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Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears, Speed. Imprimis, She can milli.
Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire;

Laun. Ay, that she can.
But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die.

Speed. Item, She brows goud alr. Besides, her intercession chafd him so,

Laun. And thereof comes the proverh, -- Esme When she for thy repeal was suppliant,

ing of your heart, you brew good ale. That to close prison he commanded her,

Speed. Item, She can sew. With many bitter threats of 'biding there.

Laun. That's as much as to say, can she so? Val. No more ; unless the next word that thou Speed. Item, She can knit. speak'st,

caun. What need a man care for a stock with a Have some malignant power upon my' life:

wench, when she can knit him a stock. It'so, I pray thec, breathe it in mine ear,

Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. is ending anthem of my endless dolour.

Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not
Pro. Cease to lament for that thou can'st not help, be washed and scoured.
And study help for that which thou lament'st.

Speed. Item, She can spin.
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.

Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels,
Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love; when she can spin for her living.
Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.

Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues.
Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that,

Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues;
and manage it against despairing thoughts. that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence : have no names.
Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd

Speed. Here follow her vices.
Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.

Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. The time now serves not to expostulate :

Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in reCome, I'll convey thee through the city gate ; spect of her breath. ..nd, ere I part with thee, confer at large

Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a Of all that may concern thy love-affairs :

breakfast: Read on. . Is thou lov’st Silvia, though not for thyself,

Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth.
Regard thy danger, and along with me.

Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath.
Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep.
Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north-gate. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in

Pro. Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine. her talk.
Val. O my dear Silvia, hapless Valentine !

Speed. Item, She is slow in words.
(Ereunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her
Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only vir-
the wit to think, my master is a kind of knave: but tue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her
that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not chief virtue.
now, that knows ine to be in love: yet I am in love; Speed. Item, She is proud.
but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy,
nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but that and cannot be ta'en from her.
woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk- Speed. Item, She hath no teeth.
maid ; yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips : Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love
yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and
Serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a Speed. Item. She is curst.
water-spaniel, - which is much in a bare-christian. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
Here is the cat-log (Pulling out a paper.] of her Speed. She will often praise her liquor.
conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall : if she
Why, a horse can do no more ; nay, a horse cannot will not, I will; for good things should be praised.
fetch, but only carry ; therefore is she better than a Speed. Item, She is too liberal.
jacle. Item, She can milk ; look you, a sweet virtue Laun. Of her tongue she cannot ; for that's writ
in a maid with clean hands.

down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not ;

for that I'll keep shut: now of another thing she Enter SPEED.

may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news Spæd. Item, She hath more hair than uit, and with your mastership?

more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun. With my master's ship? why it is at sea. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her : she was mine,

Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article :
What news then in your paper ?

Rehearse that once more.
Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, -
Speed. Why, man, how black ?

Laun. More hair than wit, - it may be; I'll
Laun. Why as black as ink.

prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and Speed. Let me read them.

therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that Laun. Fye on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read. covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater Speed. Thou liest, I can.

hides the less. What's next? Laun. I will try thee : Tell me this : Who begot Speed.

And more faults than hairs, — thee?

Laun. That'w vuonstrous: O, that that were out! Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather.

Speed. And more wealth than faults.
Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious:
grandmother: this proves, that thou canst not read. Well, I'll have her: And if it be a match, as nothing

Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper. is impossible,
Laun. There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed ! Speed. What then?

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Loun. Why, then will I tell thee, - that thy ! Diane. Where your good word cannot advantage Quister stays for thee at the nori gait.

him, Speed. For me?

Your slander never can endamage him ;
Laun. For thee? ay : who art thou ? he bath Therefore the office is indifferent,
staid for a better man than thee.

Being entreated to it by your friend.
Speed. And must I go to him ?

Pro. You have prevailid, my lord : if I can do it, Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. She shall not long continue love to him.

Speed. Why wust not tell me sooner ? 'pox of But say, this weed her love from Valentine, your love leder!

