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power to compute. Of the ten hundred millions of human beings on the earth, but two hundred millions are comprised within christendom; of these, you must be aware, not more than one sixteenth part are saved-for you must be convinced, from a survey of society around you, that not more than one out of sixteen are experimentally and savingly christians. One sixteenth part of two hundred millions is twelve and a half millions; and this (on the most liberal allowance) is the proportion of nominal christians saved each twenty-five years, and one hundred and eightyseven and a half millions is the proportion damned !
" As to the Jewish, Mahometan, and pagan populations, making eight hundred millions, it is by a large majority of christians denied that any are saved—but by the minority it is supposed, that salvation is possible to such of these classes as make a right improvement of the advantages which they possess. Let us then allow, a thirty-second part of these will get to heaven-a proportion equal to one half of those saved within christendom. A thirtysecond part of eight hundred millions, is twenty-five millions ; and this is the ratio which get to heaven, of these classes, every twenty-five years : seven hundred and seventy-five millions are the ratio which sink to hell! Now add together the numbers saved during each generation out of the entire human race-they amount to thirty-seven and a half millions; and the aggregate of the numbers damned within the same time is nine hundred and sixty-two and a half millions !
“ Your world, Mr. Tub, taking the Mosaic history to be true, and following the popular chronology, has subsisted for six thousand years, which, divided by twenty-five, (the estimated length of a generation,) gives two hundred and forty as the number of generations of man since time began; and (allowing the relative numbers of the redeemed and the lost to have been from the first what they now are) then, my dear Triptolemus, since time begun, the portals of hell have opened to two hundred and forty times nine hundred and sixty-two and a half millions of human souls !”
“ Mr. Paddle, you astound me !" exclaimed elder Tub.
“ Pardon me," exclaimed the goblin, “ I am not done yet. I have, in my computation, been far more liberal on the side of salvation than facts will warrant-I have allowed the same proportion
to have gone to heaven before the introduction christianity, as since-whereas the whole antediluvian world that were drowned by the flood, went to hell en masse ! The gates of perdition swung open, on that occasion, to their utmost width, and as the bard Milton has sung, grated harsh thunder.' Moreover, all the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah were damned, as were also the populations of Babylon, Idumea, Tyre, Sidon, Capernaumthe first born of Egypt which perished in the last plague-the hundred and eighty thousand of Senacherib's army which the angel of the Lord destroyed in one night-the million and a half of Jews slain during the siege of Jerusalem, etc., etc. In full ten thousand instances, in the progress of time, have numerous masses of undying spirits thus sunk down to the realm of the damned—but the world of bliss meanwhile has received no such accessions ! In addition, we must take into the account, that full twelve centuries of almost utter moral darkness intervened between the primitive ages of the church and the time of the reformation; and during all this season the successive generations of mankind were consigned, with but here and there an exception, to everlasting woe! He, he! I have oft been told in hell, (by old inhabitants of the place,) of the ecstacies occasioned there from time to time by these numerous arrivals these are the festival seasons of the world below. He, he, he! they are regarded as most signal triumphs over the plans and efforts of heaven. Our sovereign prince, Beelzebub, issues his mandate for a special illumination in hell on these occasions, for we have the material for illumination in great plenty, you are aware, and all at the cost of our Omnipotent foe. He, he, he, he! Our prince has hopes of an entire and total victory eventually!"
“ You overwhelm me, Mr. Paddle!!!" again interrupted the elder
· Patience, my good Triptolemus,” resumed the goblin, "your conceptions are not yet extended to the hundred millionth part of hell's capacity ; we have been confining our attention to the accessions to its population from this earth alone; but we are to remember that there was a numerous lapse from heaven before the earth was formed : it would astonish you, Mr. Tub, to be told of the vast numbers comprised in that revolt. Well, subsequent to this, in the four thousandth year of the world, (as you may read
in your sacred oracles, Revelation xii.-your bible is more read in hell than on earth,) there was another commotion in heaven, which resulted in the casting out from thence one third part of the stars, or angels! Now allowing an equal proportion to have been ejected in the first revolt, heaven, you perceive, must contain but a small moiety of its original inhabitants !-and such being the case with regard to that place, which is the immediate seat of Jehovah's throne, how many myriads upon myriads of immortal intelligences, think you, have fallen from the unnumbered spheres which revolve in the immensity of space ?"
“ Hold! Mr. Paddle !” exclaimed the utterly bewildered Mr. Tub; “I sink beneath the conception! The sun itself, which in all probability is an inhabited sphere, is a million times larger than our earth, and all the stars are held to be suns of equal magnitude, and the centre to separate systems of worlds! It does, indeed, seem probable also, that these are all peopled with intelligent beings, equally responsible, and liable to incur a doom of endless ruin as ourselves! Gracious God! What must indeed be the capacity of that fiery world of despair, which is the receptacle for these innumerable lapsed spirits !".
