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many stripes :" these stripes I have sustained from my youth. The Lord is righteous altogether, and will not suffer sin to go unpunished; he will bring every secret work into judgment; but the mercy seat covers his judgments. Therefore 0 Lord merciful and just! cast our iniquities as into the depths of the sea; redeem the prisoner from the pit, and those who are bound in chains of affliction and iron, from the prison house ; raise “ the poor out of the dust, and lift up the beggar from the dunghill,” to “ inherit the throne of glory;" that with those who have been redeemed out of great tribulations and washed their garments in the blood of the Lamb, I may behold thy, beauty, and celebrate thy praise for ever, Amen,
22. On the whole a pretty easy and comfortable day: was visited by one who professed much sympathy with the afflicted in body or mind; a declaration easily delivered, but only experienced by such who are buried by baptism into the death of Him, who suffered, “ the just, for the unjust.”
29. This afternoon. I had a conference with a friend concerning various persons. When we observe any degree of malignity in those with whom we converse, it is necessary carefully to attend the movements of our own spirits, lest something of the same nature should arise in ourselves : hasty replies gender to bondage, and prove as galling wounds to a soul awakened to a sense of its own demerits. That charity which is from above edifies, and preserves in perfect peace; but unless the Shepherd of Israel is a wall of fire on the right hand and on the left, we are as easily overcome with the evil propensities of our natures, as the reeds are shaken with the wind.
30. There has been painfully felt, a deficiency in that peaceful acquiescence in the disposals of Infinite Wisdom, whereby the true believers in Christ, and faithful followers of the Lamb,' whithersoever he leads, are enabled to glorify God in the fires, and even to rejoice in their tribulations : but alas, how far am I from this. O 'Thou! to whom the power only belongs, arise for my help, and scatter the remains of that which is of the earth-earthy; and beget á life which may live with thee for ever : thine is the kingdom, power and glory, everlastingly. Amen.
NINTH MONTH, 1788.
3. By reason of an undeserved provocation from a person who I had esteemed in her station, turbulence and wrath was too prevalent; whereby I suffered both in body and mind : I do not know I expressed any thing but a just reprehension of the evil by which I was offended, if it had been in a peaceful mind, and the meekness of wisdom :" Christians ought to be redeemed not only from
envy and evil speaking,” but that internal wrath and clamour of spirit, which is prohibited by the gospel.
6. My spasmodic complaints have been abated : but a tremendous inquiry attends, viz. what have I rendered to the Lord for all his benefits, both corporeal and mental ? multiplied more than the hairs of my head: instead of the voice of melody, there has been a cry, because of the oppression of the true seed.
8. I was, through the course of the day, concerned to render to the Lord for his multiplied mercies, by seeking after the cup of his salvation; I sought to be preserved in peace, by “the God of peace;
» of whom are the issues from death : “ his name is holy throughout all generations ; praises wait for him in Zion; to him shall the vow be performed.
9. A pretty peaceable and quiet day; seeking to perform my vows, and feeling after power for that purpose, for the power belongs to God only; in our flesh there dwelleth neither strength nor power.
About noon I set out for Hartford, dined at Waltham-Cross, and reached Hartford much better than I expected.
The kindness of my friends and neighbours were liberally conferred, on my return once more amongst them.
23. In the evening this petition filled my spirit, viz. “O Thou preserver of men ;” thou saviour of Israel in time of trouble; be thou graciously with me through this night's life' or death! My request was answered in the multitude of the Lord's mercies,
26. I received a little degree of strength, though comparatively not bigger than a man's hand, to look towards Him, “who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not, as though they were."
27. Before I rose, I remembered with a degree of freshness, a gracious declaration in the evangelical prophet, viz. “The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he awakeneth morning by morning : he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned,” “neither turned I away back.” Our happiness arises from not turning away from the awakenings of Him, who speaketh not as man speaketh ; but whose voice is altogether lovely. A pretty quiet day, passed in a sense of my manifold desolations, and some desires after the grace which saveth. .
TENTH MONTH, 1788.
4. Grievous visions have been before me, of a final separation from the beatific vision of the Lamb, who dwells in the midst of the throne; but let the Judge of all the earth deal with me as he may see meet; I have only to lay my hand upon my mouth, for he is righteous altogether. In respect to my fellow men, unrighteousness hath not been in my heart, nor iniquity in my hands; I have sought no increase of the unrighteous mammon, but have been rather desirous that many might be partakers of the benefit : bulky and ostentatious donations have been declined, rather from the persuasion of humility than avarice: verily, these righteousnesses have their reward; but in respect to a final acceptation with the Supreme Being, they ought only to be esteemed as filthy rags : our dependance ought only to be on “ the blood of the everlasting covenant,” and interior operations of the spirit that worketh in us, both to will and to do, according to his own good pleasure.
7. For some days past, in much pain of body and debilitation of spirit, I have been through grace enabled to look to Him, who is “ the repairer of the breach, the restorer of paths ; and only able to destroy the enmity, and break down the wall of partition, by the blood of his cross. The cross of Christ ought to be considered not distinctively, but rather adjunctively, with respect to his sufferings and blood-shedding on the tree of the cross without the gates of Jerusalem; when he suffered the just for the unjust, and the operations of his light, grace and spirit within us, by which it only effectually becomes “ the power of God unto salvation.”
11. It is in my heart to leave behind me a testimony to the truth. In my youth, when dead in trespasses and sins, and walking according to the course of this world, although in my infancy educated in an esteem of those precious testimo