I would just say, in conclusion, that I feel it a great kindness that you should take so much notice of, or show so much regard to, so vile a worm as I am. If the vessels in the tabernacle had not been of brass, sanctified by blood, there would not be any hope that such base metal as I am by reason of sin could ever be used in the Lord's service. But, blessed be the Lord, such vessels, having nothing to glory in, are chosen to glory in the Lord. I assure you that I want Jesus every moment, to be my sanctification as well as my righteousness; and although I am sure that you are the Lord's, yet I cannot think that you are so base or so vile as myself. Praying that the Lord the Spirit may direct our hearts into the love of God the Father, and the patient waiting for his Son Jesus Christ, I remain, my dear and highly-esteemed brother, 107 Bath, May, 1840. Yours in the best bond,. A PELICAN IN THE WILDERNESS. F. S. Dear Brother in the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ,-I have dropped these few lines just to say that you must not be surprised if I do not comply with your request to send my experience for a few weeks longer. Since your letter came to hand I have received a paper from an enemy to the truth, requesting an answer, and as Sunday is the only day upon which I have any time to write on spiritual subjects, I cannot get on as fast as I would. I also wish to say a little in answer to your questions here, that it may not take up room in my paper on the above-mentioned subject, when I send it. Be assured, dear friend, (for I believe that I can call you so, from your faithfulness to me and experimental truth,) that I can truly say you are not too particular for me. I think I have been too much censured for not being able to acquiesce in mere letter religion, and for contending for experimental truth, to be offended at one whose faithfulness betokens sworn allegiance to the cause which I trust I have been led to espouse. The reading of your letter proved a sip by the way to me. You ask me how I and my friends spend our Lord's days. With one of them I have not been acquainted more than three months, as he has lately come from B-to reside at J—, and that may not last long, as he seems desirous of living where he can attend a gospel ministry. He is a superannuated excise officer, and came here with his son to help him while establishing himself in a school. On Lord's Days we read our bible, the Standard, or any books that we think are written by God's sent servants. God-fearing men sometimes go to see one another, and sometimes I go and read for them. You mention my not attending a place of worship. How is it possible? I know not of one within twenty miles of this spot. Our hearts would be gladdened with the least probability of such a thing coming to pass. Near us we have nothing but places of presumptuous mockery, and sure I am that they will be found so at that day when things will be called by their proper names. I find that the gospel ministers who go about to different places, go where there is a gospel ministry, and so give an apple where there is an orchard. I have felt at times as if I did not know what to do with myself on Lord's Days. I see truth fallen in the streets, and error riding in triumph, the whole city given to idolatry, and working all manner of abomination in their high places, so that the very appearance of a man of truth in the streets on that day is considered a nuisance and a crime, and is loathed by them as such. You have, ever since your new birth, had the high privilege of putting your feet under your Master's table, and know not the feelings of those whom it has pleased God to deny a present share of that unspeakable gift. There are professors of religion at almost every door now-a-days, and the Lord's Day is their fair-day, in which they riot and sport themselves with their own deceivings; while the burdened soul has to go many a mile, and creep into the corner of a chapel, to hear whether the minister has a message for him, or can tell him where he is, and what is the matter with him; to see if his covenant God will manifest himself once more as a merciful Father, and as having taken away all his iniquities, that the poor soul may weep in his loving bosom, and all his accusers be silenced. O precious visits! but how soon over! Such souls, my friend, do not want the every-day cry of, "You never attend a place of worship," sounding in their ears, nor the Church, of England beadle-men to force them to church whenever they can get an opportunity. You ask me, in what way we make it manifest to the world that we are as lights in a dark place; "For," say you, "the word of God declares, 'No man lighteth a candle, and putteth it under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that it may give light to them that are in the house;" or how shall the worldly professor or profane man know that you have been with Jesus, and have another spirit in you?" I am rather surprised at this question. Have you never read, "The light shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not?" Jesus never manifested himself to the world; (John xvii. 6;) consequently they knew him not; nor did they know his Father, (John xvii. 25,) nor the Spirit, for they could not receive him. (John xiv. 17.) They always judge by outside appearances, and so cannot judge right. If a man will make a flaring profession, say nothing offensive to their practices, find fault with no one's religion, in a word, think well of everybody and speak ill of nobody, the world will say that he is the man who has the light and the spirit of Christ in him. I have been a witness to it, and I believe that if the world, professing and profane, were to sit in judgment over all who are engaged in the cause of Jesus, they would unanimously declare them to be a set of mad, harsh, narrow-minded, bigoted, censorious, bad-spirited men, and declare that they had a devil, or something as bad, and were not fit to live. The religion of Jesus Christ does not consist in having three prayer meetings in the chapel, and four in the street, in one week. Jesus saith, "When thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and shut the door." He more than once cautioned them against a great outside show. I do not