PERIOD IV.

From my being licenfed, till I removed into the bounds of the presbytery of Stirling.

BEing licensed to preach the gofpel, I paffed two years and three months in the character of a probationer; the first part of the fame in my native country, the fecond in the bounds of the prefbytery of Stirling, and the third in my native country again, where I was fettled. Thefe years brought in continued fcenes of trial to me; being, through the mercy of God, generally acceptable to the people; but could never fall into the good graces of those who had the ftroke in the fettling of parishes.

Having, on the 18th of June, ftudied, and once mandated, the firft fermon I preached, and having gone to a fellowship-meeting, and upon my return fallen again to work, I was fo confused, that I lay grovelling on the ground for fome time in great perplexity, withing I had never undertaken that work. But recovering myself, I betook myfelf to prayer; and thereafter it came so easily to hand, that I faw the finger of God in it.

According to the impreffions wherewith I was prompted to enter on trials, I began my preaching of the word in a roufing ftrain; and would fain have fet fire to the devil's nest. The first text I preached on, the Sabbath after I was licenfed, was Pfal. I. 22.; the fecond, Matth. vii. 21.; the third on a week-day, Hof, xiii. 13.; the fourth, Pfal. 1. 21; the fifth, Ezek. ix. 4.; the fixth, Prov. xxix. 1.; and the feventh, Matth, iii. 7. Thus I went on for the first two months. But fpeaking with Mr John Dyfert minifter at Coldinghame, of the ftrain of preaching I had continued in, he said to me to this purpofe: But if you were entered on preaching of Chrift, you would find it very pleafant. This had an effect on me fo far,, that immediately I did fomewhat change my ftrain; where I had occafion to enter on a new text: and then I preached, firft, on If. Ixi. 1. and next, on 1 Pet. ii. 7. I have often, fince that time, remembered that word of Mr Dy fert's, as the first hint given me, by the good hand of my God, towards the doctrine of the gospel.

The first Sabbath I preached, being timorous, I had not confidence to look on the people; though I believe I did

I distributed my thefis on that head, and was appointed to exercise and add next presbytery-day on Jude 15.

On the 1ft of June they met at Dunfe. The day before it was the great fair in that place: but I was earnest with God for his afliftance in the work before me; and was helped of him to feek his help. In the morning before I went to the kirk, I renewed covenant with God in my chamber; and I had much encouragement from the help of the prayers of my godly friends in Clackmannan, who, I trufted, were concerned for me. By a peculiar kind difpofal of Providence, when I went to the pulpit, the precentor, who used to keep an ordinary, was not come : fo, according to my own defire, I pitched on Pfal. xviii. 25.-29. and precented myfelf; and was greatly strengthened by the finging thereof. I delivered the exercife and addition on the forefaid text, being well helped of the Lord therein. I have ftill a peculiar remembrance of that part of that pfalm, as occafionally it comes in my way. admire the indulgence of Providence in that matter; for the precentor fhould have been finging when I went into, the pulpit. And withal I have often wondered, how, confidering my temper, I got confidence to give out that pfalm on that occafion: but the obvious difficulty on that head was then, for any thing I know, hid from mine eyes, which were fixed depending on God alone, accor ding to his word. They appointed me a popular fermon on John i. 16. against their next meeting, with the rest of my trials, if I could get them ready.

At Churnfide, June 15. I delivered my popular fermon on the forefaid text, as alfo a chronological difcourfe in Latin; which, with the other difcourfes aforementioned, are yet in retentis. The fame day, all the rest of my trials, viz. in the languages, and catechetics, were taken; the which last are now, and have been for many years, taken firft, with more reason. Thus all my trials being expeded, I was that day licensed to preach the gospel, as a probationer for the holy ministry, near about three years from my entering on the ftudy of divinity. And looking on myfelf as a child of Providence, and confidering the manner of my education, I cannot but obferve the kind conduct of that Providence in carrying me through fundry ftates of life, and parts of the country, in that thort time allotted for me, in the character of a student.

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by which time the prefbytery had confirmed the precentor in his office.

I was still detained in the country by the prefbytery, that I might be fettled in that parifh aforefaid. But that could not be done without my Lord Rofs's concurrence. Wherefore the prefbytery appointed Mr Colden and Mr Dyfert to fpeak to him at Edinburgh for that effect. And the former, upon his return from Edinburgh, told me, on Sept. 10. that my Lord Rofs did not refufe his concur rence; only he defired me to come to Paisley to see him, that he might go on with the greater clearnefs: and hereto he withal advised me. But I had no freedom for it. So, Oct. 5. I defired of the prefbytery my liberty to leave the country, which I had in vain defired of them three feveral times before. In answer to which, Mr Colden afterwards told me, that the prefbytery would let me go, providing I would go to Paifley to fee my Lord Rofs. I would have been content to have been providentially led to have preached in my Lord's hearing: but to go to him directly on that purpose, was what I could never digeft, though I was dunned with advice for it, and had no body to bear with me in refifting it, but the unhappy Mr JB, then living a private man in Dunfe. I confidered, that I had done all that lay in my road in the matter, having preached several times in the parish which in the defigned event was to have been my charge: they were fatisfied, and fhould have had their Christian right to chufe their minifter: I looked on the method propofed, as an interpretative feeking a call for myfelf; a fymbolifing with patronages, and below the dignity of the facred character and I never durft do any thing in these matters which might predetermine me; but behoved always to leave the matter open and entire, to lay before the Lord for light, till he should please to determine me by the discovery of his mind therein; and I could not look on the matter of my compliance with the call of Foulden as en-' tire, after I fhould have done as I was advised.

