and thankful to him for the fu- sob, seek ye my face in vain." him, I glorified him not as God," Considering that in order to ex-being unthankful. Having such pect, or meet with a blessing, I a sense of my ingratitude to must be in the use of all the ap- God, resolved to live a better pointed means of acquiring know-life, more prayerful, thoughtful, ledge and grace; therefore was resolved to give my mind wholly to reading the scriptures and other pious books, and likewise to the duty of self-examination, and to reform, in whatever I found amiss, and to attend upon the word preached and to hear as for my life; reflecting how often I had attended upon the public worship of God, and heard as though I heard not, with little or no concern; thinking that it applied to some other one, and even, when professedly join-bout to establish my own righting with the people of God, in eousness; and hoped by thus prayer, my heart had been far repenting, reforming, and continfrom him; that truly I had been uing, I should feel willing to die. of that class spoken of in scrip- But notwithstanding all my enture, who drew near to God deavors after perfect obedience, with their mouth, and honored found by experience that I came him with their lips, while, in- short in all the duties; that while deed, their heart was far from attending upon the word preachhim; and that God seeth not as ed, particularly when joining in man seeth; man looketh at the prayer, was very much troubled outward appearance, but God with wandering thoughts, and searcheth the heart. And like knew not what to do; I strove awise, reflecting upon the good-gainst them, but in vain, wholly ness of God, and upon the many mercies which I had received, particularly the comfortable measure of health that I had been favored with, and a competency of the necessaries of life, and the enjoyment of kind friends; and reflecting how little I had thought of Him, from whom I had received so many great and numberless favors, and mercies; and, from whom cometh down every good and perfect gift; that he had not been in all my thoughts, that truly I had lived without God in the world, and that "when I knew to extirpate them for any length of time; for, before I was aware, the first thing I knew, my thoughts, like the fool's eye, would be to the ends of the earth. Thus perplexed, I knew not what to do, for alas! I could no further go; for I had sought and strove, but found not, knocked but it had not been opened; nothing, however, but thick darkness spread over my mind, and I had endeavored to draw near unto him in his appointed means, but still found myself no nearer, but farther off, and had endeavored to { love and serve him with all my Truly, my mind was very in the psalms of David, the most devotional part of them, together with Dr. Watts' psalms and hymns, particularly, the 101st, entitled, “ Repentance from a sense of divine goodness, or a complaint of ingratitude.' diffidence, was deterred; and took great satisfaction in having you attend the singing-schools, and to conclude with a prayer, But reflecting, that I was har- and thought it far the best part; boring hard thoughts of God, and even wondered how they and that must be very, very un- could laugh and appear so merry just, as well as dangerous, thereafter singing such striking words, fore, endeavored to extirpate and hearing such solemn praythem by considering, that possiers. bly I had asked amiss, or, that my motives were not good; and tent upon scrious subjects; I if so, that God saw it fit not to wished to be reading constantanswer them; of course the faultly, the scriptures particularly, must be in me, as I had found that had been the case, heretofore. Near this time, I heard you preach one evening lecture from Jonah ii. 4.-"Then I said I am cast out of thy sight, yet I will look again towards thy holy temple."-Which text, and discourse I thought very appli"Is this the kind return, cable to my case, and thoughThus to abuse eternal love Are these the thanks we owe, like Jonah, seemingly cast from Whence all our blessings flow!". his presence, yet I would look again, towards his holy temple; and persevere in the use of all means, and patiently wait upon God for a blessing, in the light of his countenance; and methought took more satisfaction in the things of religion, than in any thing of a worldly nature; and did not wish to hear any thing conversed upon but religion; and, even wondered why Christians did not talk more upon the subject, and particularly My passion, pride, and discontent, Here at thy feet, my God to me; but thought it just e- And vile ingratitude. nough that I should be deprived Sure there was ne'er a heart so base of that, which heretofore, had So false as mine has been ; been so disagreeable to me; like-So faithless to its promises, wise felt very desirous that eve- So prone to every sin! ry body should pray for me; for Break, sovereign grace, O break the indeed, I could not pray myself, charm, but sought every opportunity of joining with others, and several times, almost prevailed on to ask for your prayers, but through And likewise the 47th, Hymn- Almighty Father, Gracious Lord, And the 49th-entitled "In- "With tears of anguish, I lament, And set the captive free: Reveal, Almighty God, thine arm, And haste to rescue me." I selected these, and commit ted them to memory to repeat in my leisure moments of retire ment, as corresponding with my feelings, and the language of my heart. But, notwithstanding, the thoughts of death were irksome, and even wondered why it was thus with me, that while I took so much satisfaction in religious services, that I felt no more willingness to die, than I usually had done before ;and still wondered how it was that they obtained such lively hopes; that being the mark which I had set to try myself by, resolved to pursue the prize, and not to content myself with any thing short of that, if possible to be obtained.- -In the mean time Doct. L. gave me an invitation to attend an evening lecture up town sometime in October, which I very thankfully accepted, in hopes that it would be a mean of affording me some light upon that all-important and interesting subject, which, in some degree, had the desired effect. Hearing a sermon preached from these words, by Mr. H. "Peace I leave with you, peace I give unto you not as the world giveth, give I unto you," &c.; together with conversing upon the subject, very much affected me, and produced in my mind a strong desire after reconciliation and peace with God, as the only thing conducive to my happiness here, and hereafter and even thought, if I was in possession of the whole world, it would afford me no satisfaction, without peace with God; and with the latter, I could be happy without the former, if over so adverse: which led me to implore reconciliation with God, in the words of the PsalmVor. VI. No. 12. : ist,-that God would be pleased to lift upon me the light of his countenance, whereby I could obtain true peace of mind.