out of this vision, I learnt from it never to repine at my own misfortunes, or to envy the happiness of another, since it is impossible for any man to form a right judgement of his neighbour's sufferings; for which reason also, I have determined never to think too lightly of another's complaints, but to regard the sorrows of my fellow creatures with sentiments of humanity and compassion. No. 560. MONDAY, JUNE 28, 1714. · Verba intermissa retentat. OVID. MET. i. 747. He tries his tongue, his silence softly breaks. DRYDEN. EVERY one has heard of the famous conjuror, who, according to the opinion of the vulgar, has studied himself dumb; for which reason, as it is believed, he delivers out all his oracles in writing. Be that as it will, the blind Tiresias was not more famous in Greece than this dumb artist has been for some years last past in the cities of London and Westminster. Thus much for the profound gentleman who honours me with the following epistle. 66 SIR, "BEING informed that you have lately got the use of your tongue, I have some thoughts of following your example, that I may be a fortune-teller properly speaking. I am grown weary of my taciturnity, and having served my country many years under the title of the dumb doctor,' I shall now prophesy by word of mouth, and, as Mr. Lee says of the magpie, who, you know, was a great fortune-teller among the ancients, chatter futurity. I have hitherto chosen to receive questions and return answers in writing, that I might avoid the tediousness and trouble of debates, my querists being generally of a humour to think that they have never predictions enough for their money. In short, Sir, my case has been something like that of those discreet animals the monkeys, who, as the Indians tell us, can speak if they would, but purposely avoid it that they may not be made to work. I have hitherto gained a livelihood by holding my tongue, but shall now open my mouth in order to fill it. If I appear a little word-bound in my first solutions and responses, I hope it will not be imputed to any want of foresight, but to the long disuse of speech. I doubt not by this invention to have all my former customers over again; for if I have promised any of them lovers or husbands, riches or good luck, it is my design to confirm to them, viva voce, what I have already given them under my hand. If you will honour me with a visit, I will compliment you with the first opening of my mouth; and if you please, you may make an entertaining dialogue out of the conversation of two dumb men. Excuse this trouble, worthy Sir, from one who has been a long time "Your silent admirer, 66 CORNELIUS AGRIPPA.' "From my Cell, June 24, 1714." I have received the following letter, or rather billet-doux, from a pert young baggage, who congratulates with me upon the same occasion. "DEAR MR. PRATE-APACE, "I AM a member of a female society who call ourselves the Chit-chat-club, and am ordered by the whole sisterhood to congratulate you upon the use of your tongue. We have all of us a mighty mind to hear you talk; and if you will take your place among us for an evening, we have unanimously agreed to allow you one minute in ten, without interruption. "June 23, 1714. "I am, SIR, "Your humble servant, "S. T. "P.S. You may find us at my lady Betty Clack's, who will leave orders with her porter, that if an elderly gentleman, with a short face, inquires for her, he shall be admitted, and no questions asked." As this particular paper shall consist wholly of what I have received from my correspondents, I shall fill up the remaining part of it with other congratulatory letters of the same nature. 66 SIR, "WE are here wonderfully pleased with the opening of your mouth, and very frequently open ours in approbation of your design; especially since we find you are resolved to preserve your taciturnity as to all party matters. We do not question but you are as great an orator as Sir Hudibras, of whom the poet sweetly sings, -He could not ope His mouth, but out there flew a trope. If you will send us down the half dozen well-turned periods that produced such dismal effects in your muscles, we will deposit them near an old manuscript of Tully's Orations, among the archives of the university; for we all agree with you, that there is not a more remarkable accident recorded in history, since that which happened to the son of Croesus; nay, I believe you might have gone higher, and have added Balaam's ass. We are impatient to see more of your productions; and expect what words will next fall from you with as much attention as those who were set to watch the speaking head which friar Bacon formerly erected in this place. "We are, worthy SIR, "Your most humble servants, "Oxford, June 25, 1714." "HONEST SPEC, "I AM very glad to hear that thou beginnest to prate; and find, by thy yesterday's vision, thou art so used to it that thou canst not forbear talking in thy sleep. Let me only advise thee to speak like other men; for I am afraid thou wilt be very queer if thou dost not intend to use the phrases in fashion, as thou callest them in thy second paper. Hast thou a mind to pass for a Bantamite, or to make us all Quakers? I do assure thee, dear Spec, I am not polished out of my veracity, when I subscribe my self No. 561. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30, 1714. -Paulatim abolere Sichæum Incipit, et vivo tentat prævertere amore But he Works in the pliant bosom of the fair, VIRG. N. i. 720. And moulds her heart anew, and blots her former care. DRYDEN. 66 SIR, "I AM a tall, broad-shouldered, impudent black fellow, and, as I thought, every way qualified for a rich widow but after having tried my fortune for above three years together, I have not been able to get one single relict in the mind. My first attacks were generally successful, but always broke off as soon as they came to the word settlement. Though I have not improved my fortune this way, I have my experience, and have learnt several secrets which may be of use to those unhappy gentlemen, who are commonly distinguished by the name of widow-hunters, and who do not know that this tribe of women are, generally speaking, as much upon the catch as themselves. I shall here communicate to you the mysteries of a certain female cabal of this order, who call themselves the Widow-club. This club consists of nine experienced dames, who take their places once a week round a large oval table. 66 I. Mrs. President is a person who has disposed of six husbands, and is now determined to take a se |