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stuti ad man: but for the stuffing, - Well, we are certain, I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted : ali mortal.
and I would I could find in my heart that I had not Leon. You must not, sir, mistake my niece : a hard heart : for, truly, I love none. there is a kind of merry war betwixt signior Bine- Beul. A dear happiness to women ; they would dick and her: they never meet, but there is a skir- else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I mish of wit between them.
thank God, and my cold blood, I am of your huBeat. Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last mour for that; I had rather hear my dog bark at a conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and crow, than a man swear he loves me. now is the old man governed with one: so that if Bene. God keep your ladyship still in that mind ! he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestibear it for a difference between himself and his nate scratched face. forse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, an be known a reasonable creature. Who is his com- 'twere such a face as yours were. panion now? He hath every month a new sworn Bene. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. brother.
Beat. A bird of my tongue, is better than a beast Mess. Is it possible?
yours. Beat. Very easily possible: he wears his faith but Bene. I would, my horse had the speed of your as the fashion of his hat, it ever changes with the tongue; and so good a continuer : But keep your next block.
way o' God's name; I have done. Mess. I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your Beat. You always end with a jade's trick; I books.
know you of old. Beat. No: an he were, I would burn my study. D. Pedro. This is the sum of all: Leonato, But, I pray you, who is his companion ? Is there signior Claudio, and signior Benedick, - my dear no young squarer now, that will make a voyage with friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him, him to the devil ?
we shall stay here at the least a month; and lx. Mess. He is most in the company of the right heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer: noble Claudio.
I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his Beat. O Lord! he will hang upon him like a heart. disease : he is sooner caught than the pestilence, Leon. If you swear, my lord, you shall not be and the taker runs presently mad. God help the forsworn. Let me bid you welcome, my lord. noble Claudio ! if he have caught the Benedick, it being reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured. you all duty. Mess. I will hold friends with you, lady.
D. John. I thank you : I am not of many words, Beat. Do, good friend.
but I thank you. Leon. You will never run mad, niece.
Leon. Please it your grace lead on? Beat. No, not till a hot January.
D. Pedro. Your hand, Leonato ; we will go Mess. Don Pedro is approached.
gether. [Ereunt all but BENEDICK and CLAUDIO.
Claud. Benedick, didst thou note the daughter Enter Don Pedro, attended by BALTHAZAR and
of signior Leonato ? others, Don John, Claudio, and BENEDICK.
Bene. I noted her not : but I looked on her. D. Pedro. Good signior Leonato, you are come Claud. Is she not a modest young lady? to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to Bene. Do you question me as an honest man avoid cost, and you encounter it.
should do, for my simple true judgment; or would Leon. Never came trouble to my house in the you have me speak after my custom, as being a prolikeness of your grace; for trouble being gone, fessed tyrant to their sex? comfort should remain ; but when you depart Claud. No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment. from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his Bene. Why, i'faith, methinks she is too low for leave.
a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too D. Pedro. You embrace your charge too wil- little for a great praise : only this commendation I lingly. I think, this is your daughter.
can afford her; that were she other than she is, she Leon. Her mother hath many times told me so. were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, Bene. Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her ? I do not like her. Leon. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you
Claud. Thou thinkest I am in sport; I pray a child.
thee, tell me truly how thou likest her. D. Pedro. You have it full, Benedick : we may Bene. Would you buy her, that you inquire after guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly,
her ? the lady fathers herself: - Be happy, lady! for you Claud. Can the world buy such a jewel ? are like an honourable father.
Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak Bene. If signior Leonato be her father, she you this with a sad brow? or do you play the floutwould not have his head on her shoulders, for ing Jack; to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder, Messina, as like him as she is.
and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, shall a man take you, to go in the song ? signior Benedick ; no body marks you.
Claud. In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady Bene. What, my dear lady Disdain! are you that ever I looked on. yet living.
Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see Beat. Is it possible, disdain should die, while she no such matter : there's her cousin, an she were not hath such meet food to feed it, as signior Benedick? possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come beauty, as the first of May doth the last of December. in her presence.
But I hope, you have no intent to turn husband : Rene. Then is courtesy , turn-coat : But it is I have you?
