view the horrors of the burning world, and bring to my soul, a feeling sense of the agonizing pains of the damned; but instead of this, my soul was filled with joy, and the exclamation, "Glory to God!" burst from my lips. Then, for the first time, the thought was suggested, that possibly God had already forgiven all. Though my opportunity at school had been small, I had fortunately succeeded in learning to read a little, yet not without spelling many of the words. My anxiety to become acquainted with the scriptures, was very great. Yet, as my parents were poor and in a new country, we had to endure many privations. Generally, labor occupied all my time during the day, and it being difficult for us to obtain candles, I resorted to the expedient of climbing trees to procure the bark of the hickory, which burns with much flame; and by the light of this fire, I commenced reading the Bible, with anxious interest and a prayerful heart, frequently continuing my studies two or three hours after the family had retired to rest. As my acquaintance with the experience and evidences of the christian increased, the conviction gradually settled in my mind, after an examination of my own heart, that one as poor and unworthy as myself, might claim the rich and precious promises of the gospel. Then again doubts and fears pained me, lest I should build upon a false hope, and finally perish. My prayer to God was, "If I have received remission of sins, grant unto me an evidence of the same, and forbid that I should trust in any thing short of that effectual change, which alone can prepare the soul for the pure joys of the heavenly world. My mind continued thus exercised in supplication, until, though slow of heart to believe, a partial witness of having experienced regeneration, gladdened my heart, and caused me to exclaim, with the angels "o'er Judah's hallowed plain," "Glory to God in the highest; on earth peace, and good will toward men.'

The period from my consecrating myself unto God by oath till this time, was eighteen months. Soon after, in a conference meeting of the Calvinistic Baptists, I arose for the first time, repeated a hymn that

rested with some weight on my mind, and then sat down. Some were surprised, for as yet, nothing had escaped my lips, respecting my state of mind. The deacon asked me if I had experienced a change of heart. I was embarrassed, fearing to say that I had, or had not; but after a short pause, I answered, “I do not know." He then remarked, that he had observed many in childhood, commence apparently a religious course; but that it had given him little satisfaction, as they had generally turned to the world in a short time, and when arrived at manhood, they have become the worst of men. His words sunk deep into my heart, and, with my own trials and fears, shook my confidence. Doubts, like a flood, rushed again upon me; for I thought, were I a christian, surely they' would take me by the hand and gently lead me in the way. But, being unwilling to give up heaven, I continued more fervent in prayer, constantly asking of the Lord wisdom, patience and humility, beseeching him to keep me from deception and false hopes. Heaven lent a gracious ear, and instead of sinking under trials, my faith was increased, and my hope so confirmed, that not a doubt remained. And I thought frequently, though the world should dispute, I could but believe, Heaven had bestowed the "pearl of great price." When a few weeks had passed, I arose in a meeting, after hearing the sermon, and confessed the grace of God, declaring my conviction, that by the same, my soul had been redeemed from among men.' Returning home, great peace gladdened my heart. My faith became more settled, and, at times, my joy seemed to be full. I had always supposed that a change of heart was accompanied with some outward wonder; that the Saviour or an angel would appear in the heavens; or some sudden shock, as of electricity, would for an instant cause pain of body. And when Jesus in a still small voice, removed my guilt and filled my soul with peace and joy, experience was so opposite to my expectation, that it often seemed impossible, that it could be a saving change, which thus caused me to rejoice and love the humble saints.

One rule given in the may know, that we have is, love to the brethren. when we have certain evidence that our attachment to the saints is peculiar to their christian character, and proportionate to the degree of holiness they possess, then we may be sure that we have been accepted of the Lord. The christian need not remain in doubts, darkness and tempests, but may come to the faith of assurance; not by waiting for God to work miracles for his confirmation, but by searching the scripture evidences, proving his own heart, and constantly bearing the cross. When Naaman, the Syrian, came to the Prophet of Israel, he supposed that some great thing would be wrought visibly, to effect a cure of his leprosy. Thus, doubtless, many have looked that regeneration should effect some change in nature, or that some visible wonder, rather than submission of heart and reconciliation to God, should give them evidence of salvation. And when a silent voice has removed their burden, and composure of soul, with love to God and his people, has succeeded, they have passed the time of their conversion without a witness of the same; and though unable to find their former convictions and condemnation, they have neglected to take the cross or embrace the promises, and thus for years, have walked in darkness, not knowing whither they went. Would such diligently search the scriptures, examine their hearts and try their spirit, they would learn the nature and witness of a saving change, and thereby know, as well as Paul, "If their earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, they have a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens;" and instead of continuing babes in knowledge, they would grow to the stature of men and women in Christ Jesus.