-After retiring, took up the holy Bible to find the text, in order to read the context, in hopes to find some word to comfort my troubled heart and distressed mind: but failed in the attempt, the text being mentioned before I got there; and I could not recollect in which of the Evangelists it was coutained; therefore, thought I would turn to some portion of the Old Testament, and opened to Isaiah; and looking along, cast my eye upon the 40th chapter, and read as follows: "Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people, saith your God; speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned," &c.— Truly, it was a word in season: never before did I read with so much delight; indeed, I had not read but very few verses, before every word appeared to be full of divine beauty; and thus I continued to read a number of chapters by course, which led me to meditate upon the being of God, and upon his divine attributes, as the supreme Governor of the world, and to rejoice with the Psalmist in his government, and to adopt the words, "The Lord reigneth, let the earth rejoice, let the multitude of the isles be glad thereof; though clouds and darkness are round about him, yet righteousness and judgment are the habitation of his throne,"-and to rejoice that there was such a Being that would judge the world in righteousness, and to delight in the law of God after the inner man ; LII 66 sinner, and even the chief of sinners, and to loath and abhor myself on account of sin. IDdeed my sense of sin, and load of guilt was so great, that it ap peared to me, that I could not long have existed under them, if these texts of scripture had not been brought to my mind, and received by faith:-that Christ died for sinners, the chief of sinners, and even for such an one as I was:-that he was the way, the truth and the life, and that no man cometh to the Father, but by him :"--whom having not seen I loved, and who, though now I see him not, yet in him I would rejoice with and say with good Simeon of old, in the words of the poet "Now let me die like Simeon, With Christ in my arms :". which caused me to view, with astonishment, my past ingratitude, and rebellion against God: reflecting that I had been all that time quarreling against him, and, at the same time, imagining that I loved him, and did his service, and kept his commandments, when quite the reverse: that, truly, the heart was “ deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked:" that I had been " hewing out to myself cisterns, broken cisterns, that could hold no water :"-that it was not owing to any goodness in me, or that my heart was any better than others, that I had not been guilty of gross immoralities; but to the kind care of provi-joy unspeakable and full of glory, dence, or his restraining grace:that it was he that had made me to differ, in that respect; but that I was a child of wrath, even as others;" and that the carnal mind is enmity against and that well might the ChrisGod, is not subject to the law of tians rejoice, in the near views God, neither indeed can be, (as of the dissolution of the body, saith the inspired apostle):—that with the hope of their soul's beI had been contending with the ing united to Christ beyond the justice of God, in condemning grave, never to be separated from me, thinking that I had not his delightful presence to all been guilty of any sin worthy of eternity-that truly, there was everlasting punishment: but now enough in him to make even I could view myself unworthy of death desirable; and that if it the least of his mercies; and was the will of God to call me that God would be perfectly just, hence, to be here no more, that in punishing me to all eternity, I could feel willing and resigned, and that he would be glorified and even could rejoice in such in so doing; and that it was of an event. Then, it pleased God his mercies, that I had not been to grant me the utmost of my consumed; because his compas- desires, and even more than I sion failed not that I had not wished, or even thought of, and been cut down as a cumberer of at a time when I least expected the ground; and to admire at it,-viewing myself utterly unthe long-suffering of God. I had worthy of such a manifestation nothing to plead, but for mercy, of his abundant mercy, and even and with the publican, to smite of the least. Then did my heart on my breast, and cry, God bearise with incessant thanksgiving merciful to me, a sinner, a great and praise to God, and wished Thus, I continued for three or four days successively, constantly in the exercise of such like aspirations of thanksgiving and praise. The Sabbath following heard you preach from these words: "If the ministration of condemnation be glory, how much more doth the ministration of righteousness exceed in glory!"-Truly, methought I had found the ministration of condemnation to be glorious, and the ministration of righteousness far exceed in glory. It was a most delightful and interesting subject to me; never before did every body to assist me in the delightful employment; and to call upon my soul, and all my powers, together with the whole eration, to help me to praise the Lord for indeed, I could not be thankful enough that I had not been left to take up with nothing short of Christ; and to view the hand of God in all the work, and to give all the glory to the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. And with the Psalmist in these words-" Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his hene-I enjoy such a Sabbath; truly, fits ; who forgiveth all thine in- it was a day, the best of the iquities! O give thanks unto the seven, and a day spent in the Lord, for he is good, for his mer-house of God, in such a manner, cy endureth for ever:" and that text had been verified in me, as one that stood a living monument of God's forbearance and long-suffering!" Oh, that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men." better, far better, "than a thousand elsewhere." Truly, the ways of religion are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace for the favor of God is life, and his lovingkindness better than life. RELIGIOUS INTELLIGENCE. ........... An Address to the Christian Public on the Subject of Missions 10 the Heathen, and Translations of the Scriptures. IN behalf of the American Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions, the subscribers, a committee for the purpose, beg leave to solicit the attention of the Christian public to the cause in which the Board is engaged, and for the promotion of which it was originally instituted, and has been since incorporated. We are not backward to state, at the commencement of this address, that we shall lay before the reader, with great satisfaction, some of the facts and reasons, on which our attachment to this cause is founded, and which, we are sure, will not fail to commend themselves to every enlightened conscience, and to make an impression on every pious heart. The cause itself is transcendently glorious, and deserving of the warmest approbation of all men, however imperfectly, or feebly, we may state its claims. To doubt, or hesitate, in regard to the urgency of these claims, and the duty of keeping them habitually in view, would be equally repugnant to our feelings, and dishonorable to our profession as |