338 MY FATHER's Death. John Locke has said that nine out of ten persons were what they were from their training and our family is an illustration of the importance of family life and education, for we were piously trained. The Germans have a happy saying that a man cannot be too careful in the selection of his parents. No one could have had better parents than we. I have spoken much of my father's Christian character. His last days were peaceful and beautiful. Having been for forty-four years a preacher, he was for twelve years an earnest hearer of the Word, and earnest parishioner. Attending divine worship and receiving the Communion on April 8, he was in the evening seized with a paroxysm of pain, from which he had suffered at intervals for nearly fifty years, caused by the calculi in the gall ducts. During the next fortnight he had two or three more, and on April 22, he had another, when for two hours his agony was extreme. Retaining his consciousness to the last he passed away at 3 A. M., April 25, 1849. His was a strong but well-rounded character; he loved society and formed new acquaintances very easily; his strong sympathy with the young was remarkable, and few have gone to the grave, at his age, with so many personal friends. He had uncommon buoyancy of spirit and this with habitual trust in God enabled him to throw off or bear cheerfully heavy burdens; he had learned in whatever situation he was, therewith to be content. Having a great and magnanimous spirit he never cherished an enmity or forgot a friend. During the last ten years of his life he had felt like Dr. Doddridge that he was not anxious when he lay down at night whether he awoke in this world or the next. Some of his last sayings were, "God seems to permit me to live so long that He may give me clearer manifestations of Jesus Christ. The older I grow, the more clear God's promises appear. Eternity now seems very near, and I realize more the glory and goodness of God." He was buried at Wiscasset, and though twenty years had passed since he had left it, a crowded assembly witnessed the solemn services, and followed the body to the cemetery. The following inscription is on his tombstone at Wiscasset : REV. HEZEKIAH PACKARD, D. D. A Soldier of the Revolution, Grad. Harvard Univ. 1787, Tutor in same 4 years. A minister of the Gospel 44 years, in this town 28 years, MY MOTHER'S LAST DAYS. Died in peace and triumph at Salem, Mass., a man in whom was no guile. "The memory of the just is blessed." 339 My mother's religious experience is interesting. She had been brought up among Unitarians, and had not, it was thought, very clear views of the Deity of Christ and of the Atonement. A conversation, which my brother had with her, shortly before her death, showed, however, that we had been mistaken. I will give its substance, as the testimony of Christian experience, which is always valuable. She was very reserved on the subject of personal religion and had never talked much of herself. She said : "I was reading the hymn, from Watts, 'Show pity, Lord, O Lord forgive, Let a repenting rebel live,' but I could not get through it. A sense of God's goodness and of my own ingratitude overwhelmed me. I always had a sense of sin and unworthiness, but have never shed tears of contrition before. I feel wholly unworthy; my best services are sinful. I have committed no gross sins, but the heart is deceitful. Secret sins of the heart I lament, yet fear I may be deceived. I pray, Lord, shew me myself; spare not. My only hope is Jesus Christ. He is my ALL. I have no righteousness of my own. I trust in Him alone. I "I never had fears of death. I think little of punishment. want to be purified, to be made like God, like the Saviour. I am often afraid I am deceived. I fear that the offering of myself is not worth His acceptance." She ascribed the feelings she had to the influences of God's Spirit. "I know," she said, "that God's grace is free; I have nothing to recommend me. I must adore His grace." She felt God would be just in casting her off, for she had abused His mercies. She did not know that she had thought lightly of the Saviour, but felt that she had most ungratefully neglected Him. Her patience and resignation were remarkable. "I feel that God has been good to me. I have no complaint to make. I think I can see much suffering before me, but I leave that and my end in the hands of God. I have given up the world." 340 MY BROTHER WILLIAM. Speaking of a possible recovery, she said "All in perfect submission; I leave it with God." Asked what subject occupied her thoughts, she said “Christ and His Cross. All power is committed to Him. He is almighty and willing to save. exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour. I have committed myself to Him. Last winter I studied the New Testament a good deal, and I found the atonement brought to view everywhere; it was the principal thing. I felt I needed the atonement. I could not become like God without it. We could not appear before God were there no daysman between us." She never murmured or complained about herself. When her pillows were fixed, she said "How easy a sick bed can be made !” She lamented that she could not fix her mind on any subject from weakness. "A poor time to prepare! All my preparation must have been made before this. I think I can not be with you long. How dreadful this hour to those who have no confidence! My prayer always must be, God be merciful to me a sinner." "I feel," she said, "If I can only get through I shall be safe beyond. I need fear no evil then," and she quoted Mason's lines, "The dread path, once trod, Heaven lifts its everlasting portals high." She had caught cold from standing in the snow in thin shoes at a burial. Overshoes were not used then. She passed away in the early morning with all her children around her, without a groan or struggle, being spared the agonies which we had dreaded from her disease. It was while I was at college, September 18, 1829, a day I have ever remembered these seventytwo years. The death-bed of a believer should interest and help all believers. It is a scene through which we all must pass, and it is well to know how others have fought the fight with the last enemy, and how they kept the faith in sickness and death, and were enabled to finish their course with joy. myself was the He was a beau My brother William four years younger than next after my mother to leave our family circle. tiful youth, of high character and aims, and was taken ill in November while at college, came home and died January 28, 1834, in his eighteenth year. I give some of his religious experiences. "I wish I could tell you how precious the Saviour appears to me. He is infinitely precious. How strange it is that people do not think more of him. I enjoy my meditations at night when I am awake very often." Being asked what idea he had of heaven he MY BROTHER CHARLES. 