. a Pist. Hope is a curtail dog in some affairs : Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? Sir John affects thy wife. Page. Hang 'em, slaves; I do not thiuk the Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young. knight would offer it: but these that accuse him in Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich and his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his dispoor, carded men: very rogues, now they be out of service. Both young and old, one with another, Ford; Ford. Were they his men ? He loves thy gally-mawfry; Ford, perpend. Page. Marry, were they. Ford. Love my wife ? Ford. I like it never the better for that. — Does Pist. With liver burning hot: Prevent, or go thou, he lie at the Garter? Like sir Actæon he, with Ring-wood at thy heels:- Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend 0, odious is the name ! this voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose Ford. What name, sir ? to him ; and what he gets of her more than sharp Pest. The horn, I say: Farewell. words, let it lie on my head. Take heed ; have open eye; for thieves do foot by Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would night : be loth to turn them together : A man may be too Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo birds do confident: I would have nothing lie on my head : sing. I cannot be thus satisfied. Away, sir corporal Nym. Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Gartur Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. [Erit Pistol comes : there is either liquor in his pate, or money Ford. I will be vatient; I will find out this. in his purse, when he looks so merrily. - How now, Num. And this is true; (to Page.] I like not the mine host ? bumour of lying. He hath wronged me in some humours: I should have borne the humoured letter Enter Host and Shallow. to her ; but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon Host. How now, bully-rook! thou’rt a gentlemy necessity. He loves your wife; there's the short man: cavalero-justice, I say, and the long. My name is corporal Nym; I speak, Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow. - Good even, and I avouch. 'Í'is true :--my name is Nym, and and twenty, good master Page! Master Page, will Falstaff loves your wife. — Adieu! I love not the you go with us? we have sport in hand. humour of bread and cheese ; and there's the hu- Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him, bullymour of it. Adieu. (Exit Nym. rook. Page. The humour of it, quoth ’a! here's a fellow Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between frights humour out of his wits. sir Hugh the Welch priest, and Caius the French Ford. I will seek out Falstaff. doctor. Puge. I never heard such a drawling, affecting Ford. Good mine host o'the Garter, a word with rogue. you. Ford. If I do find it, well. Host. What say’st thou, bully-rook ? Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though [They go aside. the priest o' the town commended him for a true Shal. Will you (to Page.] go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their Ford. 'Twas a good sensible fellow : Well. weapons; and, I think, he hath appointed them Page. How now, Meg? contrary places : for, believe me, I hear, the parson Mrs. Page. Whither go you, George?— Hark is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport you. shall be. Mrs. Ford. How now, sweet Frank ? why art Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my thou melancholy? guest-cavalier ? Ford. I melancholy! I am not melancholy. - Ford. None, I protest : but I'll give you a pottle Get you home, go. of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell Mrs. Ford. 'Faith, thou hast some crotchets in him, my name is Brook; only for a jest. thy head now. - Will you go, mistress Page? Host. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress and Mrs. Page. Have with you. You'll come to regress; said I well ? and thy name shall be Brook: dinner, George ? Look, who comes yonder : she It is a merry knight. — Will you go on, hearts? s!all be our messenger to this paltry knight. Shal. Have with you, mine host. (Aside to Mrs. FORD. Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier. Enter Mrs. QUICKLY. Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more : In Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her : she'll these times you stand on distance, your passes, stocfit it. cadoes, and I know not what : 'tis the heart, master Mrs. Page. You are come to see my daughter Page ; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, Anne? with my long sword, I would have made you four Quick. Ay, forsooth; And, I pray, how does tall fellows skip like rats. good mistress Anne? Host. Here, boys, here, here ! shall we wag ? Mrs. Page. Go in with us, and see; we have an Page. Have with you :- I had rather hear them hour's talk with you. scold than fight. (Ereunt Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Mrs. [Ereunt Host, Shallow, and Page. QUICKLY. Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands Page. How now, master Ford ? so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off Ford. You heard what this knave told me; did my opinion so easily : She was in his company at you not? Page's house; and, what they made there, I know loge. Yes ; And you heard what the other told Well, I will look further into't: and I have me? nan. a disguise to sound Falstaff: If I find her honest, I not. hatch, go. lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of kell bestowed. [Erit. it; you have brought her int such a canaries, as 'uis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when SCENE II. - A Room in the Garter Inn. the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, Enter FALSTAFF and Pistol. and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; I Fal. I will not lend thee a penny. warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, Pist. Why, then the world's mine oyster, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly, (all musk) and Which I with sword will open. so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and I will retort the sun in equipage. in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you of the best, and the fairest, that would have won should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated any woman's heart ; and, I warrant you, they could upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and never get an eye-wink of her. — I had myself twenty your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you had looked angels given me this morning ; but I defy all anthrough the grate, like a geminy of baboons. I am gels, (in any such sort, as they say,) but in the way damned in hell, for swearing to gentlemen my of honesty: — and, I warrant you, they could never friends, you were good soldiers, and tall fellows: get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest and when mistress Bridget lost the handle of her of them all : and yet there has been earls, nay fan, I took’t upon mine honour, thou hadst it not. which is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all Pist. Didst thou not share ? hadst thou not fif- is one with her. teen pence? Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason: Think'st thou she Mercury. l'll endanger my soul gratis ? At a word, hang no Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter ; for more about me, I am no gibbet for you:- go. — A the which she thanks you a thousand times : and short knife and a throng;- - to your manor of Pickt- she gives you to notify, that her husband will be ab - You'll not bear a letter for me, you sence from his house between ten and eleven. rogue ! You stand upon your honour ! — Why, Fal. Ten and eleven? thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come do, to keep the terms of my honour precise. I, I, and see the picture, she says, that you wot of ;I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of heaven on master Ford, her husband, will be from home. the left hand, and hiding mine honour in my neces- Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him ; sity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch ; and he's a very jealousy man: she leads a very frampold yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat- life with him, good heart. 3-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your Fal. Ten and eleven : Woman, commend me tu bull-baiting oaths, under the shelter of your honour ! her; I will not fail her. You will not do it, you? Quick. Why you say well : But I have another Pist. I do relent; What would'st thou more of messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath her man ? hearty commendations to you too; — and let me tell Enter Robin. you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss you morning Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er Fal. Let her approach. be the other : and she bade me tell your worship, that her husband is seldom from home; but, she Enter Mistress Quickly. hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a Quick. Give your worship good-morrow. woman so dote upon a man ; surely, I think you 1 Fal. Good-morrow, good wife. have charms, la; yes, in truth. Quick. Not so, an't please your worship. Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction Fal. Go maid, then. of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Quick. I'll be sworn; as my mother was, the first Quick. Blessing on your heart for't! hour I was born. Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this : has Ford's Fal. I do believe the swearer : What with me? wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other hon Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or they love me? two? Quick. That were a jest, indeed! — they have not Fal. Two thousand, fair woman : and I'll vouch- so little grace, I hope : — that were a trick, indeed! safe thee the hearing. But mistress Page would desire you to send her Quick. There is one mistress Ford, sir; I pray, your little page, of all loves; her husband has a come a little nearer this ways :: · I myself dwell marvellous infection to the little page: and, truly, with master doctor Caius. master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Fal. Well, on : Mistress Ford, you say, Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what Quick. Your worship says very true : she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to your worship, come a little nearer this ways. bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears; -mine own will; and, truly, she deserves it: for if there be a people, mine own people. kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send Quick. Are they so ? Heaven bless them, and her your page; no remedy. make them his servants ! Fal. Why, I will. Fal. Well : Mistress Ford ; what of her ? Quick. Nay, but do so then . and, look you, he Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, may come and go between you both; and, in any lord ! your worship's a wanton : Well, heaven for- case, have a nav-word, that you may know one anzive you, and all of us, I pray! other's mind, and the boy never need to understand Fal. Mistress Ford ; come, mistress Ford. any thing; for 'tis not good that children should I pray you all. know any wickedness : old folks, you know, have Fal. Well, sir. discretion, as they say, and know the world. Ford. I have long loved her, and I protest to Kal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both: you, bestowed much on her; followed her with a there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. — Boy, go doting observance; engrossed opportunities to meet along with this woman. — This news distracts me! her ; fee'd every slight occasion, that could but nig [Ereunt Quickly and Robin. gardiy give me sight of her; not only bought many Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers : presents to give her, but have given largely to Clap on more sails ; pursue, up with your fights; many, to know what she would have given: briefly, Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! I have pursued her, as love hath pursued me; which [Erit Pistol. hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatFal. Say'st thou so, old Jack ? go thy ways; I'll soever I have merited, either in my mind, or in make more of thy old body than I have done. Will my means, meed, I am sure, I have received none; they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the ex- unless experience be a jewel ; that I have purpence of so much money, be now a gainer? Good chased at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me body, I thank thee: Let them say, 'tis grosslv done; to say this : so it be fairly done, no matter. Love like a shadow flies, when substance love prursues ; Enter BARDOLPH. Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues. Bard. Sir John, there's one master Brook below Fal. Have you received no promise of satisfacwould fain speak with you, and be acquainted with tion at her hands? you; and hath sent your worship a morning's Ford. Never. draught of sack. Fal. Have you importuned her to such a purFal. Brook, is his name? pose? Bard. Ay, sir. Ford. Never. Fal. Call him in; [Exit BARDOLPH.] Such Fal. Of what quality was your love then ? Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such li- Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another man's quor. Ah! ha! mistress Ford and mistress Page, ground; so that I have lost my edifice, by mistakhave I encompassed you ? go to; via ! 1 ing the place where I erected it. Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to Re-enter BARDOLPH, with Ford disgweed. me ? Ford. Bless you, sir. Ford. When I have told you that, I have told Fal. And you, sir : Would you speak with me? Some say, that, though she appear honest Ford. I make bold, to press with so little prepar- to me, yet, in other places, she enlargeth her mirth ation upon you. so far, that there is shrewd construction made of Pal. You're welcome; What's your will? Give her. Now, sir John, here is the heart of my purus leave, drawer. [Erit BARDOLPH. pose : You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent admirable discourse, of great admittance, authenmuch; my name is Brook. tick in your place and person, generally allowed Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaint- for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preance of you. parations. Ford. Good sir John, I sue for yours : not to Fal. O, sir! charge you ; for I must let you understand, I think Ford. Believe it, for you know it :- There is myself in better plight for a lender than you are : money; spend it, spend it; spend more ; spend all the which hath something emboldened me to this I have; only give me so much of your time in exunseasoned intrusion: for they say, if money go be-change of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the hofore, all ways do lie open. nesty of this Ford's wife : use your art of wooing, Fal. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. win her to consent to you; if any man may, you Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here may as soon as any. troubles me: if you will help me to bear it, sir Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage. your affection, that I should win what Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be enjoy? Methinks, you prescribe to yourself very four porter. preposterously. Ford. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the Ford. O, understand my drift! she dwells so sehearing. curely on the excellency of her honour, that the Fol. Speak, good master Brook ; I shall be glad folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too to be your servant. bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar, - I will be her with any detection in my hand, my desires had and you have been a man long instance and argument to commend themselves; I known to me, though I had never so good means, could drive her then from the ward of her purity, as desire, to make myself acquainted with you. Iher reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very other her defences, which now are too strongly cmmuch lay open mine own imperfection : but, good battled against me: What say you to't, sir John ? sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with you hear them unfolded, turn another into the re- your money; next, give me your hand : and last, gister of your own; that I may pass with a reproof as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy the easier, sith you yourself know, how easy it is Ford's wife. to be such an offender. Ford. O good sir ! Pal. Very well, sir ; proceed. Fal. Master Brook, 1 say you shall. Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her Ford. Want no money, sir John, you shall wart husband's name is Ford 32 you would brief with you, none. come. Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as as I vi!! shall want none. I shall be with her, (I may tell kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you you,) by her own appointment; even as you came in how I vill kill him. to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from Rug. Alas, sir, I cannot fence. me : I say, I shall be with her between ten and ele- Caius. Villainy, take your rapier. ven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her Rug. Forbear; here's company. husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENVER, and PAGE. you shall know how I speed. Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you Host. 'Bless thee, bully doctor. know Ford, sir? Shal. Save you, master doctor Caius. Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know Page. Now, good master doctor! him not : - yet I wrong him to call him poor; they Slen. Give you good-morrow, sir. say, the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of mo- Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come ney; for the which his wife seems to me well-fa- for? voured. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home. thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there : Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir; that you to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, might avoid him, if you saw him. thy distance, thy mortánt. Is he dead, my EthiFal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! opian ? is he dead, my Francisco ? ha, bully! What I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him says my Æsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder with my cudgel : it shall hang like a meteor o'er the ha! is he dead, bully Stale? is he dead? cuckold's horns: master Brook, thou shalt know, I Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of th will predominate o'er the peasant, and thou shalt vorld; he is not show his face. lie with his wife.. - Come to me soon at night : Host. Thou art a Castilian king, Urinal! HecFord's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile; thou, tor of Greece, my boy? master Brook, shalt know him for a knave and Caius. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay cuckold : : - come to me soon at night. [Erit. six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no Ford. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this ! - My heart is ready to crack with impatience. — Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor : he is Who says, this is improvident jealousy? My wife a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies ; if you hath sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is should fight, you go against the hair of your pro made. Would any man have thought this? See fessions; is it not true, master Page ? the hell of having a false woman! my bed shall be Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn great fighter, though now a man of peace. at; and I shall not only receive this villainous Shal. Bodykins, master Page, though I now be wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my terms, and by him that does me this wrong. finger itches to make one : though we are justices, Terms ! names! Amaimon sounds well ; Luci- and doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we have fer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' ad- some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of ditions, the names of fiends : but cuckold! wittol- women, master Page. cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page. 