[Erit. It follows not that she will love sir Thurio. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, letter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust him- Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, self into secrets ! — I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's You must provide to bottom it on me: correction.

(Erit. Which must be done, by praising me as much

As you in worth dispraise sir Valentine.

The same. A Room in the Duke's Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind;

Because we know, on Valentine's report,

You are already love's firm votary,
Enter Duke and Thurio; Proteus behind.

And cannot soon revolt and change your mind.
Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love you, Upon this warrant shall you have access,
Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight.

Where you with Silvia may confer at large;
Thu. Since his exíle she hath despis'd me most, For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy,
Forsworn my company, and rail'd at me,

And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you;
That I am desperate of obtaining her.

Where you may temper her, by your persuasion, Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure To hate young Valentine, and love my friend. Trenched in ice; which with an hour's heat

Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect :-
Dissolves to water, and doth lose his form.

But you, sir Thurio, are not sharp enough ;
A little time will melt her frozen thoughts,

You must lay lime, to tangle her desires,
And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.

By wailful sonnets, whose composed rhymes
How now, sir Proteus ? Is your countryman,

Should be full fraught with serviceable vows.
According to our proclamation, gone?

Duke. Ay, much the force of heaven-bred poesy Pro. Gone, my good lord.

Pro. Say, that upon the altar of her beauty
Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart,
Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. Write till your ink be dry; and with your tears

Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.- Moist it again; and frame some feeling line,
Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee,

That may discover such integrity : (For thou hast shown some sign of good desert,) For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews; Makes me the better to confer with thee.

Whose golden touch could soften steel and stones,
Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Make tigers tame, and huge leviathans
Let me not live to look upon your grace.

Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands.
Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect After your dire lamenting elegies,
The match between sir Thurio and my daughter. Visit by night your lady's chamber-window,
Pro. I do, my lord.

With some sweet concert: to their instruments
Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant Tune a deploring dump; the night's dead silence
How she opposes her against my will.

Will well become such sweet complaining grievance. Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. This, or else nothing, will inherit her.

Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers so. Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in What might we do, to make the girl forget

The love of Valentine, and love sir Thurio ?

Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in practice:
Pro. The best way is, to slander Valentine Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver,
With falshood, cowardice, and poor descent ; Let us into the city presently
Three things that women highly hold in hate. To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in musick:

Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoke in hate. I have a sonnet that will serve the turn,
Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it :

To give the onset to thy good advice.
Therefore it must, with circumstance, be spoken Duke. About it, gentlemen.
By one, whom she esteemeth as his friend.

Pro. We'll wait upon your grace, till after supper;
Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. And afterward determine our proceedings.

Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do: Duke. Even now about it; I will pardon you. 'Tis an ill office for a gentleman;

(Ercumt. Especially, against his very friend

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about you ;

SCENE I. - A Forest, near Mantua. That they may hold excus'd our lawless lives,

And, partly, seeing you are beautified
Enter certain Out-laws.

With goodly shape ; and by your own repere 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger.

A linguist; and a man of such perfection, 2 Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down As we do in our quality much want; with 'em.

2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man,

Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you :

Are you content to be our general ? 3 Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have To make a virtue of necessity,

And live, as we do, in this wilderness? If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you.

3 Out. What say’st thou ? wilt thou be of oui Speed. Sir, we are undone! these are the villains

consórt? That all the travellers do fear so much.

Say, ay, and be the captain of us all : Val. My friends,

We'll do thee homage, and be ruld by thee, 1 Out. That's not so, sir ; we are your enemies. Love thee as our commander, and our king. 2 Out. Peace; we'll hear him.

1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we ;

2 Out. Thou shalt not live to brag what we have For he's a proper man.

offer'd. Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to Val. I take your offer, and will live with you; lose ;

Provided that


do no outrages A man I am, crossed with adversity :

On silly women, or poor passengers. My riches are these poor habiliments,

3 Out. No, we detest such vile base practices. Of which if you should here disfurnish me, Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our crews, You take the sum and substance that I have.

And shew thee all the treasure we have got; 2 Out. Whither travel you ?

Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose. Val. To Verona.

(Eseura 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan.

SCENE II. — Milan. Court of the Palace. 3 Out. Have you long sojourn’d there? Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might

Enter PROTEUS. have staid,

Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, If crooked fortune had not thwarted me.

And now I must be as unjust to Thurio. 1 Out. What, were you banish'd thence ? Under the colour of commending him, Val. I was.

I have access my own love to prefer ; 2 Out. For what offence ?

But Silvia is too fair, too true, too holy, Val. For that which now torments me to re- To be corrupted with my worthless gifts. hearse :

When I protest true loyalty to her,
I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; She twits me with my falshood to my friend :
But yet I slew him manfully in fight,

When to her beauty I commend my vows,
Without false vantage, or base treachery.

She bids me think, how I have been forsworn 1 Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so: In breaking faith with Julia whom I lov’d: But were you banish’d for so small a fault? And, notwithstanding all her sudden quips,

Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. The least whereof would quell a lover's hope, 1 Out. Have you the tongues ?

Yet, spaniel-like, the more she spurns my love, Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; | The more it grows, and fawneth on her still. Or else I often had been miserable.

But here comes Thurio: now must we to her window, 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat And give some evening musick to her ear. friar,

Enter THURIO and Musicians. This fellow were a king for our wild faction. 1 Out. We'll have him ; sirs, a word.

Thu. How now, sir Proteus ? are you crept beSpeed. Master, be one of them;

fore us? It is an honourable kind of thievery.

Pro. Ay, gentle Thurio ; for, you know, thall Val. Peace, villain !

love 2 Out. Tell us this: Have you any thing to take to? Will creep in service where it cannot go. Val. Nothing, but my fortune.

Thu. Ay, but, I hope, sir, that you love not here. 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentle- Pro. Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence. men,

Thu. Whom? Silvia ? Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth

Pro. Ay, Silvia, - for your sake. Thrust from the company of awful men:

Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gentlema, Myself was from Verona banish’d,

Let's tune, and to it lustily awhile.
For practising to steal away a lady,
An heir, and near allied unto the duke.

Enter Host, at a distance; and Julia in boy's clothes. 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Host. Now, my young guest! methinks you're Whom, in my mood, I stabb’d unto the heart. allycholly ; I pray you, why is it?

1 Out. And I, for such like petty crimes as these. Ju. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. But to the purpose, -(for we cite our faults, Host. Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you

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where you shall hear musick, and see the gentleman Pro.

That I may compass yours. that you ask'd for.

Sil. You have your wish; my will is even this, – Jul. But shall I hear him speak ?

That presently you hie you home to bed. Host. Ay, that you shall.

Thou subtle, perjur'd, false, disloyal man ! Jul. That will be musick. [Musick plays. Think'st thou, I am so shallow, so conceitless, Host. Hark! hark !

To be seduced by thy flattery, Jul. Is he among these?

That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows? Host. Ay: but peace, let's hear 'em.

Return, return, and make thy love amends.

For me, - by this pale queen of night I swear,

I am so far from granting thy request,
Who is Silvia ? what is she,

That I despise thee for thy wrongful suit;
That all our swains commend her ?

And by and by intend to chide myself,
Holy, fair, and wise is she,

Even for this time I spend in talking to thee.
The heavens such grace did lend her,

Pro. I grant, sweet love, that I did love a lady ;

But she is dead.
That she might admired be.

Jul. 'Twere false, if I should speak it;
Is she kind, as she is fair ?

For, I am sure, she is not buried.

| Aside For beauty lives with kindness :

Sil. Say, that she be; yet Valentine, thy friend,
Love doth to her eyes repair,

Survives ; to whom, thyself art witness,
To help him of his blindness ;

I am betroth'd : And art thou not asham'd
And, being help'd, inhabits there.

To wrong him with thy importúnacy?
Then to Silvia let us sing,

Pro. I likewise hear, that Valentine is dead.
That Silvia is ercelling;

Sil. And so, suppose, am I; for in his grave
She ercels each mortal thing,

Assure thyself, my love is buried.
Upon the dull earth dwelling :

Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth.
To her let us garlands bring.