Claud. I would scarce trust myself, though I had sible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns, sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely
Bene. Is it come to this, i'faith ? Hath not the painted ; and in such great letters as they write, world one man, but he will wear his cap with sus- Here is good horse to hire, let them signify under my picion ? Shall I never see a bachelor of three- sign, - Here you may see Benedick the married man. score again? Go to, i'faith: an thou wilt needs Claud. If this should ever happen, thou would'st ihrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, be horn-mad. and sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is re- D. Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his tired to seek you.
quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.
Bene. I look for an earthquake too then.
D. Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the D. Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that hours. In the mean time, good signior Benedick, you followed not to Leonato's ?
repair to Leonato's; commend me to him, and tell Bene. I would, your grace would constrain me him, I will not fail him at supper; for, indeed, he to tell.
hath made great preparation. D. Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegiance.
Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for Bene. You hear, Count Claudio : I can be secret such an embassage ; and so I commit you is a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on Claud. To the tuition of God: From my house, my allegiance, — mark you this, on my allegiance : (if I had it) - He is in love, With who ? — now that is your D. Pedro. The sixth of July: Your loving friend, grace's part. Mark, how short his answer is : Benedick. With Hero, Leonato's short daughter.
Bene. Nay, mock not, mock not: The body of Claud. If this were so, so were it uttered.
your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, Bene. Like the old tale, my lord : “it is not so, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither : nor 'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should ere you fout old ends any further, examine your be so.”
conscience; and so I leave you. [Exit BENEDICK. Claud. If my passion change not shortly, God Claud. My liege, your highness now may do me forbid it should be otherwise.
good. D. Pedro. Amen, if you love her; for the lady D. Pedro. My love is thine to teach; teach it is very well worthy.
Bene. And, by my two faiths and troths, my D. Pedro. No child but Hero, she's his only sord, I spoke mine.
heir : Claud. That I love her, I feel.
Dost thou affect her, Claudio ? D. Pedro. That she is worthy, I know.
O my lord, Bene. That I neither feel how she should be When you went onward on this ended action, loved, nor know how she should be worthy, is the I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye, opinion that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die That lik’d, but had a rougher task in hand in it at the stake.
Than to drive liking to the name of love : D. Pedro. Thou wast ever an obstinate heretick But now I am return'd, and that war-thoughts in the despite of beauty.
Have left their places vacant, in their rooms Claud. And never could maintain his part, but | Come thronging soft and delicate desires, in the force of his will.
All prompting me how fair young Hero is, Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank Saying, I lik'd her ere I went to wars. her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her D. Pedro. Thou wilt be like a lover presently most humble thanks : but that I will have a recheat And tire the hearer with a book of words : winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it; invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me : And I will break with her, and with her father, Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust And thou shalt have her: Was't not to this end, any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and That thou began’st to twist so fine a story? the fine is, (for the which I may go the finer,) I Claud. How sweetly do you minister to love, will live a bachelor.
That know love's grief by his complexion ! D. Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale But lest my liking might too sudden seem, with love.
I would have salv'd it with a longer treatise. Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, D. Pedro. What need the bridge much broader my lord; not with love : prove, that ever I lose
than the flood ? more blood with love, than I will get again with The fairest grant is the necessity : drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's Look, what will serve, is fit : 'tis once, thou lov’st ; pien, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house, And I will fit thee with the remedy. for the sign of blind Cupid.
I know, we shall have revelling to-night ; D. Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this I will assume thy part in some disguise, faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument.
And tell fair Hero I am Claudio ; Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart, shoot at me ; and he that hits me, let him be clapped And take her hearing prisoner with the force
; on the shoulder, and called Adam.
And strong encounter of my amorous tale : D. Pedro. Well, as time shall try :
Then, after, to her father will I break; In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.
And, the conclusion is, she shall be thine : Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever this sen- In practice let us put it presently.
You have of late stood out against your brother, SCENE II. - Room in Leonato's House.
and he hath ta’en you newly into his grace; where Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO.
it is impossible you should take true root, but by
the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needLeon. How now, brother? Where is my cousin, ful that you frame the season for your own harvest. your son ? Hath he provided this musick ?
