"

and an air of Galuppi's, which begins thus ;

Voi che languite fenza fperanza.

Both the one and the other were fung, very indifferently for a Frenchman, and badly for an Ita. lian, by a man accustomed folely to French mufic, and at that time an enthusiast for Remeau. I obferved that my Armenian, during the French fong, expreffed much more furprise than pleasure but every body took notice that his countenance and eyes brightened up, and that he was inftantly affected with the very first notes of the Italian. He appeared indeed enchanted, and gave himself up entirely to the im. preffions of the mufic; the fimple founds, for he understood hardly any thing of the language, giving him an evident delight. From that time he would never liften to a French air.

But without going a broad for examples, have we not many perfons among ourselves who being acquainted only with our own operas, really conceived they had no manner of tafte for finging, and were undeceived only by the Italian interludes. They imagined they did not love mufic, for the very reason that proved they liked only that which was really fuch.

I must confefs that fo many facts made me doubt of the existence of French melody; and raised a fufpicion that it was only a kind of modulated full chorus, that had nothing in it agreeable of itself; pleafing only by the help of certain adventitious and arbitrary ornaments, and to fuch only as were prepoffeffed in its favour. For we find that our mufic is hardly fupport. able even to our own ears, when it is executed by indifferent voices, who cannot make the most of it. It requires a Fel and a Jeliotte to fing French mufic: but every voice is good for the Italian; because the beauties of the latter are in the mufic itfelf, whereas thofe of the French, if it has any, depend all on the abilities of the finger*.

There are three things which to me appear to concur in the perfec tion of Italian melody. The first is the sweetness of the language, which, making all its inflections eafy, leaves the genius of the mufician at liberty to make a more exquifite choice, to give a greater variety to his combinations; and affign to every actor a particular turn, fo that each may have his own peculiar manner to diftinguish him from the rest.

The fecond is the boldnefs of the modulations, which, although less fervilely prepared than ours, are

rendered

rendered more agreeable in being rendered more fenfible, and without giving any harshness to the fong, add a lively energy to the expreffion. It is by means of this the mufician, paffing fuddenly from one key or mode to another, and fuppreffing, when neceffary, the intermediate and pedantic tranfitions, is capable of exprefling thofe referves, interruptions, and parenthefes, which are the language of the impetuous paffions; and which the glowing Metaftafio, Porpora, Galuppi, Cocchi, Jumella, Perez, and Terra-Deglia have fo often and fo fuccefsfully employed; while our lyric poets know just as little of them as our musicians.

The third advantage, and that which gives to melody its greatest effect, is the extreme exactnefs of time which is obfervable in the graveft as well as the livelieft movements: an exactness which renders the finging animated and intereft ing, the accompaniments lively and flowing, which really multi. plies the tunes, by making in one combination of founds as many different melodies as there are methods of fcanning them : an exactnefs which conveys every fentiment to the heart, and every image to the understanding; which furnishes the musician with the means of giving to words all imaginable characters, many of which we have no idea of, and which renders the movements proper to exprefs all thofe characters, or a fingle movement proper to contraft and change the character at the pleasure of the compofer,

The history of Nonfenfe.

HERE is no race of people

THE

that has been more confpicuous, in almost every relation of life, than the illuftrious family of Nonfenfe. In every age of the world they have fhone forth with uncommon luftre, and have made a wonderful progrefs in all the arts and fciences. They have, at different feafons, delivered fpeeches from the throne, harangued at the bar, debated in parliament, and gone amazing lengths in philofophical enquiries and metaphyfical difquifitions.

In a word, the whole hiftory of the world, moral and political, is but a Cyclopædia of Nonfenfe. For which reafon, confidering the dignity and importance of the family, and the infinite fervice it has been of to me and many of my cotem. poraries, I have refolved to oblige the public with a kind of abftract of the hiftory of Nonsense.

Nonfenfe was the daughter of ig. norance, begot on falfehood, many years ago, in a dark cavern in Boetia. As he grew up, the inherited all the qualities of her parents; the difcovered too warm a genius to require being fent to fchool; but, while other dull brats were poring over an horn-book, fhe amufed herself with spreading fantaftical lies, taught her by her mamma, and which have, in latter ages, been familiarly known to us under the names of fham, banter, and humbug.

When fhe grew up, the received the addreffes, and foon became the wife of impudence. Who he was, or of what profeffion, is uncertain; fome fay he was the fon of igno rance by another venture, and was

fuffered

fuffered to become the husband of nonfenfe in thofe dark ages of the world, as the Ptolemies of Egypt married their own fifters. Some record, that he was in the army: others, that he was an interpreter of the laws; and others, a divine. However this was, nonfenfe and impudence were foon infeparably united to each other, and became the founders of a more noble and numerous family than any yet preferved on any tree of defcent what foever; of which ingenious device they were faid to have been the first inventors.