Si. Go to thy lady's grave, and call her's thence;

Or, at the least, in her's sepulchre thine. Host. How now ? are you sadder than you were Jul. He heard not that.

Aside. before?

Pro. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate, How do you, man ? the musick likes you not. Vouchsafe me yet your picture for my love,

Jul. You mistake; the musician likes me not. The picture that is hanging in your chamber; Host. Why, my pretty youth ?

To that I'll speak, to that I'll sigh and weep: Jul. He plays false, father.

For, since the substance of your perfect self Yost. How? out of tune on the strings? Is else devoted, I am but a shadow;

ul. Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my And to your shadow I will make true love. very heart-strings.

Jul. If 'twere a substance, you would, sure, de Host. You have a quick ear.

ceive it, Jul. Ay, I would I were deaf! it makes me have And make it but a shadow, as I am. (Asidc. slow beart.

Sil. I am very loth to be your idol, sir ; Hast. I perceive, you delight not in musick.

But, since your falshood shall become you woll Jul. Not a whit, when it jars so.

To worship shadows, and adore false shapes, Hust. Hark, what fine change is in the musick! Send to me in the morning, and I'll send it: Jul. Ay; that change is the spite.

And so, good rest. Host. You would have them always play but one Pro.

As wretches have o'er-night, thing?

That wait for execution in the morn. Jul. I would always have one play but one thing.

[Exeunt ProTEUS; and Silvia, from above. But, host, doth this sir Proteus, that we talk on, often Jul. Host, will you go? resort unto this gentlewoman?

Host. By my hallidom, I was fast asleep. Host. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me, Jul. Pray you, where lies sir Proteus ? be loved her out of all nick.

Host. Marry, at my house : Trust me, I think, Jul. Where is Launce ?

'tis almost day. Host. Gone to seek his dog ; which, to-morrow, Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest night by his master's command, he must carry for a present That e'er I watch'd, and the most heaviest. to his lady.

] (Ereunt. Jul. Peace! stand aside! the company parts. Pro. Sir Thurio, fear not you! I will so plead,

SCENE III. - The same.
That you shall say, my cunning drift excels.
Thu. Where meet we?

Pro. At saint Gregory's well.

Eyl. This is the hour that madam Silvia This Farewell. (Ereunt Thurio and Musicians. Entreated me to call, and know her mind ; Silvia appears above, at her window.

There's some great matter she'd employ me in.

Madam, madam!
Fro. Madarn, good even to your ladyship.
Sl. I thank you for your musick, gentlemen :

Silvia appears above, at her window.
Who is that, that spake?

. Who calls ? Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's truth, Egl.

Your servant, and your nieno You'd quickly learn to know him by his voice. One that attends your ladyship's command. Sal. Sir Proteus, as I take it.

Si. Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good-morrow Pro. Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant. Egl. As many, worthy lady, to yourself. Sl. What is your will ?

According to your ladyship's impose,

I am thus early come, to know what service whip the dog ? Ay, marry, do 1, quith he. You do It is your pleasure to command me in.

him the more wrong, quoth I; 'twas I did the ilting Sil. ( Eglamour, thou art a gentleman,

you wot of. He makes me no more ado, but whips (Think not, I flatter, for, I swear, I do not,) me out of the chamber. How many masters would Valiant, wise, remorseful, well accomplish’d. do this for their servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, i Thou art not ignorant, what dear good will have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen. I bear unto the banish'd Valentine ;

otherwise he had been executed : I have stood on Nor how my father would enforce me marry the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had Vain Thurio, whom my very soul abhorr’d. suffered for’t: thou think'st not of this now!- Nay, Thyself hast loved; and I have heard thee say, I remember the trick you served me, when I took No grief did ever come so near thy heart,

my leave of madam Silvia ; did not I bid thee still As when thy lady and thy true love died,

mark me, and do as I do? When did'st thou see Upon whose grave thou vow'dst pure chastity. me heave up my leg, and make water against a genSir Eglamour, I would to Valentine,

tlewoman's farthingale? didst thou ever see me do To Mantua, where, I hear, he makes abode;

such a trick ? And, for the ways are dangerous to pass,

Enter PROTEUS and Julia.
I do desire thy worthy company,
Upon whose faith and honour Í repose.

