« PreviousContinue »
nies borne by George Fox, and his fellow-labourers, to plainness of dress and address, I contemned them in my heart, and departed from them in practice. When I was awakened to a sense of my lost and miserable estate without a Saviour, I embraced them with all acceptation in their strictest forms, and have not since deviated from them, either in sentiment or practice, not for an hour: they are of God, and will be established in the earth, when “ the crown of pride” shall be cast down, and the glory of all flesh abased. Nevertheless, let none who by the influence of education, or any other means, invariably adhere to them, glory in, or value themselves upon a bare exterior conformity to these truths; while the inner man of their heart is full of pride, self preference, and ravening after the unrighteous mammon.
13. This morning, that gracious annunciation of Jehovah was illustrated in my view, viz. “ Let the wilderness and the cities thereof lift up their voice, the villages that Kedar doth inhabit.” I attended at the quarterly meeting at Devonshire House; I was thankful for the favor: our worthy friend G. D. and others, had acceptable testimonies. After dinner, by the provoking conduct of some, who would have been by men esteemed my inferiors, and to whom I had behaved with a parental tenderness and affection, passion prevailed; and I susrered for my sin. Lord! who can bear the unkindness and ingratitude of their fellow creatures ? none but those who are armed with the same mind which was in Christ Jesus, " who when he was reviled, reviled not again ; and when he suffered, he threatened not;" but committed his cause to Him, that judgeth righteously. Our great Master and only perfect Exemplar, conversed with such publicans and sinners as the self-exalted Pharisees despised; yea, he ate and drank with them, and shall such as we are, justify ourselves, and despise others, because of some exterior evils from which we may suppose ourselves clear? I verily believe self preference, and the despising of others, are as detestable as more open immoralities, in the sight of Him, who seeth not as man; but who searcheth the heart, and in his own time, will make inquisition for secret sins.
14. This day was passed in deploring my own defects, and distance from the mark.
16. · In the evening I received my commonplace book, containing select passages of the Old and New Testament, accurately performed by J. C. In the selection of them I was wonderfully favored, considering my debilitated state of body and mind; may their testimonies prove as watchwords to the weary, and my instruction in right
19. Opening my bible accidentally on the xxxth of Jeremiah, I perused the gracious promises contained therein, with some savour and spiritual application. A quiet and peaceable day, with some internal longings after the Saviour of Zion, who
turneth her captivity “ as the streams in the south."
Favored with an unexpected increase of bodily strength. May I, by the grace of God, be enabled to lay aside all malice and envy. Lord! teach me to love my enemies, persecutors, and those who have contemptuously treated me; “ thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever. Amen." Upon the whole the day passed without much condemnation.
21. In the evening we were acceptably visited by our esteemed friends G. D. M. G. and S. R.: during a testimony delivered by G. D, and a considerable space of silence; seeking after recollection of spirit, and adherence to the great Teacher, I remembered the testimony of that deep traveller, in the interior walk, Michael de Molinos, viz. “ That the spirit of prayer might be supported, amidst a vast variety of adverse and contrary cogitations, as the desires of the heart are lifted up to Him, who knoweth the mind of the spirit.” So in internal recollection, the soul though driven about as with fierce winds, like unto the iron attracted by the magnet, returns to the centre; and an acceptable sacrifice from “a people whose land the rivers have spoiled,” is brought to the Lord of Hosts in Mount Zion.
24. How absurd it is to be discomposed at what we may esteem unkind treatment from our fellow creatures,
whose mistakes we ought to overlook, and to forgive even as we would be for
given; which is one part of what is called the golden rule; even to do by others, as we would they should do by us. None of the sons of fallen Adam can attain hereto, only by the prevalence of Him, who “is able to subdue all things unto himself,” and to bring every emotion of the mind into captivity to Christ.
25. I was with E. Millis at Martin's le Grand, and reviewed the ground on which I was early favored with a sense of the divine presence. O! that I had been faithful to the religious monitions which were then imparted; then would my peace have been as a river, and the righteousness of Christ within me,
of the sea.” Indeed my mind has been since, almost daily exercised in seeking after the Lord; and I hope in various instances, my concern has been for the good of my fellow creatures.
31. I set out once more for my residence at Hartford, with some affiance on the Shepherd of Israel, who neither slumbers' nor sleeps; but whose merciful eye guideth “ the poor of the fleck," and shineth on the seed of Jacob from between the cherubims. I was strengthened on my journey; reached home in a degree of competent strength, found my friends and assistants in health, and received fresh instances of their fidelity and attention. " What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits” and mercies multiplied more than the sand ? May I be enabled with due resignation, to receive the cup he may be pleased to hand forth, either in mercy or judgment; to " give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name," and to worship him in the beauty of holiness: I am not worthy of the least of his mercies; righteousness belongs to him, but to me there only belongs blushing and confusion of face.
ELEVENTH MONTH, 1788.
This week I have been in a state of distress and anxiety. Some have in their hearts imagined evil things against me, and with their tongues they have uttered mistakes : Lord ! enable me from my heart to forgive them, even as I would be forgiven by thee, to whom I am indebted in more than ten thousand times“ ten thousand talents ;” and in a particular manner an individual, by whom I have been treated with great ingratitude and contempt : I know that to me as a son of fallen Adam, this is impossible; but all things are possible with thee, the work is thine, and the power is thine; in this particular, may thy own works praise thee in time and eternity. Amen.
2. A quiet and peaceable day; thanks to the " Prince of Peace,” who is our peace, and from whom only our peace proceeds; according to that which is written, “ Peace I leave with
you, my peace I give unto you.”
4. In the evening I was much tendered in spirit, by hearing my wife read the stupendous