observations. Each endeavoured to be heard above the rest; while the different persons were alternately distinguished amid the tumult proclaiming their favourite topics. "Can I bear to be used thus ?"-" My Lord Littleton speaking of this clause."-" The more I try to please her, the more. "Might we bid defince to Gallic tyranny."-" Alas! my authity ity is gone. "" I'd turn the field into a gar den, and as for the parsonage"-" Malice prepense."-"My nose indeed!"-Peace, gentlemen, I beseech you.' ""And when Tommy is "Revenge."-" Glory." "IIId. of King breeched." -"Pray, gentlemen." Edward."" Tythes." The Rules of the club were now transgressed in a thousand instances, and there was scarcely a member who did not deserve expulsion. Nor did the uproar cease here; words brought on blows; and chairs, stools, porter-pots, and every sort of utensil flew about the room in all directions. I therefore thought it high time to regain the door, which, by creeping under several tables, and after many hair-breadth escapes, I at length accomplished, and sneaked home with a full determination never again to enter a s ciety, where all are talkers, and none hearers. E. THE MINIATURE, NUMB. X. MONDAY, June 25, 1804. λάβροι ΠαΓγλωσσία, κόρακες ὡς ακρανία γαρύειον PINDAR, Olym. 2, They who with loquacious learning stored Like Crows and chattering Jays." WEST. AMONG the tribe of my acquaintances I have the misfortune to be connected with a gentleman, who among his literary brethren may pass perhaps for a profound scholar, but among the lower and less enlightened race of mortals is distinguished by the vulgar appellation of a pedant. With this person I am occasionally invited to spend the day, or as he more classically terms it audier. Being for various reasons bound to undergo this species of purgatory, I shall lay before my readers a short account of my entertainment, which together with the philosophic manners of my host is invariably the same, and remains unaltered either by time, season or circumstances. Dr. Metaphrastus is one of those who affect to know more than they have read, and have read more than they can digest or understand. In short his ostentation outweighs his industry in the same proportion as his industry does his wit. As to the common occurrences of life, it may be a matter of doubt, whether his real or pretended ignorance prevails. Society, pleasure, and conviviality are below him; with him moroseness evinces scholarship, and profound learning is increased by brutality, and to be once guilty of good manners would in his opinion be equivalent to high treason. The Doctor is a professed enemy to a connubial life, many circumstances therefore in his dress, appearance and manners occur, which might be considerably meliorated by the marriage state but at present, being so profoundly wrapped up in himself, and the contemplation of his own learning are, by him at least, totally unobserved. If indeed the question were to be asked, how the Doctor's nails became so dirty? it might be rejoined with Stella, "by scratching himself." But to omit personalities of which it is not my intention to complain, I am on my arrival received with all that haughty condescension, which but too often accompanies the great and learned towards their more ignorant inferiors. In a very short time I perceive the usual swarm of quotations issuing from the neverfailing source of his "oral rotundity," by which name he is pleased to dignify the simple mouth. To the utterance of which the extended curls his enormous periwig, add no small portion of dignity. After various preambles, the first grand attack made upon me is an interrogation with regard to my studies, not for the sake either of satisfying his own curiosity, applauding or blaming my pursuits, or pointing out more worthy objects: the ostentation of his own superiority is his only motive. Upon my answer, I am instantly assailed with a shower of unintelligible criticisms, wandering from one author to another, innumerable observations and comments; so that after several attempts to follow him through the mazes of his scholastic labyrinth in search of a glimpse of light, I am forced to sit contented amidst total darkness. But these are not my only difficulties; for his opinions, sufficiently impenetrable in their own nature, are covered, or rather concealed under so thick a -cloak of patched and pyeballed languages, that he might be supposed like Hudibras "When he did gabble To've heard three labourers of Babel, A leash of languages at once." Immediately after this a fire of metaphysics, paradoxes, abstract ideas, entities, non entities, vented with equal volubility, and in equally unintelligible jargon, fills up the interval till dinner. Upon my first visit I conceived that I should be now, in some measure at least, released from my torments, but sad experience has convinced me of the contrary. What pedant indeed, with weaker passions than those of Metaphrastus, could resist so fruitful a theme for a learned tongue? The table is the subject of an essay, the chair of a comment, and every dish is productive of a discussion in proportion to its size and merits. Athenæus, Grævius, and Gronovius are quoted without cessation or mercy. After a long dissertation on the digo, the μ and the triclinia, we at last sit down. But the soup grows cold during a description of the genuine Lacedæmonian broth, and a whole boat |