Pro. Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well, Urge not my father's anger, Eglamour,

And will employ thee in some service presently. But think upon my grief, a lady's grief;

Jul. In what you please ; - I will do what I can. And on the justice of my flying hence,

Pro. I hope, thou wilt. — How now, you whoreTo keep me from a most unholy match,

son peasant?

[ 70 LAUNCE. Which heaven and fortune still reward with plagues.

Where have you been these two days loitering? I do desire thee, even from a heart

Laun. Marry, sir, I carried mistress Silvia the As full of sorrows as the sea of sands,

dog you bade me. To bear me company,

with me:

Pro. And what says she to my little jewel ? If not, to hide what I have said to thee,

Laun. Marry, she says, your dog was a cur; ana That I may venture to depart alone.

tells you, currish thanks is good enough for such a Egl. Madam, I pity much your grievances; present. Which since I know they virtuously are plac'd,

Pro. But she received my dog ? I give consent to go along with you ;

Laun. No, indeed, she did not : here have I Recking as little what betideth me

brought him back again. As much I wish all good befortune you.

Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me? When will you go?

Laun. Ay, sir; the other squirrel was stolen from Su.

This evening coming. me by the hangman's boys in the market-place: and Egl. Where shall I meet you?

then I offered her mine own; who is a dog as big Su.

At friar Patrick's cell, as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater. Where I intend holy confession.

Pro. Go, get thee hence, and find my dog again, Eyl. I will not fail your ladyship:

Or ne'er return again into my sight. Good-morrow, gentle lady.

Away, I say : Stay'st thou to vex me here? Si. Good-morrow, kind sir Eglamour. [Ereunt. A slave, that, still an end, turns me to shame.

[Exit LAUNCE SCENE IV. - The same.

Sebastian, I have entertained thee,

Partly, that I have need of such a youth,
Enter LAUNCE, with his dog.

That can with some discretion do my business, When a man's servant shall play the cur with For 'tis no trusting to yon foolish lowt; him, look you, it goes hard : one that I brought up But, chiefly, for thy face, and thy behaviour; of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when Which (if my augury deceive me not) three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went Witness good bringing up, fortune, and truth: to it! I have taught him - even as one would say Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee. precisely, Thus I would teach a dog. I was sent Go presently, and take this ring with thee, to deliver him, as a present to mistress Silvia, from Deliver it to madam Silvia : my master; and I came no sooner into the dining- She loved me well, deliver'd it to me. chamber, but he steps me to her trencher, and steals Jul. It seems, you loved her not, to leave her her capon's leg. O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur

token : cannot keep himself in all companies! I would have, She's dead, belike. as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a Pro.

Not so; I think, she lives. dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If Jul. Alas! I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon Pro. Why dost thou cry, alas ! me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged Jul. I cannot choose but pity her? for’t; sure as I live he had suffered for’t: you shall Pro. Wherefore should'st thou pity her? judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of Jul. Because, methinks, that she loved you as well three or four gentleman-like dogs, under the duke's As you do love your lady Silvia : table: he had not been there (bless the mark) a piss- She dreams on him, that has forgot her love; ing while ; but all the chamber smelt him. Out with You dote on her, that cares not for your love. the dog, says one; What cur is that? says

another ; "Tis pity, love should be so contrary; Whip him out, says a third ; Hang him up, says the And thinking on it makes me cry,

alas! duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell Pro. Well, give her that ring, and therewithal before, knew it was Crab; and goes me to the fellow This letter; that's her chamber. – Tell my lady, wat whips the dogs: Friend, quoth I, you mean to I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.

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