D. John. I had rather be a canker in a hedge, Ant. He is very busy about it. But, brother, I than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood can tell you strange news inat you yet dreamed
to be disdain'd of all, than to fashion a carriage te not of.
rob love from any : in this, though I cannot be said Leon. Are they good ?
to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied Ant. As the event stamps them; but they have a
that I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with good cover, they show well outward. The prince a muzzle, and enfranchised with a clog: therefore I and Count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached have decreed not to sing in my cage: If I had my alley in my orchard, were thus much overheard by a
mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would man of mine : The prince discovered to Claudio, do my liking: in the mean time, let me be that I that he loved my niece your daughter, and meant to am, and seek not to alter me. acknowledge it this night in a dance; and, if he
Con. Can you make no use of your discontent ? found her accordant, he meant to take the present D. John. I make all use of it, for I use it only. time by the top, and instantly break with you of it.
Who comes here? What news, Borachio ?
Enter Borachio. and question him yourself.
Bora. I came yonder from a great supper ; the Loon. No, no ; we will hold it as a dream, till it prince, your brother, is royally entertained by Leoappear itself: - but I will acquaint my daughter nato ; and I can give you intelligence of an intended withal, that she may be the better prepared for an
marriage. answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you, and
D. John. Will it serve for any model to build tell her of it. (Several persons cross the stage.] mischief on? What is he for a fool, that betrotlıs Cousins, you know what you have to do. - 0, I cry himself to unquietness ? you mercy, friend: you go with me, and I will use
Bora. Marry, it is your brother's right hand. Good cousins, have a care this busy
D. John. Who? the most exquisite Claudio ? time.
[Exeunt. Bora. Even he.
D. John. A proper squire! And who, and who? SCENE III.- Another Room in Leonato's House. which way looks he?
Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir Enter Don John and CONRADE.
of Leonato. Con. What the goujere, my lord! why are you D. John. A very forward March-chick! How thus out of ineasure sad ?
came you to this? D. John. There is no measure in the occasion Bora. Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was that breeds it, therefore the sadness is without limit. smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Con. You should hear reason.
Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt D. John. And when I have heard it, what bless- me behind the arras; and there heard it agreed ing bringeth it?
upon, that the prince should woo Hero for himself, Con. If not a present remedy, yet a patient suf- and having obtained her, give her to count Claudio. ferance.
D. John. Come, come, let us thither ; this may D. John. I wonder, that thou being (as thou prove food to my displeasure : that young start-up say'st thou art) born under Suturn, goest about to hath all the glory of my overthrow; if I can cross apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I him any way, I bless myself every way: You are cannot hide what I am : I must be sad when I have both sure, and will assist me? cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when I have Con. To the death, my lord. stomach, and wait for no man's leisure ; sleep when D. John. Let us to the great supper : their cheer I am drowsy, and tend to no man's business ; laugh is the greater, that I am subdued : 'Would the cook when I am merry, and claw no man in his humour. were of my mind ! — Shall we go prove what's to
Con. Yea, but you must not make the full show be done ? of this, till you may do it without controlment. Bora. We'll wait upon your lordship. [Ereunt.
your skill :
SCENE I. - A Hall in Leonato's House. Beat. He were an excellent man, that were made Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, Hero, BEATRICE,
just in the mid-way between bim and Benedick;
the one is too like an image, and says nothing; and and others.
the other, too like my lady's eldest son, evermore Leon. Was not count John here at supper? tattling. Ant. I saw him not.
Leon. Then half signior Benedick's tongue in Beat. How tartly that gentleman looks! I never count John's mouth, and half count John's melancan see him, but I am heart-burned an hour choly in signior Benedick's face, After.
Beat. With a good leg, and a good foot, uncle, Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposition. and money encugh in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world, - if he could get her
Enter Don Pedro, ULAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHAgood will.
ZAR; Don John, BorachIO, MARGARET, URSULA, Lenn. By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee
and others, masked. a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue. Art. In faith, she is too curst.