'Tis true, master Shallow. Page is an ass, a secure ass! he will trust his wife, Shal. It will be found so, master Page. Master he will not be jealous; I will rather trust a Fleming, doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am with my butter, parson Hugh the Welchman with sworn of the peace ; you have showed yourself a my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitæ bottle, wise physician, and sir Hugh hath shown himself a or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife wise and patient churchman : you must go with me, with herself: then she plots, then she ruminates, master doctor. then she devises: and what they think in their Host. Pardon, guest justice: – A word, monhearts they may effect, they will break their hearts sieur Muck-water. but they will effect. Heaven be praised for my jea Caius. Muck-vater ! vat is dat? lousy! — Eleven o'clock the hour; — I will prevent Host. Muck-water, in our English tongue, is vathis, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and lour, bully. laugh at Page. I will about it; better three hours Caius. By gar, then I have as much muck-vater too soon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie ! as de Englishman : Scurvy jack-dog priest ! by cuckold! cuckold! cuckold ! [Erit. gar, me vill cut his ears. Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. SCENE III. Windsor Park. Caius. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat? Host. That is, he will make thee amends. Caius. By gar, me do look, he shall clapper-de Caius. Jack Rugby! claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it. Rug. Sir. Host. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag. Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack ? Caius. Me tank you for dat. Rug. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that sir Hugh pro- Host. And moreover, bully, But first, master mised to meet. guest, and master Page, and eke cavalero Slender,gu Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no you through the town to Frogmore. (Aside to them. come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come: Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he? by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be Host. He is there : see what humour he is in ; and I will bring the doctor about by the fields : wili Rug. He is wise, sir ; he knew, your worship | it do well ? mould kill him, if he came. Shal. We will do it. come. Page. Shal. and Slen. Adieu, good master doctor. 1 Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat : by gar, I (Ereunt Page, Shallow, and SLENDER. I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest ; for he speak die eerl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my pafor a jack-an-ape to Anne Page. tients. Host. Let him die: but, first, sheath thy impa- Host. For the which, I will be thy adversary totience; throw cold water on thy choler : go about the wards Anne Page ; said I well ? fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee Caius. By gar, 'tis good ; vell said. where mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house, a Host. Let us wag then. feasting: and thou shalt woo her : Cry'd game, said Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. I well? [Excunt. ACT III. SCENE I. - A Field near Frogmore. Page. We are come to you, to do a good office master parson. Enter Sir Hugh Evans and SIMPLE. Eva. Fery well : What is it? Eva. I pray you now, good master Slender's Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who serving-man, and friend Simple by your name, which belike, having received wrong by some person, is at way have you looked for master Caius, that calls most odds with his own gravity and patience, that himself Doctor of Physick ? ever you saw. Sim. Marry, sir, the city-ward, the park-ward, Shal. I have lived fourscore years, and upward; I every way; old Windsor way, and every way but never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learnthe town way. ing, so wide of his own respect. Eva. I most fehemently desire you, you will also Eva. What is he? look that way. Page. I think you know him; master doctor Caius, 1 Sim. I will, sir. the renowned French Physician. Eu 'Pless my soul ! how full of cholers I am, Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I and trempling of mind! - I shall be glad, if he have had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge. deceived me :- how melancholies I am! - I will Page. Why? knog his urinals about his knave's costard, when I Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates have good opportunities for the 'ork — 'pless my and Galen, - and he is a knave besides; a cowardly soul ! (Sings. knave, as you would desires to be acquainted To shallow rivers, to whose falls withal. Melodious birds sing madrigals ; Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight There will we make our peds of roses, with him. Slen. O, sweet Anne Page ! Shal. It appears so, by his weapons :- Keep them asunder ; - here comes doctor Caius. Enter Host, Caius, and Rugby. Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon. To shallow Shal. So do you, good master doctor. Sim. Yonder he is coming, this way, sir Hugh. Host. Disarm them, and let them question ; let Eva. He's welcome : them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit your To shallow rivers, to whose falls ear: Verefore vill you not meet a-me? Heaven prosper the right! - What weapons is he? Eva. Pray you, use your patience: In good Sim. No weapons, sir : There comes my master, time. master Shallow, and another gentleman from Frog- Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, more, over the stile, this way. Eva. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to it in your arms. other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends : - I Enter Page, SHALLow, and SLENDER. will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb, Shal. How now, master parson? Good-morrow, for missing your meetings and appointments. good sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, Caius. Diable ! - Jack Rugby, — mine Host de and a good student from his book, and it is won- Jarterre, have I not stay for him, to kill him ? have derful. I not, at de place I did appoint? Slen. Ah, sweet Anne Page ! Eva. As I am a christians soul, now, look you, Page. Save you, good sir Hugh! this is the place appointed; I'll be judgment by Era. 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! mine bost of the Garter. Shal. What! the sword and the word ! do you Host. Peace, I say, Guallia and Gaul, French study them both, master parson? and Welch; soul-curer and body-curer. Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and Caius. Ay, dat is very good ! excellent ! hose, this raw rheumatick day? Host. Peace, I say; hear mine host of the GarEva. There is reasons and causes for it. Am I politick ? am I subtle ? am I a Machi John ape. ter. a |