or a mushroom into a man, what extatick transports do they not demonstrate; and very probably if a Garrick were to recite the finest passages in Shakespeare in the finest manner, he would be received very moderately, or at most coolly admired, while the whole theatre would thunder with applause, were Pantaloon but the next moment to devour a bushel of raw carrots, with the accustomed grimaces. Let the motley hero appear, and every countenance brightens, let him overthrow Pantaloon, and every hand is in motion to applaud, and the more the beaten wretch appears to be hurt, the more an audience will enjoy it. They follow Harlequin through a dull repitition of accidents, tricks, and incongruous adventures, which are certain to produce the same conclusion; and if he overcomes the father of his runaway mistress, beats the clown, and kills the immortal magician; if the metamorphoses are sufficiently improbable, the decorations superabundantly magnificent, and the whole properly rebellious against common sense, and if it conclude with a superb and undescribable scene, the spectators are more than completely delighted. The only succedaneum that can be allowed for Harlequin, is magnificence of scenery, carried to such improbable and inconsistent heights, that a cottage will resemble a palace, and a palace the habitation of a divinity. Let the triumphal processions in a spectacle of this nature, be sufficiently numerous, the dresses glittering, the pageants gloriously improbable, and the piece will succeed pretty tolerably; but then it must be diversified with the appearance of a few animals never before seen but on sign posts; golden griffins, blue boars, white lions, and green men; accompanied by a due proportion of battles and single combats, wherein two barbarian chieftains who could never possibly have seen any instruments except a tomahawk or hatchet, begin fencing very genteelly, as if they had been accustomed to the rapier all their lives. Let every thing yield to stage effect; as in the appearance of African slaves, at a period when they were unknown in England, and the destruction of a Baron's castle with gunpowder, long before it was invented. Moreover a procession is an article of actual necessity, so that Romulus would be allowed to meet a Grecian emperor at the wedding of an English vassal, or the pope to lead the high priest of the Jews hand in hand on a visit to a king of Monomotapa long before the christian æra; which the spectators would applaud with the utmost composure and approbation, provided they were accompanied with a splendid train of soldiery, monks, and Morris dancers. In short, common sense has been beaten off theatrical ground by the Genius of folly, who contrives to maintain a firm station assisted by her troops of Harlequins, Pantaloons, unknown. animals, rope dancers, tumblers, and singers, so that I understand the managers have entered upon a scheme of considerably enlarging the theatre, for the sake of accommodating the numerous retinue of nurses and children, who attend in consequence of these new entertainments. Morality has yielded to German philosophy, and we may soon hope, by the assistance of the stage, to return to that original state of virtuous simplicity, when marriage was unknown, or at least unattended to; and dramatical composition is so completely devoted to modern principles of merit, buffoonery, and pantomine, that we must expect, if the present mode remains unaltered, that the whole nation will become modern Philosophers, Merry Andrews, or Pantaloons. The hope however still exists that when the azzling novelty of the present theatrical species, hich I am inclined to believe is their principle attraction, shall have subsided, the audience will begin to perceive their error, and return to the better taste of their ancestors, who were contented with the more simple amusements of probable adventures, natural language, and moderate action in the performers. I am willing to expect with confidence, the speedy arrival of the period, which shall restore to the stage its original, but respected embellishments; when the intention of dramatic exhibitions shall again be directed towards the improvement of private morals, and the public disposition; when amusement shall unite with instruction, to recommend virtuous principles, or eradicate vicious inclinations; and the theatre shall again become the promoter of good taste, literature, and morality. X. Y. Non aliter stupui, quam qui Jovis ignibus ictus OV. TRIST. LIB, 1. 3. THE following story, of which the principal parts are true, is in itself so severe a censuré upon the conduct of those unnatural parents, who, blinded by avarice, and a false ambition, sacrifice the happiness and affections of their children at the shrine of Mammon, that it does not require to be enforced by any further ob servations. Many years ago an English gentleman, who has gained a considerable degree of reputation in the medical world, and whom I shall introduce U |