wish to be understood to say anything against real prayer meetings, or the number of them. I pray before my family twice a day, and thank God for the provision which he spreads on my table. That is all the external profession which the world, or professors, can know of me, as they can neither see me in the closet nor hear my private breathings. Jutbury, 1841. W. L. THE FLAMING SWORD THAT GUARDS THE TREE OF LIFE. My dear Friend,-I was truly glad to receive a line from you; but I see and feel myself to be such a blind fool that I know not how to answer it. At this time, what little sense. I thought I possessed appears to be gone, so you must have it as it is; for I feel that I have no power to command wisdom, nor yet strength, or light, or life. But I must tell you a little of what I felt to-day, and if I could have written at the time I think my pen would have run well, for I felt my heart drawn out sweetly towards you. I learn from your letter that your path has been a dark one for some time, but that the light of life hath once more shined into your heart, and given you to feel that there is still life in your soul, and drawn out your heart toward the dear Jesus, and given you a desire to know more of him, to feel the cleansing efficacy of his precious blood, and to be covered with his spotless righteousness. You have been feelingly taught that those who are passing through death from day to day are the only persons who know anything of the secret. Ah, my dear friend, there are but few, very few, who are experimentally taught what it is to die daily; and no one can know anything about the life of Christ but those who are taught to feel that they are spiritually dead in themselves: "For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God." Theu, my dear friend, when we can neither see nor feel that we have any life in ourselves, it is hid from our sight and feelings, but still our life is in safe hands, because it is with Christ in God. It is hid from the devil, and he cannot touch it, let him rave and roar as he may; and although he will sometimes challenge us, as he did poor Job, saying, "Life for life, and skin for skin," and tell us that a man will give all that he hath for his life, yet he cannot touch the poor soul's life, for Christ is our life, “and when Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall we also appear with him in glory." So that, my dear friend, there can be none, either on earth or in heaven, who know anything experimentally about the righteousness of Christ, but those whom the blessed Spirit has stripped naked. The righte ousness of Christ was no more to me than the queen's crown is now, until the Lord put me into the fire and burned off my filthy rags, and made me stand naked before him, trembling from head to foot, and I could see nothing but God the Father in his justice, with a drawn sword in his hand, and feeling a burden of sin and guilt on my conscience. I do not for a moment wonder that poor Adam tried to hide himself from the Lord, for I believe that at times I should have been glad to creep into hell, if I had thought that I could hide myself from the piercing eye of the Almighty; but my poor soul, like David, was taught that if I made my bed in hell, 'the wrath and justice of God would be there also. And sure I am that there are thousands of professors who were never brought where poor Adam was, viz., to see themselves naked, and to feel that, living and dying in that state, they must be eternally damned. Until the soul is brought to see and feel that he stands naked before God, he will never be driven out of his earthly paradise of good works; and until this takes place, his soul will never seek after the tree of life. No man will ever leave this earthly paradise until he is driven out by force, for the Lord God" drove out the man, and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life." And as this flaming sword turneth every way, it is impossible for those who climb over the wall to get to the tree of life. O my dear friend, why was it that the dear Lord put us into the fire, and into the furnace, and into the wine press ? Why, because he loved us. Therefore he brought his sovereign grace into our hearts, made such a distinguishing display of his mercy in our poor souls, broke up the mystery of iniquity within,. and made us sick of self and all that springs from it. As for good works, I have none; for "who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? not one." Then if there is anything good in me, the Lord must work it in me; and if anything good comes from me, the Lord must work it out by his own power. That the God of Jacob may bless you, keep you, and hold you up in the hour of temptation, is the prayer of, yours in tribulation, Pewsey, January, 1844. SOUL TRAVAIL. T. G. My dear Friend in the Truth,-I have little to say, as it respects. my own soul, but that I painfully feel I am a vile, miserable, helpless sinner. Sometimes I trust I am blest with a little strength and hope from God's word, but much oftener, of late, doubting and fearing, oppressed and struggling with the awful workings of a vile ungodly heart and nature. O, how have I felt my carnal mind, the law of sin which is in my members, to be at enmity with God, "not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be!" Nor can I make it so; no; nor can I myself subdue it. And when I feel the law of sin so powerfully working and fermenting in my vile nature, and find that I have so little heavenly-mindedness, so little of the same mind that was in the blessed Jesus, so few of the holy fruits of the blessed Spirit of God, together with the shallowness of my religion generally, I greatly fear at times that I shall prove nothing but a deceived and deceiving hypocrite. And O how it sinks the soul to have these fears and suspicions! and, in this state, to go on speaking in the Lord's name! I find a cry in my heart for the Lord to search me and try me, to make me honest and sincere, but I feel I have no power to make myself so, and I feel so much secret deceit in my heart that I hardly know whether or not I can be sincere in this. I wish to feel godly sorrow and contrition for the evil workings of 66 my heart, but I cannot at all times feel as much as I could wish. I 1 |