D. Pedro. Lady, will you walk about with your Reat. Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen friend ? God's sending that way : for it is said, God sends a Hero. So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and curst cow short horns ; but to a cow too curst he say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and, espesends none.
cially, when I walk away. Leon. So, by being too curst, God will send you
D. Pedro. With me in your company? no horns.
Hero. I may say so, when I please. Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the D. Pedro. And when please you to say so? which blessing, I am at him upon my knees every Hero. When I like your favour; for God defend, morning and evening: Lord! I could not endure a the lute should be like the case! husband with a beard on his face: I had rather lie D. Pedro. My visor is Philemon's roof; within in the woollen.
the house is Jove. Leon. You may light upon a husband, that hath Hero. Why, then your visor should be thatch'd. no beard.
D. Pedro. Speak low, if you speak love. Beat. What should I do with him? dress him in
(Takes her asude. my apparel, and make him my waiting gentlewoman? Bene. Well, I would you did like me. He that hath a beard, is more than a youth; and he Marg. So would not I, for your own sake, for'] that hath no beard, is less than a man: and he that have
many ill qualities. is more than a youth, is not for me; and he that is Bene. Which is one? less than a man, I am not for bim : Therefore I will Marg. I say my prayers
aloud. even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-herd, and Bene. I love you the better; the hearers may cry, lead his apes into hell.
Amen. Leon. Well then, go you into hell ?
Marg. God match me with a good dancer ! Beat. No; but to the gate ; and there will the Balth. Amen. devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on Marg. And God keep him out of my sight, when his head, and say, Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get the dance is done ! - Answer, clerk. you to heaven; here's no place for you maids : so Balth. No more words; the clerk is answered. deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for Urs. I know you well enough ; you are signior the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, Antonio. and there live we as merry as the day is long.
Ant. At a word, I am not. Ant. Well, niece, (to Hero.] I trust, you will Urs. I know you by the waggling of your be ruled by your father.
head. Beat. Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty to make Ant. To tell you true, I counterfeit him. courtesy, and say, Father, as it please you : - but Urs. You could never do him so ill-well, unless yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome you were the very man : Here's his dry hand up fellow, or else make another courtesy, and say, and down ; you are he, you are he. Father, as it please me.
Ant. At a word, I am not. Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day Urs. Come, come ; do you think I do not know fitted with a husband.
you by your excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Beat. Not till God make men of some other Go to, mum, you are he: graces will appear, and metal than earth. Would it not grieve a woman there's an end. to be over-mastered with a piece of valiant dust? Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward Bene. No, you shall pardon me. marl? No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my Beat. Nor will you not tell me who you are ? brethren; and truly, I hold it a sin to match in my Bene. Not now. kindred.
Beat. That I was disdainful, - and that I had my Leon. Daughter, remember, what I told you: if good wit out of the Hundred merry Tales ; – Well, the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know this was signior Benedick that said so. your answer.
Bene. What's he? Beat. The fault will be in the musick, cousin, if Beat. I am sure, you know him well enough. you be not woo'd in good time: if the prince be Bene. Not I, believe me. too important, tell him, there is measure in every Beat. Did he never make you laugh? thing, and so dance out the answer.
For hear me,
Bene. I pray you, what is he? Hero; Wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Beat. Why, he is the prince's jester : a very dull Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque-pace : the first fool; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders: suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as none but libertines delight in him; and the comfantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as mendation is not in his wit, but in his villainy; for measure full of state and ancientry; and then comes he both pleaseth men, and angers them, and then repentance, and, with his bad legs, falls into the they laugh at him, and beat him: I am sure he is cinque-pace faster and faster, till he sink into his in the fleet; I would he had boarded me. grave.
Bene. When I know the gentleman, rll tell lin. Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly. what you say.
Beat. I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a Beat. Do, do : hc'll but break a comparison or church by day-lights
two on me; which, peradventure, not marked, or Leon. The revellers are entering; brother, make not laughed at, strikes him into melancholy; and good room.
then there's a partridge' wing saved, for the fool
will eat no supper that night. (Musick within.] Bene. Troth, my lord, I have played the part of We must follow the leaders.
