a Sir And. 'Slight! will you make an ass o' me? his murderer : He does obey every point of the Fab. I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the letter that I dropped to betray him. He does smile caths of judgment and reason. his face into more lines than are in the new map, Sir To. And they have been grand jury-men, since with the augmentation of the Indies: you have before Noah was a sailor. not seen such a thing as 'tis; I can hardly forbear Fab. She did show favour to the youth in your hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike sight, only to exasperate you, to awake your dor him; if she do, he'll smile, and take't for a great mouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brim- favour. stone in your liver : You should then have accosted Sir To. Come, bring us, bring us where he is. her; and with some excellent jests, fire-new from [Exeunt. the mint, you should have banged the youth into SCENE III. - A Street. dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and this was baulked: the double guilt of this opportu Enter ANTON10 and SEBASTIAN. nity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed Seb. I would not by my will have troubled you ; into the north of my lady's opinion; where you will But, since you make your pleasure of your pains, hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, unless I will no further chide you. you do redeem it by some laudable attempt, either Ant. I could not stay behind you ; my desire, of valour, or policy. More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth ; Sir And. And't be any way, it must be with va- And not all love to see you, (though so much, lour; for policy I hate; I had as lief be a Brownist, As might have drawn one to a longer voyage,) as a politician. But jealousy what might befall your travel, Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger, the basis of valour. Challenge me the count's Unguided, and unfriended, often prove youth to fight with him ; hurt him in eleven places ; Rough and unhospitable: My willing love, my niece shall take note of it: and assure thyself, The rather by these arguments of fear, there is no love-broker in the world can more pre- Set forth in your pursuit. vail in man's commendation with woman, than re- Seb. My kind Antonio, port of valour. I can no other answer make, but, thanks, Fab. There is no way but this, sir Andrew. And thanks, and ever thanks : Often good turns Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay: to him? But, were my worth, as is my conscience, firm, Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst You should find better dealing. What's to do? and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be elo- Shall we go see the reliques of this town? quent and full of invention; taunt him with the Ant. To-morrow, sir; best, first, go see your licence of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, it lodging. shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in Seb. I am not weary, and 'tis long to night ; thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big I pray you let us satify our eyes enough for the bed of Ware in England, set 'em With the memorials, and the things of fame, down; go about it. Let there be gall enough in That do renown this city. thy ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no Ant. 'Would, you'd pardon me; matter : About it: 1 do not without danger walk these streets : Sir And. Where shall I find you? Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the count his gallies, Sir To. We'll call thee at the cubiculo: Go. I did some service; of such note, indeed, [Exit Sir Andrew. That, were I ta’en here, it would scarce be answer'd Fab. This is a dear manakin to you, sir Toby. Seb. Belike, you slew great number of his people Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad; some two Ant. The offence is not of such a bloody nature, thousand strong, or so. Albeit the quality of the time, and quarrel, Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him : but Might well have given us bloody argument. you'll not deliver it. It might have since been answer’d in repaying Sir To. Never trust me then; and by all means What we took from them ; which, for traffick's sake, sur on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and Most of our city did : only myself stood out: wainropes cannot hail them together. For Andrew, For which, if I be lapsed in this place, if he were opened, and you find so much blood in I shall pay dear. his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the Seb. Do not then walk too open. rest of the anatomy. Ant. It doth not fit me. Huld, sir, here's iny Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his purse; visage no great presage of cruelty. In the south suburbs, at the Elephant, Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet, Whiles you beguile the time, and feed your knowSir To. Look where the youngest wren of nine ledge, With viewing of the town; there shall you have me Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh Seb. Why I your purse? yourselves into stitches, follow me: yon' gull Mal- Ant. Haply, your eye shall light upon some toy volio is turned heathen, a very renegado; for there You have desire to purchase ; and your store, is no Christian, that means to be saved by believing I think, is not for idle markets, sir. rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages of Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer, and leave you fur grossness. He's in yellow stockings. An hour. Sir To. And cross-gartered ? Ant. To the Elephant.Mar. Most villainously; like a pedant that keeps Seb. I do remember. school i' the church. - I have dogged him, like Ereunt. comes. a Where's my How now, please all. SCENE IV. - Olivia's Garden. Oli. I'll come to him. [Erit Servant.) Gooi Maria, let this fellow be looked to. cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a Oli. I have sent after him. He says special care of him; I would not have him misHow shall I feast him ? what bestow on him ? carry for the half of my dowry. For youth is bought more oft, than begg'd, or bor (Ereunt Olivia and Maria. row'd. Mal. Oh, ho! do you come near me now? no I speak too loud. worse man than sir Toby to look to me? This Where is Malvolio ? — he is sad, and civil, concurs directly with the letter : she sends him on And suits well for a servant with my fortunes; purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him ; foi Where is Malvolio? she incites me to that in the letter. Cast thy humMar. He's coming, madam; ble slough, says she ; - be opposite with a kinsman, But in strange manner. He is sure possess'd. surly