341 said, "I shall meet my Saviour there, and I have given myselfto Him, I shall be free from the trials of life, and then I shall meet mother." He feared that he would be impatient, that his sufferings would be too much for him. He suffered terribly, and said, "I thought I was dying, but I prayed that I might be supported and felt very happy." He prayed for patience and submission. His distress was beyond description on his last Monday. He could not speak but groaned bitterly. A half hour before he died he was perfectly sensible of his situation and said he was going, that he was "willing, willing." He named each one of the family, and said, "Oh, how I love you all!" He then exclaimed, "Oh, the Lord Jesus! Oh, how lovely! lovely! lovely!" and the expression of his face was heavenly, and he fell asleep in Jesus. If St. Stephen beheld the Lord Jesus with his bodily eyes, why may we not believe that this young Christian beheld him. My brother Charles was born April 12, 1801, and at the age of nine an accident confined him to a bed of suffering for many months. In splitting wood, the axe glanced and entered his knee. His life was despaired of, and even the spot was selected for his burial. He was cut off from active pursuits for several years, and read much, Miss Edgeworth's "Parents' Assistant" being then just published. He read with great interest and rapidity the Bible, going through it several times before he was twelve years old. He was prepared under his father's instruction to enter Bowdoin College at the age of twelve, and graduated at sixteen with honor. He was a good Latin, Greek and French scholar, corresponding in Latin with his brother. After teaching five years he began the study of law, and in 1824 began its practice in Brunswick, where he spent eleven years. He married, in November, Miss Rebecca Prentiss, daughter of Hon. W. A. Kent, of Concord, N. H., and Mrs. Packard and four children survive. He had been an upright and moral man, but not a Christian. In March, 1834, two months after his brother's death, a series of religious services were held, at one of which a sermon by Dr. Pond on the text, I thought on my ways and turned my feet unto Thy testimonies," aroused him. He said, "I don't like to think of God; but I see that I must, and I will." He thought of sin till his sin became a reality and a guilty thing. He thought of Jesus as a Saviour till his heart went forth to Him in trust and love, and he consecrated himself to that Saviour's service. After uniting with the Church, he decided to enter the ministry, giving up his home and con 342 MY BROTHERS HEZEKIAH AND GEORGE. genial friends. He studied at Andover and Lane Seminaries; worked in the West and later in his native State of Massachusetts, at Lancaster and Biddeford, everywhere preaching Christ and building up His Kingdom of righteousness. He was Moderator of the State Conference the last three years of his life. His end was very sudden and peaceful. Wednesday afternoon, February 17, 1864, he attended a prayer meeting, where all marked his vigor and earnestness. After family prayers, though a bitter night, he went out to a lecture, returning twice into the room to make some playful remark and kissing his wife, saying, "we have been married thirty-five years; we have lived together very happily." A genial man, a Christian man to the last, and more and more such, as the hour unknown to him and to all drew nigh. On his return just before reaching his home a sudden distress came upon him. He entered a neighbor's house and in less than four minutes breathed his last. His character might be described in one word manliness, in the best and highest sense. Manly wisdom, dignity, childlike transparency, honesty and trueheartedness were his, with a playful humor, a loyalty to truth and duty, that made him beloved and respected. His preaching covered a wide range of subjects and was strong and independent. My brother Hezekiah was the next one called away, June 23, 1867, after most intense suffering for ten hours. He had been delicate for many years, suffering greatly from his throat, and death which came to him, a true Christian, was a blessed release. He had studied medicine but fainted at the sight of blood and gave up the profession after completing his course. He was a teacher and in his work almost a minister. George, next to Charles in age, was born May 23, 1803, was married May 21, 1833, and was ordained May 22, 1843. He had been for fifteen years a most successful physician, when he decided to become a minister and entered our Seminary. He was ordained in Richmond at the Council and Rev. Dr. Milner preached the ordination sermon. We stayed with Dr. James Bolton, a physician who came to the Seminary and was ordained in 1845. When a physician George was in Rev. Horatio Potter's parish, who valued him most highly and went on from New York to Lawrence to visit him in his last illness. He suffered from heart disease for sometime, but only severely for a fortnight before his death. He met his death with perfect serenity and never lost his interest in passing events, was the first of the family to speak of its being Thanksgiving Day, |