word of God, whereby we passed from death unto life, This witness is plain; and

No revival marked the period of my conversion and public profession of the same. Professors were greatly at ease in Zion, and scorn, contempt, and derision were heaped upon me. However, it affected me little, for the applause and glory of the world appeared as vanity of vanities; "All flesh seemed as

grass and the flower of grass;" but the approbation of God, as a treasure that endureth for ever. Though opposition and persecution from nearly all were com bined to discourage me; yet the Lord gave grace and strength equal to my day, and enabled me in all places, as opportunity presented, to bear the cross and testify to the truth. In the public assembly, even when there was no liberty given, feeling the Lord required it, I was frequent in my testimonies. For this, many thought me forward, but in no other way I could I have a conscience void of offence toward God and man.

In the fall of the year 1818, upon relating my experience to the Calvinistic Baptist church in Junius, they received me as a candidate for baptism; but as it was then evening, rainy, and the water two miles distant, through woods, they deferred its performance till the next covenant meeting. At the appointed time, I attended with a change of raiment; but here unexpected trials came upon me. The elder being unable to attend, in consequence of illness, a licensed preacher of Junius church, spoke to the people. I was not only disappointed, in not being baptized, but not a member of the church spoke a word of comfort to me, or even asked of my welfare. Had I not been a child, weak and inexperienced, perhaps this coldness would not have been noticed: but it touched a tender cord. I returned home much depressed in spirit, feeling as though I had no one to encourage or lead me in the way of duty. But the Lord was my helper, and God was my refuge; his arm upheld me, and he turned my sorrow into rejoicing. After this, I continued to attend their covenant meetings, in which they practised speaking to each member of the church, but gave no liberty to others. Believing the command, to be baptized, still obligatory, and feeling anxious to walk in the path of obedience, twice, at different periods, I spoke without liberty, at the close of the meeting, and renewed my request for baptism; but received no direct answer. None of the members pretended even to speak to me, and the same coldness was constantly manifested on all occasions.

The cause, I knew not; but it finally worked for my good, as it taught me, that in the Rock of ages alone should be my trust and my strength.

My parents, believing the ministry would be the great work of my life, and that a collegiate course of study was a necessary preparation, concluded to place me in a free school, as they themselves were unable to defray the consequent expense. Having heard that in Providence, R. I., provisions were made for educating the indigent, in compliance with the wishes of my parents, I left home alone at the age of thirteen, to travel on foot, among strangers, the distance of 368 miles, expecting to be absent five or six years. My heavenly Father provided me friends. Strangers, when they learned the object of my journey, were very kind, often bestowing a little money to defray my expenses: sometimes they would weep, and frequently express much surprise upon seeing a child alone, so far from home. At times, while thinking of my friends beneath the parental roof, lonely and solitary feelings weighed down my spirit; yet the Lord of Hosts was my Comforter. He dispersed the gloom, by pouring heavenly consolation into my bosom. Frequent opportunities of riding, in a great measure, relieved the tediousness of the journey. In twelve days, I reached Providence, and was kindly received by Mr. Messers, President of the College, to whom I delivered a letter from my parents. After a stay of two days, he informed me that tuition would be free, but no provision was made for board and clothing; and advised me to go to an Institution in Mass. where he thought a reception would be afforded, agreeable to my wishes. He offered me a letter of introduction to the Directors of that Institution, but the fear, that admission would not be granted, and an expectation, that equal privileges might be enjoyed nearer home, in Hamilton, N. York, where a free school was soon to be established, induced me to return homeward. My little heart was not free from trial and temptation. While travelling one evening near Albany, I came to a toll bridge, and all around being silent, the following suggestions were presented.