with servants, - let thy tongue tang with Oli. Why, what's the matter? does he rave? arguments of state, – put thyself into the trick of Mar. No, madam, singularity ; and, consequently, sets down the He does nothing but smile : your ladyship manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a Were best have guard about you, if he come ; slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and For, sure, the man is tainted in his wits. so forth. I have limed her ; but it is Jove's doing, Oli. Go call him hither. I'm as mad as he, and Jove make me thankful! And, when she If sad and merry madness equal be. went away now, Let this fellow be looked to : Fe'ow! Enter MalvoLIO. not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow, Why, every thing adheres together; that no dram Malvolio? of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, Mal. Sweet lady, ho, ho. (Smiles fantastically. no incredulous or unsafe circumstance, What Oli. Smil'st thou ? can be said ? Nothing, that can be, can come I sent for thee upon a sad occasion. between me and the full prospect of my hopes, Mal. Sad, lady? I could be sad : This does make Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to some obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; be thanked. But what of that, it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is : Please one, and Re-enter Maria, with Sir Toby Belch and FABIAN. Oli. Why, how dost thou man? what is the Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sancmatter with thee? tity? If all the devils in hell be drawn in little, Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in and Legion himself possessed him, yet I'll speak w my legs: It did come to his hands, and commands him. shall be executed, I think, we do know the sweet Fab. Here he is, here he is : - How is't with you, Roman hand sir? how is't with you, man ? Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? Mal. Go off'; I discard you ; let me enjoy my Mal. To bed ? ay, sweet-heart; and I'll come private ; go off. to thee. Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, him! did not I tell you ? — Sir Toby, my lady prays and kiss thy hand so oft ? you to have a care of him. Mar. How do you, Malvolio ? Mal. Ah, ah does she so? Mal. At your request? Yes; Nightingales an- Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal swer daws. gently with him; let me alone. Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous bold- Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man! defy ness before my lady? the devil : consider, he's an enemy to mankind. Mal. Be not afraid of greatness : — 'twas well writ. Mal. Do you know what you say? Oli. What meanest thou by that, Malvolio? Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, low he Mal. Some are born great, takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched ! Oli. Ha ? Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman. Mal. Some achieve greatness, Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow Oli. What say'st thou? morning, if I live. My lady would not lose him Mal. And some have greatness thrust upon them. for more than I'll say. Oli. Heaven restore thee ! Mal. How now, mistress? Mal. Remembor, who commended thy yellow Mar. O lord ! stockings ; Sir To. Pr’ythee, hold thy peace; this is not the Oli. Thy yellow stockings? way: Do you not see, you move him ? let me alone Mal. And wished to see thee cross-gartered. with him. Oli. Cross-gartered? Fab. No way but gentleness; gently, gently, Mal. Go to: thou art made, if thou desirest tu be the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used. SO; Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock ? how lost Oli. Am I made ? thou, chuck? Mal. If not, let me see thee a servant still. Mal. Sir? Oli. Why, this is very midsummer madness. Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Saian : Enter Servant. Hang him, foul collier ! der. Madam, the young gentleman of the count Mar. Get him to say his prayers; good sir Toby: Orsino's is returned; I could hardly entreat him get him to pray. hask: he attends your ladyship's pleasure. Mal. My prayers, uning ? How do you, Mar. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of god challenge by word of mouth; set upon Ague-cheek a liness notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman, Mal. Go, hang yourselves all ! you are idle shal-(as, I know his youth will aptly receive it,) into a low things: I am not of your element; you shall most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and imknow more hereafter. (Exit. petuosity. This will so fright them both, that they Sir To. Is't possible ? will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices. Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, I Enter OLIVIA and VIOLA. vuld condemn it as an improbable fiction. Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them uf the device, man. way, till he take leave, and presently after him. Mar. Nay, pursue him now ; lest the device take Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horair, and taint. rid message for a challenge. Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed. (Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and MARIA. Mar. The house will be the quieter. Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone, Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room, And laid mine honour too unchary out: and bound. My niece is already in the belief that There's something in me, that reproves my fault; he is mad; we may carry it thus, for our pleasure, But such a headstrong potent fault it is, and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of That it but mocks reproof. breath, prompt us to have mercy on him : at which Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passion time, we will bring the device to the bar, and crown bears, thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see. Go on my master's griefs. Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture; Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you : Fab. More matter for a May morning. And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow. Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; I war- What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny; rant, there's vinegar and pepper in't. That honour, sav’d, may upon asking give ? Fab. Is't so sawcy? Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: do but read. master. Sir To. Give me. [reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that Ert, thou art but a scurvy fellow. Which I have given to you? Fab. Good, and valiant. Vio I will acquit you. Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire net in thy mind, Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: Fare thee well; why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for’t. A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. (Exit. Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law. Re-enter Sir Toby Belch and FABIAN. Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my Sir To. Gentleman, God save thee. sight she uses thee kindly : but thou liest in thy throat, Vio. And you, sir. that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less. of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home; where if I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, it be thy chance to kill me, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end: Fab. Good. dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain. thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Fab. Still you keep o'the windy side of the law: Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath Good. any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free Sir To. Fare thee well; And God have mercy upon and clear from any image of offence done to any man. one of our souls ! He may have mercy upon mine ; Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you : but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy, you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. 'what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs can man withal. not : I'll give't him. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he is Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked now in some commerce with my lady, and will by rapier, and on carpet consideration ; but he is a and by depart. devil in private brawl; souls and bodies hath he Sir To Go, sir Andrew ; scout me for him at the divorced three ; and his incensement at this moment corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff': so soon is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is his swear horrible ; for it comes to pass oft, that a ter- word; give't, or take't. rible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged Vio. I will return again into the house, and desire off, gives manhood more approbation than ever some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have proof itself would have earned him. Away. heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels pur Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. (Erit. posely on others, to taste their valour : belike, this Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter : for the is a man of that quirk. behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out be of good capacity and breeding; his employment of a very competent injury; therefore, get you on, between his lord and my niece confirms no less; and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, house, unless you undertake that with me, which will breed no terror in the youth, he will find it with as much safety you might answer him : therecomes from a clodpole But, sir, I will deliver his fore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddla man : you must, that's curtain, or forswear to wear iron Ant. Put up your sword;- If this young entla about you. Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, Have done offence, I take the fault on me; du me this courteous office, as to know of the knight If you offend him, I for him defy you. [Drawing. what my offence to him is; it is something of my Sir To. You, sir ? why what are you? negligence, nothing of my purpose. Ant. One, sir, that for his love dares yet av ingre Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you Than you have heard him brag to you ne will. by this gentleman till my return. (Erit Sir Toby. Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? you. [Draws Fab. I know, the knight is incensed against you, Enter two Officers. even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more. Fab. O good sir Toby, hold; here come me Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? officers. Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read Sir To. I'll be with you anon. [To Antonio. him by his form, as you are like to find him in the Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you please. proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most [To Sir ANDREW. skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could Sir And. Marry, will I, sir ;-and, for that I possibly have found in any part of Illyria : Will promised you, I'll be as good as my word : He will you walk towards him? I will make your peace bear you easily, and reins well. with him, if I can. 1 0ff. This is the man; do thy office. l'io. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am 2 of. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir Of count Orsino. knight : I care not who knows so much of my Ant. You do mistake me, sir ; mettle. [Ereunt. 1 Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. Re-enter Sir Toby, with Sir ANDREW. Take him away; he knows, I know him well. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not Ant. I must obey:- This comes with seeking you; seer, such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, But there's no remedy ; I shall answer it. scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in, with What will you do? Now my necessity such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on Makes me to ask you for my purse : It grieves me the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet bit Much more, for what I cannot do for you, the ground they step on : They say, he has been Than what befalls myself. You stand amaz'd ; fencer to the Sophy. But be of comfort. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified : Fa- Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. bian can scarce hold him yonder. Vio. What money, sir ? Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him And, part, being prompted by your present uvuule, damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let Out of my lean and low ability the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, gray I'll lend you something: my having is not much; Capilet. I'll make division of my present with you : Sir To. I'll make the motion : Stand here, make Hold, there is half my coffer. a good show on't; this shall end without the perdi- Art. Will you deny me now? tion of souls : Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as Is't possible, that my deserts to you | Aside. Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Lest that it make me so unsound a man, As to upbraid you with those kindnesses Vio. I know of none; Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and Nor know I you by voice. or any feature : pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. I hate ingratitude more in a man, Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, you for his oath sake : marry, he hath better be- Or any taint of vice, whose strong corruption thought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now Inhabits our frail blood. scarce to be worth talking off : therefore draw, for Ant. O heavens themselves! the supportance of his vow ; he protests, he will not 2 Off. Come, sir, I pray you, go. Ani. Let me speak a little. This youth that you Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing would see here, make me tell them how much I lack of a man. I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death ; (Aside. Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love, Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. And to his image, which methought did promise Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's no remedy ; | Most venerable worth, did I devotion. the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one 1 Odi. What's that to us? The time goes by bout with you : he cannot by the duello avoid it; away: but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a Ant. But, Ó, how vile an idol proves this god! soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on : to't. Thou hast, Sebastian, done good teature xhame.Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath. [Draws. In nature there's no blemish, but the mind; None can be call'd deforix'd, but the unkind. Enter ANTONIO. Virtue is beauty ; but the beauteous evil V'io. I do assure you 'tis against iny will. (Draws. Are empty truuks, o'ertourish'd by the devil. I ride you. hurt you. off. The man grows mad; away with him. For him I imitate: 0. if it prove, Come, come, sir. Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love![Erit. Ant. Lead me .. Sir To. A very dishonest palıry boy, and more a [Exeunt Officers with ANTONIO. | coward than a harc: his dishonesty appears in leaving l'io. Methinks, his words do from such passion | his friend here in necessity, and denying him; and fly, for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Wat he believes himself; so do not I. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious l'rove true, imagination, O, prove true, in it. That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you! Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat him. Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw we'll whisper o'er a couple or two of most sage saws. thy sword. Vio. He nam'd Sebastian ; I my brother know Sir And. An I do not, (Exit. Yet living in my glass; even such, and so, Fab. Comc, let's see the event. In favour was my brother; and he went Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be nothing Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, yet. (Ereunt. ACT IV. SCENE I. - The Street before Olivia s House. If thou dar’st tempt me further, draw thy sword. Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown. (Draws. Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have an Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. sent for you? [Draws. Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow : Enter Olivia. Let me be clear of thec. Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know Oli. Hold, Toby ; on thy life, I charge thee, hold. you ; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid Sir To. Madam ? you come speak with her; nor your name is not Oli. Will it be ever thus ? Ungracious wretch, master Cesario ; nor this is not my nose neither. - Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves, Nothing, that is so, is so. Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my Seb. I pr’ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else · sight! Thou know'st not me. Be not offended, dear Cesario ! Clo. Vent my folly! he has heard that word of Rudesby, be gone! — I pr’ythee, gentle friend, some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent (Ereunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and FABIAX. my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway will prove a cockney. - I pr’ythee now, ungird thy In this uncivil and unjust extent strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady; Against thy peace. Go with me to my house ; Shall I vent to her, that thou art corning ? And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks Seb. I pr’ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me; This rufian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby There's money for thee ; if you tarry longer, May'st smile at this : thou shalt not choose but go; I shall give worse payment. Do not deny: Beshrew his soul for me, Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand:– He started one poor heart of mine in thee. These wise men, that give fools money, get them- Seb. What relish is in this ? how runs the stream? selves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Or I am mad, or else this is a dream : Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep; Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir Toby, and Fabian. If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep! Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again ? there's Oli. Nay, come, I pr’ythee : 'Would thou’dst be [Striking Sebastian. rul’d by me? Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there : Seb. Madam, I will. Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir ANDREW. O, say so, and so be! Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er (Exeunt. the house. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight : I would SCENE II. - A Room in Olivia's House. not be in some of your coats for two-pence. Enter Maria and Clown. [Erit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this [Holding SEBASTIAN. beard ; make him believe thou art sir Topas the Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way curate ; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the whilst. to work with him ; I'll have an action of battery [Exit Maria. against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever Seo. Let go thy hand. dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, to become the function well : nor lean enough to my young soldier, put up your iron : you are well be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest Hesherd; come on. man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to seb. I will be free from thee. What wouldst say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The come thou now? petitors enter. a : for you. Oli. |