It is my chief intent, at prefent, to record the great exploits of that branch of the family, who have made themfelves remarkable in England, though they began to fignalize themfelves very early, and are ftill very flourishing in moft parts of the world. Many of them were Egyptian priefts four thoufand years ago, and told the people, that it was religion to worship dogs, monkeys, and green leeks; and their defcendants prevailed on the Greeks and Romans to build temples in honour of fuppofed deities, who were, in their own eftimation of them, whores and whore-mongers, pickpockets and drunkards.

Others rofe up fome ages after in Turkey, and perfuaded the people to embrace the doctrine of bloodshed and the fword, in the name of the moft merciful God. And others have manifefted their lineal defcent from nonfenfe and impudence, by affirming that there is no God at all. There were alfo among them many fhrewd philofophers: fome of whom, though they were racked with a fit of the ftone, or laid up with a gouty toe, declared that

they felt not the leaft degree of pain: and others would not truft their own eyes; but, when they faw an horfe or a dog, could not tell whether it was not a chair or a table, and even made a doubt of their own existence.

We have no certain account of the progrefs of nonfenfe here in England, till after the reformation. All we hear of her and her progeny before that period of time is, that they led a lazy life among the monks in cloyfters and convents,dreaming over old legends of faints, drawing up breviaries and mafs-books, and ftringing together fome barbarous Latin verfes in rhime.

In the days of queen Elizabeth, fo little encouragement was given to her family, that it feemed to have been almoft extinct; but, in the fucceeding reign, it flourished again, and filled the most confider. able offices in the nation.

Nonfenfe became a great favour. ite at court, where he was highly careffed on account of her wit, which confifted in puns and quibbles; and the bonny monarch himfelf was thought to take a more than ordinary delight in her converfation. At this time many of her progeny took orders, and got themfelves preferred to the best livings, by turning the evangelifts into punfters, and making St. Paul quibble from the pulpit. Among the reft their was a bishop, a favourite fon of nonfenfe, of whom it is particularly recorded, that he ufed to tickle his courtly audience, by telling them that matrimony was become a matter of money, with many other right reverend jefts recorded by Joe Miller.

Several brothers of this family were likewife bred to the bar, and

very gravely harangued against old women fucked by devils in the hape of ram-cats, &c.

As an inftance of their profound wifdom and fagacity, I need only mention that juft and truly pious act of parliament made against the crying fin of witchcraft, 1 Jac. I. chap. 12. "Such as fhall ufe invocation or conjuration of any evil fpirit, or fhall confult, covenant with, entertain, employ, fee, or reward, any evil fpirit, to any intent, or take up any dead perfon, or part thereof, to be used in witchcraft, or have used any of the faid arts, whereby any perfon fhall be killed, confumed, or lamed in his or her body, they, together with their acceffaries before the fact, fhall fuffer as felons, without be. nefit of clergy."

In the troublefome times of king Charles the First, nonfenfe and her family fided with the parliament. they fet up new fects in religion: fome of them cropped their hair fhort, and called themfelves the enlightened; fome fell into trances, and pretended to fee holy vifions; while others got into tubs, and held forth, with many whinings and groans, and fauffling through the nose.

In the merry days of king Charles the Second, nonfenfe affumed a more gay and libertine air; and her progeny, from fanatics, became downright infidels. Several courtiers of the family wrote lewd plays, as well as lufcious love-fongs, and other loose verses, which were col. lected together, and greedily bought up in mifcellanies.

In the fucceeding reign, fome of the kindred, who had received their education at St. Omer's, thought themselves on the point of eftablish

2

ing nonfenfe in church and ftate, and were preparing to make bonfires on the occafion in Smithfield, when they were obliged to leave the kingdom.

Since the revolution, the field of politics has afforded large fcope for nonienfe and her family to make themselves remarkable. Hence arofe the various fects in party, diftinguished by the name of whig and tory, minifterial and Jacobite, Sunderlandians, Oxfordians, Godolphinians, Bolingbrokians, Walpolians, Pelhamians, &c. &c. &c. names which have kindled as hot a war in pamphlets and journals, as the Guelphs and Gibilines in Italy, or the Big and Little Indians in the kingdom of Lilliput.

I have here endeavoured to give a fhort abridgement of the hiftory of nonfenfe; though a very small part of the exploits of the family can be included in fo compendious a chronicle. Some of them were very deep scholars, and filled the profeffors chairs at the universities. They compofed many elaborate differtations, to convince the world, that two and two make four; and difcovered, by dint of fyllogifm, that white is not black. Their inquiries in natural philofophy were no lefs extraordinary: many fpent their lives and their fortunes in attempting to difcover a wonderful ftone, that should turn every baser metal into gold; and others employed themfelves in making arti ficial wings, by the help of which they fhould fly up into the world of the moon. Another branch of the family took to the Belles Lettres, and were the original found. ers of the learned fociety of Grubstreet.

Never was any æra, in the annals

of