faners of marriage i. And Solomon describes the adulteress to be one that forsakes the guide of her youth, and forgets the covenant of her God, Prov. ii. 17. The next words cut off all pretences to polygamy, since the husband here consents to keep him only to her, for the Christian church hath always esteemed it unlawful to have any more wives than one; and polygamy was ever accounted as contrary to the nature and opposite to the ends of marriage as adultery itself; so that they who will not be content with one lawful wife can have none at all; but of this largely before, Partit. I. Sect. II. §. 3. The last words seem to take away all possibility of absolute and final divorce in marriage rightly made, since they consent never to take any other so long as they both shall live; so that if they should be parted for just causes as to cohabitation, yet they consent to be contented without any other wife or husband during their joint lives. For though divorces were used by the Jews in imitation of the barbarous Gentiles, yet God (saith St. Aug.) never liked it. He permitted the divorce, but commanded no more but only (that if they would needs do it) they should do it solemnly by giving them a bill. And Malachi saith plainly that God hated putting away their wives, chap. ii. 14, and our Saviour intimates as much, Matth. xix. St. Paul also saith the woman is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth, Rom. vii. 2, and that she is an adulteress if she be married to another man during his life. And the same apostle saith it is the Lord's command, Let not the wife depart from her husband; but if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband,

i Constantin. M. lib. 30. ad leg. Jul. de adult. et stupr.

1 Cor. vii. 10, 11. But of this more hereafter; only at present let us remark that there is good reason why this covenant should be made so strictly, because it must endure till death; and also to make the conditions of it so plain, that if they like not each other on these terms they may now desist. And thus much for the common duties of both, and those in special belonging to the husband.

§. IV. N. WILT THOU HAVE THIS MAN TO THY WEDDED 30 HUSBAND-WILT THOU OBEY HIM, AND SERVE HIM, &c.] There is no difference in the duties and consequently in the terms of the covenant between the man and his wife, but only that the woman is obliged to obey and serve her husband; which difference is not of our devising, but ordered by God himself, who in those places of scripture where he enjoins men to love their wives, commands the wives to be subject and obedient to their own husbands, Ephes. v. 22, 24, Colos. iii. 18, Titus ii. 5, 1 Pet. iii. 1, 5, as shall be more fully manifested afterwards, Part. III. Sect. III. §. 5, 6, 7. In the mean time we ought not to omit this condition on the wife's part, which God is pleased to require and nature admonisheth them to observe as being the weaker sex; the rules also of society make it necessary, for equality breeds contention, and there must be one of the two superior, or else both would strive perpetually for the dominion. Wherefore not only the laws of God, but the wisdom of all nations hath given the superiority to the husband'. And And among the Romans it was determined by law that the wife should

* Εἰκότας ὑποτέτακται τῷ ἀνδρὶ ἡ γυνὴ, ἡ γὰρ ἰσοτιμία μαχὴν ποιεῖ. Chrysost. ad 1 Cor. xi. 3.

1 Inferior matrona suo sit,

Prisce, marito : Non aliter fiunt foemina virque pares. Martial. Ep. lib. 8.

be subject to her husband m and call him her lord". And yet though it be so certain from reason and authority that the wife ought to obey her husband, she cannot justly complain; because this obedience and service is not that of a slave, but that of a friend and a companion, according as Valerius in Livy explains it; "The husbands ought," saith he, "to have their wives under their power, to protect them, not to enslave them, and they ought rather to desire to be called fathers than masters." It is Philo's note also, that Adam said not to God, The woman thou gavest to be under me, but to be with me°; to intimate that the wife is to be treated as a friend, not ruled rigorously like a servant; and Cicero relates that the Romans had a peculiar magistrate to take care that men did not abuse this power, but that they should rule over their wives with all gentleness. And surely it is a greater crime in Christians to be cruel and austere towards them, who know not only that they are made of the same flesh with themselves, but endued with the same rational soul, redeemed by the same Lord, and heirs together with them of the same grace and glory, 1 Pet. iii. 7. Wherefore women may and ought to submit to all that obedience which the gospel requires of them; nor have they any reason to complain with Medea that they are sold to be slaves with their own money, (which St. Ambrose urgeth to persuade his virgins not to marry',) because there is really no slavery

m Ulpian. 1. alia. 14. D. solut. Matrimon.

n L. Ea quæ. 57. D. de donat. inter virum et ux. itemque Servius ad lib. 4. Æneid.

ο Εὖ, τὸ μὴ φάναι, ἡ γυνὴ ἢν ἔδωκας ἐμοὶ, ἀλλὰ μετ ̓ ἐμοῦ. Phil.

in Gen. ii. 12.

P Cicero de Repub. lib. 4. 9 Euripides in Med. ap. Hotman. p. 302.

r Quæ nupserit ad servitu tem, sua pecunia venditur. Ambros. Exhort. ad Virgin.

in this obedience which springs from love to their husbands, and is paid in respect to the dignity of the nobler sex, and in requital for that protection which the weaker sex both needs and enjoys in this holy estate. And the obedient wife finds it is her interest as well as her duty to be thus observant, because thereby she gains so much love and respect from her husband that he can deny her no reasonable request; which was wisely signified by a great and excellent man of our own nation, who chose for the motto of his wedding ring Parendo imperes, by "obeying you may bear rule;" for it is evident that by performing their husband's will they oblige him to grant them their own desire; and therefore Verrius Flaccus in Macrobius saith, the Roman ladies did the next day after their nuptials sacrifice to the married woman's freedom3, as then beginning to enter upon an auspicious kind of liberty. All which doth manifest that it is not only an impious contempt of divine authority, but egregious pride and folly for any woman to refuse to promise or to pay this generous obedience to their husbands, which is their great advantage, if they have wisdom to understand and skill to manage it aright.

§. V. Answ. I WILL] The whole matter being thus 31 plainly propounded to each party, the answer must not be sudden; for they must seriously consider whether they have any objections against the person, the state of life, or the duties thereunto annexed; they must think whether they can love them and only them, and that in all estates and always. These things should have been considered before, for hasty choices make long repentance. It was for this reason that God commanded the Jewish soldier, who should desire to

s Macrob. Saturnal. lib. 5. cap. 15.

COMBER, VOL. IV.

G

take a beautiful captive to his wife, not to marry her presently, but to cause her to shave her head and suffer her nails to grow, and to put on mourning for a whole month, Deut. xxi. 12, 13, that so when she was stripped of all her natural and artificial ornaments, and he had so much time to consider, he might possibly change his mind and not marry a heathen and a slave. And if these parties have considered this matter as long, then their answer will be more easy and upon better grounds; if not it is now almost too late, and yet they may still repent before they have openly declared their consent in these solemn words, I will, which are the proper words that oblige in compacts, as the famous Justinian notest. Wherefore after we have once pronounced these words we are then bound to make good our promise; and if we start back from it we shall have as many witnesses of our falsehood as there are persons present at this solemnity, viz. God and his holy angels, the minister, and all the congregation; in respect to which venerable presence we must speak these words with all deliberate gravity, and make them good with all possible sincerity.

32

SECTION II.

OF THE MUTUAL STIPULATION.

§. I. BEFORE we come to treat of the stipulation itself, there are two remarkable ceremonies, which being very significant must not be passed by; and yet

t Verbis obligatio contrahitur ex interrogatione et responsione, cum quid dari fierive nobis stipulamur-In hac re olim talia verba tradita fuerunt.

Spondes? spondeo: Promittis? promitto: Facies? faciam. Institut. lib. 3. de Verb. Oblig. tit. 16.