which I gave thee as inftruments of thy falvation. Having thus forfeited thy title to heaven, and posting to hell, I came upon earth, to leave you my life as a model, and my blood as a ranfom; and, as if my happiness were ty'd to yours, I charged myfelf with all your miferies, and made you partake of all my merits: for your fake I have trembled with cold, glowed with heat, fainted with wearinefs: I have exposed my perfon to outrage, my reputation to calumnies, and my body to tor ments. O my God, my Saviour, and my Redeemer! your complaint is juft, and my conduct unreafonable! I deferve not the name of a child: I am not worthy to be called thy Son, Luke xv. 19. who have so often treated thee as an enemy; but if I have found grace in thy fight, Gen. xxxiii. 10. receive my tears as a pledge of my repentance. I facrifice my heart to thy fervice; it fhall always flame with thy love, and always hate whatsoever displeases thee: I refolve before heaven and earth, that, as I live by thy power, I will only live to thy love. REFLECTION V. GOSPEL of St. Matth. Chap. xxvii. Verse 3. Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he faw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of filver to the chief priefts and elders. 4. Saying, I have finned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they faid, what is that to us ? fee thou to that. 5. And be caft down the pieces of filver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself. The MORAL REFLECTION. W fall, yet happy by an unfeigned repentance. E have seen an apoftle miferable by his The An over-weening conceit of his own ftrength cast him down to the bottom of the precipice; but his Master's goodness drew him out: I must now shift the scene, and represent another apostle, companion in his fin, but not in his repentance. The one denied his Mafter; the other betray'd him. apoftate found mercy; the traytor none. convey'd the first to heaven; and defpair the fecond to hell. God feems to have penn'd these two examples in his gofpel, that the very just may fear, and the wicked not defpond; that all may hope, and no body presume. Tears Without doubt,this once fortunate, now unhappy, apostle renounced the world with as great generofity as his companions. He poffefs'd indeed but little, and therefore could not leave much; yet he found fome difficulty to give up his hope; which is an estate entailed on every man; and much more to lay his liberty at the foot of his Master, whofe circumstances seemed not to promife much preferment; yet providence provided him with neceffaries, and fervour bore the want of fuperfluities, not only with patience, but pleasure; fo that when Christ asked him, if he wanted any thing, he frankly anfwered, Nothing. Who can poffefs a more valuable treasure, than he, who wants nothing, and defires no more? Befides, our Saviour feemed to have a peculiar confideration for his person, and so put a confidence in his integrity; for he promoted him to the office of steward, and entrusted him with thofe alms he received from the charity of the faithful; for had his Mafter placed him in that ftation out of his own motion, he had proportioned his grace to the office, and fecured him either from falling, or at leaft from the danger of defpair: but being the cause of his promotion, it was juft he should be alfo of his ruin. -The neceffity of handling money foon turned into a pleafure, and the metal, that sparkled upon his eyes, made a more agreeable impreffion upon his heart. However, he difcharged his duty for fome time with probity; and this made him fufpect, it was not fo hard for a rich man to enter into heaven, as his Mafter pretended. In a word, he became a great advocate for the ftate of rich men, and pleaded for the advantages of wealth, till he had loft his innocence. For now he began to wifh he might be permitted to lay up a fmall peculium for age and contingencies, and, no doubt, had the confidence to afk leave, and Chrift the goodness to grant it. But alas! poor man! he over-look'd an important point of morality; viz. that paffions are never quelled by an indulgent condefcenfion; they are a rabble that learn obedience by force, and rebellion by kindness; the more you grant to their importunity, the more they importune; but if you refufe them all things, they defire nothing. This illiterate fisherman would needs commence cafuift, and divine; to appropriate (faid he) a fmall fum can be no great fin, and probably in my circumstances none, because I am fure of leave, if bafhfulnefs would permit me to afk it. So that he had recourfe to cafuiftry and diftinctions, and, upon a principle mifunderstood, he thiev'd without fcruple, and robb'd without remorse. He He contented himself with fmall fums, and fuppofed avarice would not cry out for greater; but alas! this thriving humour grew upon him; his craving appetite called for more, and the habit of granting almoft difabled his power of denying. However, he was not fo blind, but he faw his faults, and trembled at the fad confequences, if he continued in it; he confeffed, his loss would never ballance his gain, and that the devil would steal more from him, than he could poffibly from his Mafter; yet on the other fide, he remembred, he had renounced all he poffefs'd for his fake, and received from his mouth a promife, confirmed with an oath, of an hundred-fold in this life, and heaven in the next; that he came into the world to reclaim finners, not to damn them; why therefore fhould he, who was all mercy to others, be all juftice and severity to him; thus by prefuming upon mercy, he multiplied his thefts, and, not doubting of pardon, never had the courage to afk it. Unhappy man, is it not time to return to your duty, to fue for your Mafter's favour, which you have certainly loft? Yes; but alas! he finds no inclinations to restore so foon what had coft him fo dear. His eyes are dry, his heart obdurate; he will not drop one tear, nor purpofe amendment. In fine, having loft God's grace, he hath bid adieu to fhame, and turn'd off confcience together with his duty. One fin leads to another, and the second is generally more heinous than the firft; avarice, it feems, was his darling fin. When once we are too eagerly bent upon a thing, we feldom formalize upon the means; he had gathered a fmall tock by theft; he refolved now to make his fortune at one blow by treason. He He knew, the priests meditated our Saviour's ruin, and only expected an opportnnity; he offered his fervice; they promised fair; but he foon perceived their avarice equalled their cruelty, and tho' they were bent upon revenge, they refolved to buy the fatisfaction at a cheap rate. In conclufion, they offered thirty pieces of filver; a despicable price for fo great a crime. This unexpected propofal flung the poor man into ftrange convulfions; the fmallness of the recompence difgufted him, and the foulness of his treafon ftruck him with horror; he trembled to go on, and blush'd to retreat: above he faw heaven loft; below hell ready to revenge his perfidy; yet all these spectres were unable to fright him into repentance, fo that he accepted the offer, and jumpt down a precipice; from which his Mafter declared he fhould never return. Scarce had he received the reward of his fin, when the divine juftice laid hold of the criminal; a fhort time paft between the guilt and the punishment for no fooner had he heard fentence of death pronounced upon his Mafter, but he condemned himself as the complice of the murder. Oh! then he began to wish he never had been fo happy as to have known him, or fo unfortunate as to have betray'd him. All his former fins now arose against him, and he, who before was fo infenfible as not to feel them, was now unable to endure them; he felt, by experience, filver was no cure for a wounded confcience, and fo hated the price of this fin, as the fole caufe of his torment: fain would he find fome remedy, but could not refolve upon the choice of the phyfician. Sometimes he had thoughts of cafting himself at his Master's feet, but pride diffuaded him from fo humble a posture; and, as before his mercy encouraged him to fin, fo now his juftice deterred him from afking forgiveness. Conducted therefore by |