I found him here as melancholy as a Bene. In every good thing.
lodge in a warren ; I told him, and, I think, I told Beat. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave him true, that your grace had got the good will of them at the next turning
this young lady; and I offered him my company to [Dance. Then exeunt all but Don John, a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being
Borachio, and CLAUDIO. forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy D. John. Sure, my brother is amorous on Hero, to be whipped. and hath withdrawn her father to break with him D. Pedro. To be whipped! What's his fault? about it: The ladies follow her, and but one visor Bene. The flat transgression of a school-boy ; remains.
who, being overjoy'd with finding a bird's nest, Bora. And that is Claudio: I know him by his shows it his companion, and he steals it. bearing.
D. Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust a transgression ? D. John. Are not you signior Benedick? The transgression is in the stealer. Claud. You know me well; I am he.
Bene. Yet it had not been amiss, the rod had D. John. Signior, you are very near my brother been made, and the garland too; for the garland in his love: he is enamour'd on Hero; I pray you, he might have worn himself; and the rod he might dissuade him from her, she is no equal for his birth : have bestow'd on you, who, as I take it, have stol'n you may do the part of an honest man in it.
his bird's nest. Claud. How know you he loves her ?
D. Pedro. I will but teach them to sing, and reD. John. I heard him swear his affection.
store them to the owner. Bora. So did I too; and he swore he would marry Benc. If their singing answer your saying, by my her to-night.
faith, you say honestly. D. John. Come, let us to the banquet.
D. Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to [Exeunt Don John and Borachio. you ; the gentleman, that danced with her, told Claud. Thus answer I in name of Benedick, her, she is much wrong’d by you. But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. – Bene. O, she misused me past the endurance of Tis certain so;- the prince wooes for himself. a block; an oak, but with one green leaf on it, Friendship is constant in all other things,
would have answer'd her; my very visor began to Save in the office and affairs of love :
assume life, and scold with her : She told me, not Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues; thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's Let every eye negotiate for itself,
jester; that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling And trust no agent : for beauty is a witch, jest upon jest, with such impossible conveyance, Against whose charms faith melteth into blood. upon me, that I stood like a man at a mark, with a This is an accident of hourly proof,
whole army shooting at me: She speaks poniards, Which I mistrusted not: Farewell therefore, Hero! and every word stabs : if her breath were as terrible
as her terminations, there were no living near her, Re-enter BENEDICK.
she would infect to the north star. I would not Bene. Count Claudio ?
marry her, though she were endowed with all that Claud. Yea, the same.
Adam had left him before he transgressed : she Bene. Come, will you go with me?
would have made Hercules have turned spit; yea, and Claud. Whither?
have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own not of her: you shall find her the infernal Até in business, count? What fashion will you wear the good apparel. I would to God, some scholar would garland of ? About your neck, like an usurer's chain ? conjure her; for, certainly, while she is here, a man or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You may live as quiet in hell, as in a sanctuary; and must wear it one way, for the prince hath got your people sin upon purpose, because they would go Hero.
thither; so, indeed, all disquiet, horror, and perClaud. I wish him joy of her.
turbation follow her. Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest drover;
Re-enter Claudio, BEATRICE, LEONATO, and Hero. so they sell bullocks. But did you think, the prince would have served you thus ?
D. Pedro. Look, here she comes. Claud. I pray you, leave me.
Bene. Will your grace command me any service Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man ; to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat now to the Antipodes, that you can devise to send
I will fetch you a toothpicker now from the Claud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. (Exit. farthest inch of Asia; bring you the length of Bene. Alas! poor hurt fowl! Now will he creep
Prester John's foot ; fetch you a hair off the great into sedges But, that my lady Beatrice should Cham's beard ; do you any embassage to the Pigknow me, and not know me! The prince's fool!- mies, rather than hold three words' conference with Ha, it may be, I go under that title, because I am this harpy : You have no employment for me? merry. Yea; but so; I am apt to do myself wrong: )
D.Pedro. None, but to desire your good company, I am not so reputed: it is the base, the bitter dis- Bene. O God, sir, here's a dish I love not; I position of Beatrice, that puts the world into her cannot endure my lady Tongue.
Erit. person, and so gives me out. Well, I'll be re- D. Pedro. Come, lady, come; you have lost the venged as I may
heart of signior Benedick.
Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me a while ; and Re-enter Don Pedro.
I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single D. Pedro. Now, signior, where's the count; one : marry, once before, he won it of me with false Did you see him?
dice, therefore your grace may well say, I have lost it.