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Wherefore, upon the 13th, I infifted as before, and the prefbytery granted my defire: but withal demanded of me, 1. That I fhould preach a day at Abbay before I went away; 2. That I fhould go by Paifley, and fee my Lord Rofs; 3. That my licence fhould bear, that I should not, without their advice, engage with any parish. To

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the first and last I readily yielded; but the fecond I could by no means comply with.

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Being refolved to take my journey for the bounds of the prefbytery of Stirling, on the Tuefday after the October fynod, now at hand, I fent to the prefbytery-clerk for my licence accordingly the which I received; but fo very informal, that it could not well be prefented to a prefbytery. Whereupon I was perfuaded to go to Kelfo to the fynod, that I might get it drawn there in due form; refolving to go ftraight from thence, without returning to Dunfe. But Providence had more work for me to do at home.

The prefbytery having appointed me no where, for the third Sabbath after I was licenfed, I was invited to preach that day in the parish of Abbay, one of the four kirks of Lammermoor; the which invitation I accepted, and studied a fermon for that end on Rev. iii. 20. which I believe was never delivered. But Mr Colden being on the Saturday called to a communion at Earlfton on the morrow, I was obliged to preach for him' at Dunfe that Sabbath. The prefbytery would never fend me to the faid parish of Abbay till I was juft going out of the country, as faid is; they having a defign to tranfport unto it the Laird of Abbay, minifter of Aiton, whom they looked on as unfit for that public poft. But he being both a weak and an untender man, was unacceptable to the parish of Abbay, as well as to his brethren. By their appointment forefaid, I preached there the Sabbath before the fynod, Oct. 17. There had been before that an inclination in that parish to me to be their minister; the which was first moved to me by Abbay himself, and afterward by an elder with much affection. After being appointed to preach there, they fhewed themselves very cordial for my fettlement among them, very affectionate to me, and unwilling that I should go out of the country.

Having come to Kelso as aforefaid, the drawing up of my licence in due form was shifted and put off. It was reprefented, that a lady had engaged to write to. Lord Rofs. in my favour: I was urged to fall from my intended departure; and Mr Colden, whom I particularly regarded, told me, he thought Providence lay cross to it. So I behoved to return home again without my licence, unexpected, to my friends.

Being thus locked in at home for that feafon, I preach

by which time the prefbytery had confirmed the precentor

in his office.

I was still detained in the country by the prefbytery, that I might be fettled in that parifh aforefaid. But that could not be done without my Lord Rofs's concurrence. Wherefore the prefbytery appointed Mr Colden and Mr Dyfert to fpeak to him at Edinburgh for that effect. And the former, upon his return from Edinburgh, told me, on Sept. 10. that my Lord Rofs did not refufe his concurrence; only he defired me to come to Paisley to see him, that he might go on with the greater clearness: and hereto he withal advised me. But I had no freedom for it. So, Oct. 5. I defired of the prefbytery my liberty to leave the country, which I had in vain defired of them three feveral times before. In anfwer to which, Mr Colden afterwards told me, that the prefbytery would let me go, providing I would go to Paifley to fee my Lord Rofs. I would have been content to have been providentially led to have preached in my Lord's hearing: but to go to him directly on that purpose, was what I could never digest, though I was dunned with advice for it, and had no body to bear with me in refifting it, but the unhappy Mr JB, then living a private man in Dunfe. I confidered, that I had done all that lay in my road in the matter, having preached feveral times in the parish which in the defigned event was to have been my charge: they were fatisfied, and fhould have had their Christian right to chufe their minifter: I looked on the method propofed, as an interpretative feeking a call for myfelf; a fymbolifing with patronages, and below the dignity of the facred character and I never durft do any thing in thefe matters which might predetermine me; but behoved always to leave the matter open and entire, to lay before the Lord for light, till he should please to determine me by the dif covery of his mind therein; and I could not look on the matter of my compliance with the call of Foulden as en- ́ tire, after I fhould have done as I was advised.

Wherefore, upon the 13th, I infifted as before, and the prefbytery granted my defire: but withal demanded of me, 1. That I fhould preach a day at Abbay before I went away; 2. That I fhould go by Paifley, and fee my Lord Rofs; 3. That my licence fhould bear, that I should not, without their advice, engage with any parish. To

the