pear, only within the limitation of our great, wile, and benevolent mother, from whom and through whom we receive our being, and every bleffing we enjoy, expect, with or cover, from this time forth for evermore, greeting. Be it my dear and beloved children, with whom I am in labour until now, known, that ye hold yourfelves in readinefs, according, and in due fubordination to this our mandate erected, built, and founded on the firm principle and bulwark of fubftantiality, proved, confented and allowed by the five fenfes; that is to fay, feeing or fpying, hearing, tafting, fmelling and feeling; which are the principles that form and compose our new philofophy, of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere. Item, be it known that we are approved of, and felected by the unanimous and fubftantial body of new philofophers, of this ou enlightened age and northern hemifphere, chief and prime Pig, and first in repute, to watch over, iffue decrees, and fet free from ftings and remorfe which infect and teaze the heart; alfo fhame and difmay which teaze the aforefaid, and rob, pilfer, and maim the injured captive: all and every reftraint are by the aforelaid commiffion and authority fecluded; fo that peace, harmony, good-fellowship, jollity, merriment, mirth, laughter, funninels, and in a word every happiness and diverfion, with unremitted pleasure wherever we go. Item, No neighbour in futore of the feathered race, to be plucked, or neighbour of the four-footed be sheared, but good manners and neighbourly agreement,

with voluptuous harmony reign free coft. Item, the extraordinary indulgence bequeathed unto the fhe-pigs, or new female philofophers of our enlightened age, and wherefoever our enlightened authority extends and commands reach, int addition to pure nature, in drefs is, a wreath of flowers about the head, and a jerkin or ftrait jacket or bandage, twelve inches in length, beginning under or below the breaft or paps, and finishing or ending above the mole or navel. The he or male pigs fomething similar to the jerkin, but different head-drefs, fay, a close cotton cap. Item, to remove fcandal, mifconception or demur, and take away ftumblingblocks that may arife either through prejudice, mifconftruction, or malic and flander, that I, being first in eminence in proteftantifim, fhould be fo in materialifm. Know ye, therefore, and be it decreed, that Proteftantifm protefts and prohibits all Catholic or general laws that went and were received until that or their epoch, which we term vagaries and whims of fpirit, dreams of old women, in order to give place to fubftantiality, which firm both proteftantifm and materialism are grounded upon, and are Coufin Germans, fpringing from one ocean of fweetneffes. Proteftantifin is founded upon this unalterable and fubftantial fact; that is to fay, every man adheres to his pofitive opinion, which proceeds from his brain. Materialifm believes, as they do, in the brain. Proteftantifim was adopted by Martin Luther, when the morning dawn of our Bright Luminary, new Philofophy, glimmered and peeped through the black

regions

regions of ignorance, horror, and despair, which dawn commenced in the fixteenth century, but fo great a work (as the fun) requires its proper time to arrive at its zenith, or meridian plenitude, which unfathomable, inebriating and ineffable bleffing now is perfected in this our en-. lightened age and northern hemifphere, as you know, and will give ample teftimony, which will be a convincing example to all future ge

nerations.

Item, The old christian world being thought in the beginning to be a fabric impeccable, our first progenitors, or great patriarchs, wink at the. fpirit. This they knew proper, as the enormous fabric of the chriftian world was built upon the fpirit, which was deep-rooted in our hearts; but to our great and immortal splendour, darknefs has taken her flight, the day-ftar is feated in the midst of our hearts, the little remains of fpiritual anguifh, fhame and remorfe left standing in the times of our proteftant forefathers and unweeded, are now, by our decree, done away, or rather fanctioned, ratified, and confirmed, by this broad feal of our authority, being and proceeding from the centre of unity, or grand link of refinement, which uncloifters the heretofore proteftant church of the pretend-. ed fpiritual clouts or rags, that fhe, through fhame, pride, or remorfe, fuffered to remain; but now, in our enlightened age, is cleanfed, and, like polished fteel, fprings and with heartfelt joy cling to the adamant, with embraces of enchanting, focial love, clafp, hug, welcome, and, with energetic zeal, engender, refinement

of

of the most exquifite and foft delights, repofed in the lap of amorous inclination.

Item, It is, therefore, decreed, from the date of these presents, and it is decreed and enacted accordingly, that from henceforward, that as it was thought proteftantifm and materialism were two opinions, we have fet forth, explained and proved this fuppofition to be erroneous, and that it iffued from, and through ignorance of our liege pigs, or malice of our adverfaries, we now repeat and establish firm and fubftantially, abfolutely and bona fide, that Materialifm is. Proteftantifm refined, polifhed and made perfect; and from this date it is fo decreed. Given under our broad feal, 1785.

Mofes. I obferve, in fome parts of your decrée, you confider the heart as the most noble part of man.

Club. Most truly the heart principally governs; it is the feat of the will; it accepts or repels, without fubjection, the will; commands, directs, defires, purpofes, makes its refolves, places its affections, and in diftrefs, forrow, pleasure, or any part whatfoever is the part af fected, in this feat or repofitory (the heart) the old spiritual errors governed and inflicted man; and it is an old obfervation, that the ftings of confcience wounds the heart, or wounds the foul, putting them upon an equality without diftinction. It was, we allow, in the days of error, the proper part to feat the foul, the qua lity or property of which, confcience being there placed, fixed, and crowned King, enthroned, wielding the royal fceptre, fuing his

edicts, attended with menaces, which tung and griped the poor deluded captive with remorfe when not complied with. Your fcriptures abound with threatenings against the obftinate, flinty and ftony heart; alfo due praife is given to the loving and dutiful. I have found David a man after my own heart, feeking the Lord; and another fcripture, Son, give me your heart; fo that we find in all matters, commendable and difcommendable, the heart is agent, to whom all things were intrufted and enjoined, and from whom due obedience was expected. All the aforefaid we are apprized of, and was found neceffary while they were under the rule and fubject to a fuperior or fpiritual jurifdiction. But now the fpirit is exploded and taken away, it is found neceffary to remove the feat of empire, in imitation of Conftantine the Great, who confidered it proper not to erect chriftianity on the fpot of heathenifm. So we, in like fort, have removed the feat of empire from the heart, and confirmed it on the brain.

Mofes. The foul animates and gives life to man, will, memory, and understanding are the qualities or faculties of the foul; it acts on the brain, its feat, where it displays its understanding and memory; its will is lodged in the heart, which is more immediately the feat of freeagency, where all matters and concerns are referred to, and are there ratified and refolved upon or rejected. The will, according to fcripture, and our own feelings, is the fuperior and chief agent, from whom a fcrutiny will be exacted; the brain is bufy inveftigating and paint