“ What must it be, sure enough? Why I've already told you, Mr. Tub, he, he, he!” rejoined the grinning fiend, “that your earth is a mere hazelnut in comparison to it. Have you never read the description of it in your oracles ? .For Tophet is ordained of old; yea, for the king it is prepared : he hath made it deep and large; the pile thereof is fire and much wood; the breath of the Lord, like a stream of brimstone, doth kindle it.' Why the capacity of hell is such, that the Syracusan mathematician, Archimedes, has been employed in an active survey of it ever since his arrival there ; and I heard him say, a little time since, that as many more thousands of years must elapse ere his survey is completed—for, unlike the earth, and the other planetary bodies, hell cannot be measured by astronomical observations. The Almighty architect of the world of suffering knew full well, from the first, for how many myriads of his offspring he was preparing this burning abode, and he extended its domain accordingly.
“ Blind Homer has described Thebes as containing a hundred gates. Hell has more than a hundred thousand. You will readily believe this, Mr. Tub, when you reflect on the number and the freVol. 1.-2 F
quency of the arrivals to it from earth alone. Let me see it is computed that the generations of man die, at the rate of one to every second of time !-sixty every minute !-three thousand six hundred every hour!-eighty-six thousand four hundred every twenty-four hours ! Conceive, my dear Triptolemus, with what velocity the gates of woe must swing upon their hinges, to give admission to spirits at this rapid rate! If hell had but one portal, the arrivals to it from this earth alone would keep it opening and shutting with the speed of light!
“I am much amused betimes by the sage computations of some of your modern theologians, who, finding the wholesome and venerable dogma of endless damnation to be getting out of fashion among men, employ their ingenuity in so softening it, as to bring it within the pale of benevolence. He, he, he ! They try to make out that the number of the lost, as compared with that of the saved of mankind, will be but as the proportion of penitentiary convicts to the bulk of society! He, he! They come, by a marvellously curious process of enumeration, to this result.
• First (say they) all who die in infancy, are saved; then, all the heathen who improve their natural advantages aright; then again, there is to come a Millennium, a thousand years' reign on the earth, during which, all are to be righteous'—and this thousand years may mean-he, he, he !-mark, it may mean, three hundred and sixtyfive thousand times the term which is said! And so, by this hocus pocus process of computation, it is made out, that the number of the saved will greatly exceed that of the lost! He, he! how stupidly blind you mortals are when you have a party purpose to effect! Why! though a goblin of the pit, I can quote you scripture to better purpose. Now hear the following, and judge whether all mankind are to be righteous during the Millennium. when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison, and shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them together to battle; the number of whom is as the sand of the sea. And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city : and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them.'
“ You see, then, my dear Triptolemus, that even at that boasted era of Messiah's reign, a multitude, equalling in number the sands
of the sea, are to be added to the population of hell. He, he, he, he! This will be another jubilee for us. Why, the elect in your younger days, Mr. Tub, would have scouted as an impious heresy the idea, that more will be saved than damned : it was the essence of their comfort to believe, that heaven is a snug little walled city, with jasper gates, and streets of gold, where they should have nothing to do, to all eternity, but to sit on great benches and sing psalms; and the company of the place was to be a number
so fixed and definite as to be incapable of increase or diminution. Great comfort took they, as you, Mr. Tub, may remember, in singing that metrical paraphrase of the text about the broad and narrow way:
• Broad is the road that leads to death,
And thousands flock together there;
With here and there a traveler.' It was one saved, to a thousand damned, in those good old times; but now-he, he, he !-the orthodoxy of your day is heels uppermost, Mr. Tub! In times' not long past it was thought, that not a Jew, nor a Mahometan, nor a pagan, nor an infant, (except of elect parents, nor then, except baptized,) nor a unitarian, nor socinian, nor methodist, nor papist, would get to heaven! But of late-he, he, he !-either heaven has grown larger, or the gatekeeper has become remiss in examining the passports ; for by a late census of the place, these wise-heads have discovered, that its inhabitants outnumber those of hell, by as much as the honest part of the earth's com mmunity outnumber the criminal portion in the penitentiaries !!! He, he, he, he !"
How long the impious goblin, Paddle, would have continued his profane cachinnations, had no interruption occurred, I take it not on me to say ; but Dorothy Tub, finding no ease to her corns and rheumatiz while alone in her cold bed, (it's a pity she had'nt thought of a warming pan!) came down to try the virtues of the fire and some yarb tea. To the utter astonishment of the elder, her chair was vacant, and in the precise situation in which she had left it about an hour before! Mr. Paddle had made his exitwhether
up the chimney, or, like a fairy queen of old, through the keyhole or whether he had dissolved himself into mist, as upon a former occasion, (for the elder did fancy that the atmosphere of