not be more trampled upon, were I a fallen MINISTER OF STATE. The people have found out that I am in disgrace, and all the cry is curramus præcipites, et dum jacet in ripa, calcemus Cæsaris hostem.* My few well-wishers are afraid to speak to me; some have turned out of the way to avoid me: others have desired that I would not take it ill if they seemed not to know me when we should meet. The servant that used to wash my linen, sent it back unwashed. It was great cause of triumph that I was forbid the use of Mr. Oglethorpe's things; which in effect debarred me of most of the conveniences, if not the necessaries of life-I sometimes pitied them, and sometimes diverted myself with the odd expressions of their contempt: but I found the benefit of having undergone a much lower degree of obloquy at Oxford."

April 1. "In the midst of the morning service, a poor scout-boat-man was brought in, who was almost killed by the bursting of a cannon. I found him senseless

and dying; and all I could do, was to pray for him, and try by his example to wake his two companions. He languished till the next day, and then died.— Hitherto I have been borne up by a spirit not my own: but exhausted nature sinks at last. It is amazing she has held out so long. My outward hardships and inward conflicts; the bitterness of reproach from the only man I wished to please, at last have worn down my boasted courage. Accordingly this afternoon, I was forced by a friendly fever to take my bed. My sickness, I knew, could not be of long continuance, as I was in want of every help and convenience; it must either soon leave me, or release me from further sufferings. In the evening Mr. Hird and Mr. Robinson called to see me, and offered me all the assistance in their power. I thanked them, but desired they would

not

* "Let us run quick, and while he is down let us trample on the enemy of Cæsar."

not prejudice themselves by taking this notice of me. At that instant we were alarmed with a cry of the Spaniards being come; we heard many guns fired, and saw the people fly in great consternation to the fort. I felt not the least disturbance or surprise; bid the women not fear, for God was with us. In a few minutes, news was brought, that it was only a contrivance of Mr. Oglethorpe's, to try the people. My charitable visitants then left me, and soon returned with some gruel, which threw me into a sweat. The next morning, April 2, they ventured to call again—at night, when my fever was somewhat abated, I was led out to bury the scout-boat-man, and envied him his quiet grave, April 3. I found nature endeavouring to throw off the disease by excessive sweating, I therefore drank whatever the women brought me.-April 4. My flux returned; but notwithstanding this, I was obliged to go abroad, and preach and administer the sacrament, My sermon on, "Keep innocency and take heed to the thing that is right, for this shall bring a man peace at the last," was decyphered into a satire against Mrs. H.-At night I got an old bedstead to sleep upon, being that on which the scout-boat-man had died. April 6. I found myself so faint and weak, that it was with the utmost difficulty I got through the prayers. Mr. Davison, my good Samaritan, would often call or send his wife to attend me, and to their care, under God, I owe my life. To-day Mr. Oglethorpe gave away my bedstead from under me, and refused to spare one of the carpenters to mend me up another."

April 10. "Mr. Reed waked me with the news that my brother and Mr. Delamotte were on their way to Frederica. I found the encouragement I sought, in the scripture for the day, Psalm lii. "Why boastest thou thyself, thou tyrant, that thou canst do mischief,

whereas

whereas the goodness of God endureth yet daily. Thy tongue imagineth wickedness, and with lies thou cuttest like a sharp razor," &c.-At six my brother and Mr. Delamotte landed, when my strength was so exhausted, that I could not have read prayers once more.-He helped me into the woods, for there was no talking among a people of spies and ruffians; nor even in the woods, unless in an unknown tongue-And yet Mr. Oglethorpe received my brother with abundant kindness-I began my account of all that had passed, and continued it till prayers. It would be needless to mention all the Scriptures, which, for so many days have been adapted to my circumstances. But I cannot pass by the lesson for this evening, Heb. xi. I was ashamed of having well nigh sunk under my sufferings, when I beheld the conflicts of those triumphant sufferers of whom the world was not worthy. April 11. What words could more support our confidence, than the following, out of the Psalms for the day?" Be merciful unto me, () God, for man goeth about to devour me. He is daily fighting and troubling me.-Mine enemies be daily in hand to swallow me up, for they be many that fight against me--I will put my trust in God, and will not fear what flesh can do unto me. They daily mistake my words," &c. The next Psalm was equally animating-" Be merciful unto me, O God, for my soul trusteth in thee; and under the shadow of thy wings shall be my refuge, till this tyranny be overpast. I will call unto the most high God, even unto the God that shall perform the cause that I have in hand-My soul is among lions; and lie even among the children of men that are set on fire, whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword," &c.-I just recovered strength enough to consecrate at the sacrament, my brother performed the rest. We

then

then went out of the reach of informers, and I proceeded in my account, being fully persuaded of the truth of Mrs. W's information against Mr. Oglethorpe, Mrs. H. and herself. At noon my brother repeated to me his last conference with Mrs. W. in confirmation of all she had ever told me."

April 16. "My brother prevailed with me to break a resolution which honour and indignation had induced me to form, of starving rather than ask for necessaries. Accordingly I went to Mr. Oglethorpe, and asked for some little things I wanted. He sent for me back and said, Pray Sir, sit down, I have something to say to you; I hear you have spread several reports about.

"The next day my brother and Mr. Delamotte set out in an open boat for Savannah. I preached in the afternoon, on "He that now goeth on his way weeping and beareth good seed, shall doubtless come again with joy, and bring his sheaves with him." Eastereve, April 24, I was sent for at 10 by Mr. Oglethorpe. "Mr. Wesley, you know what has passed between us. I took some pains to satisfy your brother about the reports concerning me, but in vain; he here renews his suspicion in writing. I did desire to convince him, because I had an esteem for him; and he is just as considerable to me as my esteem makes him. I could clear up all, but it matters not, you will soon see the reason of my actions. I am now going to death, you will see me no more. Take this ring, and carry it from me to Mr. V. if there be a friend to be depended on, he is one. His interest is next to Sir Robert's; whatever you ask, within his power, he will do for you, your brother, and family. I have expected death for some days. These letters shew that the Spaniards have long been seducing our Allies, and intend to cut us off at a blow I fall by my friends, on whom I

depended

But

depended to send their promised succours. death is nothing to to me; I will pursue all my designs, and to Him I recommend them and you." He then gave me a diamond ring; I took it, and said, “If, postremum fato quod te alloquor, hoc est,* hear, what you will quickly know to be a truth as soon as you are entered on a separate state; this ring I shall never make use of for myself: I have no worldly hopes, I have renounced the world-Life is bitterness to me— -I came hither to lay it down-You have been deceived as well as I-I protest my innocence of the crimes I am charged with, and think myself now at liberty to tell you what I thought never to have uttered." It is probable that he unfolded to Mr. Oglethorpe the whole plot, as Mrs. W. had discovered it to him.

"When I had finished this relation he seemed entirely changed; full of his old love and confidence in me. After some expressions of kindness, I asked him, Are you now satisfied? He replied, "Yes intirely." Why then Sir, I desire nothing more on earth, and care not how soon I follow you. He added, how much he desired the conversion of the heathen, and believed my brother intended for it. But I believe, said I, it will never be under your patronage; for then men would account for it, without taking God into the account. He replied, I believe so too-Then embraced and kissed me with the most cordial affection. I attended him to the scout-boat, where he waited some minutes for his sword. They brought a mourning sword the first and a second time; at last they gave him his own, which had been his father's-With this sword, said he, I was never yet unsuccessful. When the boat put off, I ran into the woods to see my last of him. Seeing

“• This be the last time I am allowed to speak to you."

me