CHAPTER IV.

THE DUTIES OF PARENTS.

"Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

Ephes. vi. 4.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart

from it."

Prov. xxii. 6.

"And these words which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart, and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deut. vi. 67. "And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to the fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse."

Mal. iv.

Ir is an interesting and important era in the history of domestic life, when the husband and wife receive the new names of father and mother, and become united by the supplemental tie, which is furnished by the little helpless stranger, so lately introduced into the family. Who that has felt them, can ever forget the emotions awakened by the first gaze upon the face of his child, by the first embrace of his babe. Little, however, do the bulk of mankind consider, what a weight of obligation, what a degree of responsibility, that child has brought into the world with him for his parents. In the joyousness with which the mother lavishes her fond embraces upon her boy, and in the paternal pride with which the father looks on this new object of their affection, how rarely does either of them revolve, in deep. seriousness, the future destiny of this new idol of their hearts; or consider how nearly that destiny is connected with their own conduct. Parental obligations are neither felt nor known by multitudes. How then can they be discharged? Rushing into the connexion of marriage under the mere impulse of passion, without forethought, without prudence, multitudes become pa

rents before they have one right view or one right feeling in reference to the duties of the parental relationship; to which they come with scarcely any other preparedness, than that mere animal fondness for their young, which they partake of in common with the irrational creation; but not with that instinctive ability, "to train them up in the way they should go." Who can wonder at the disordered state of society at large, or be surprised at the aboundings of evils and miseries in our world, that looks at the manner in which domestic duties are neglected. When I consider what poor, ignorant, thoughtless, frivolous, wicked creatures are often seen at the head of households, I can only ascribe it to the interference of an all-wise and powerful providence, that society is not far more chaotic than it is.

My business in this chapter, is to endeavor to rectify, if possible, some of these evils, and to lay down a rule to guide the parent in discharging his truly important, and awfully responsible obligation: persuaded as I am, that many of the evils and miseries of society would vanish before a right performance of parental duties.

1. It is impossible for parents to discharge their duty, without a correct view of the nature and designs of the domestic constitution.

This they should study, and arrive at the conclusion as speedily as possible, and keep it ever before the mind, that the great design of this compact is to form well the character of the children; to train up the citizen for the world, and the christain for the church; to assist the child, as a mortal, to go with honor and comfort through this life, and as an immortal, to reach life everlasting. The domestic circle is intended to be the school of character, where, in the highest sense of the term, the most important business of education is to be conducted; where the moral sense is to be implanted and cultivated, and the conscience, and the temper, and the heart, are all to be trained.

2. Parents should be most deeply impressed and affected, with a sense of the importance of the station they occupy in the domestic constitution.

Their state of mind should be the very opposite of that light and frivolous indifference; that absence of all

There are

anxiety, which many of them manifest. some who seem to regard their children as pretty little living playthings, that must be well taken care of, and be taught, by somebody or other, what ever will set them, off to the best advantage: but as to any idea of the formation of their character, especially their moral and religious character, and any of that deep, and painful, and almost overwhelming solicitude, which arises from a clear perception, and powerful impression of the probable connexion between the child's destiny, and the parents' conduct, to all this they are utter strangers. Many horticulturalists have far more intense solicitude about the developing of their plants, far more wakeful and anxious care about the fragrance and color of a flower, or the size and flavor of a fruit, than many parents have about the developement of mind and the formation of character in a child. They have plants of immortality in their house, they have young trees which are to bear fruits to eternity, growing up around them, the training of which is committed to their care, and yet have very little solicitude, and scarcely any thoughtfulness, whether they yield in this world or the next, poisonous or wholesome produce. On parents, it depends in a great measure what their chilrden are to be, miserable or happy in themselves; a comfort or a curse to their connexions; an ornament or a deformity to society; a fiend or a seraph in eternity. It is indeed an awful thing to be a parent, and is enough to awaken the anxious, trembling inquiry in every heart, "Lord, who is sufficient for these things?"

3. Parents should seek after the possession of all possible qualifications for their office.

What man in his senses would undertake the office of a pilot upon a dangerous coast, without a knowledge of navigation? Or that of a general of an army, without a knowledge of military tactics? Or that of a physician, without a knowledge of medicine and diseases? And who would go on another hour in the office-of a parent, without seeking to possess all suitable qualifications? And what are they?

Genuine personal religion: for how can they bring up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, if

they do not know the Lord for themselves? In order to teach religion with any probable effect, we must know it ourselves. That parent will have little ability, and less inclination, to inculcate piety upon his children, who has none himself. A graceless parent is a most awful character! Oh, to see the father and mother of a rising family, with a crowd of young immortals growing up around them, and teaching irreligion to their offspring, and leading them to perdition, by the power of their own example-a sheep leading her twin lambs into the cover of a hungry tiger, would be a shocking sight; but to see parents by their own irreligion, or want of religion, conducting their family to the bottomless pit, is most horrible!! No one, then, can rightly discharge the duties of a parent, in the higher reference of the family compact, without that personal religion, which consists in repentance towards God, faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, and a life of habitual holiness. In the absence of this, the highest end of the domestic constitution must be neglected, the sublimest part of education must be abandoned.

Parents should seek the entire government of their temper: a habit of self control; a meekness not to be disturbed by the greatest provocation; a patience not to be wearied by long continued opposition. I say to any father or mother, are you irritable, petulant? If so, begin this moment the work of subjugating your temper. You are in imminent peril of ruining your family. A passionate mother or father, is like a fury with a sceptre in one hand, and a fire-brand in the other: and when the king is a fury, the subjects are likely to be furies too; for nothing is more contagious than bad temper. O how many parents have had to bewail with weeping eyes, and almost broken hearts, the effects of their own irratibility as apparent in the headstrong passionate dispositions of their children. It is against this evil that the admonition of the Apostle is directed, "forbearing threatening." Passion blinds the judgment, leads to undue severity, fosters partialities, in short, is the source of a thousand evils in the domestic government. An irritable person can never manage discipline with propriety, but is ever prone to correct, when correction

should never be administered, in a rage. Parents, I beseech you to control your temper and acquire a calm, imperturbable disposition, for this only can fit you to rule your household in wisdem, justice and love.

A habit of discrimination is a very important qualification in parents; a penetrating insight into character; an acuteness in judging of motives. Such a talent is of immense consequence in the domestic community; and connected with this, a quickness of discerning disposition, together with an inventive and ingenious faculty of adapting treatment to the varieties of character and propensity which are continually exhibiting themselves.

A kindness of manner, an affectionate, persuasive address, is of great importance. It is desirable for parents to render their company pleasant to their children, to engage their confidence, to exert over them the influence of love, which certainly cannot be done by a cold, or churlish, or distant behavior.

Prudence and good sense are qualities of such inestimable worth, and depend so much upon education, that all who have the care of children, should perpetually exhibit them for imitation. A rash, thoughtless father, a wild, romantic mother, do incalculable mischief in a family.

Firmness is essentially requisite in parents; that disposition, which though at the remotest distance from all that is rigid, stern and cruel, can master its own feelings, and amidst the strongest appeals to the tender emotions of the mind, can inflexibly maintain its purpose; and in the way of denying improper requests, or administering correction, can inflict pain on the object of its affection, whenever duty requires an exercise of beneficial severity. For want of this disposition, of this fine and noble quality, how many have ruined their children forever by indulgence.

Varied information and extensive knowledge are very desirable. Parents should be able to direct the studies, to answer the inquiries, to correct the mistakes, to assist the pursuits, and in short, to superintend the general instruction of their families.