vail with God; but still I was disappointed. I cried to God; but my heart was so hard, that I feared it did not go with my lips. I strove, but it was so coldly, that often I had fits of drowsiness even in my prayers. When overcome with heaviness, I went to bed, beseeching God to spare me till next day, that I might renew my wrestling with him till I should prevail.

"On Sunday the 19th, in the evening, I heard an excellent sermon on these words,- Being justified by faith, we have peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ.' I heard it attentively, but my heart was not moved in the least; I was only still more convinced, that I was an unbeliever, that I was not justified by faith, and that till I was, I should never have peace with God. The hymn after the sermon suited the subject; but I could not join in singing it. So I sat mourning, whilst others rejoiced in God their Saviour. I went home, still resolving to wres tle with the Lord like Jacob, till I should become a prevailing Israel.

"I begged of God, the following day, to shew me the wickedness of my heart, and to fit me for his pardoning mercy. I besought him to increase my convictions, for I was afraid I did not mourn enough for my sins. But I found relief in Mr. Wesley's Journal, where I learned that we should not build on what we feel; but go to Christ with all our sins and all our hardness of heart. On the 21st, I began to write part of what filled my heart, namely, a confession of my sins, misery, and helplessness, together with a resolution to seek Christ even unto death. But my business calling me away, I had no heart to resume the subject. In the evening I read the Scriptures, and found a sort of pleasure in seeing a picture of my wickedness so exactly drawn in the third chapter of the epistle to the Romans, and that of my condition in the seventh. And now I felt some hope, that God would carry on in me the work he had begun. I often wished to be acquainted with some

one who had been just in my state, and resolved to seek for one to whom I might unbosom my whole soul and apply for advice. As I had heard that mourners sometimes found comfort in reading over any particular text of scripture they opened upon, I opened the Bible once, for that purpose; but I found nothing that gave me comfort, and so I did it no more, for fear of tempting God.

"Thursday, my fast-day, Satan beset me hard : I sinned, and grievously too. And now I almost gave up all hope. I mourned deeply, but with an heart as hard as ever. I was on the brink of despair, and continued nevertheless to fall into sin, as often as I was assaulted with temptation. But I must observe, that all this while, though I had a clear sense of my wickedness, and of what I deserved; and though I often thought that hell would be my portion, if God did not soon pity me, yet I never was much afraid of it. Whether this was owing to a secret hope lodged in my mind, or to hardness of heart, I know not; but I was continually crying out, What stupidity! I see myself hanging as by a thread over hell! and yet I am not afraid-but sin on! O what is man without the grace of God! a very devil in wickedness, though inferior to him in experience and power. In the evening I went to a friend, and told him something of my present state; he endeavoured to administer comfort, but it did not suit my case there is no peace to a sinner unless it come from above. When we parted, he gave me some advice which suited my condition better. God (said he) is merciful; God loves you; and if he deny you any thing, it is for your good; you deserve nothing at his hands, wait then patiently for him, and never give up your hope.' I went home resolved to follow his advice, though I should stay till death.

"I had proposed to receive the Lord's-supper the following Sunday, I therefore returned to my room, and looked out a sacramental hymn. I learned it by heart,

C

and prayed it over many times, sometimes with heaviness enough, at others with some devotion, intending to repeat it at the table. I then went to bed, commending myself to God with rather more hope and peace than I had felt for some time. But Satan waked, whilst I slept. I dreamed I had committed grievous and abominable sins; I awoke amazed and confounded, and rising, with a detestation of the corruption of my senses and imagination, I fell upon my knees, and prayed with more faith and less wanderings than usual; and afterwards went about my business with an uncommon cheerfulness. It was not long before I was tempted by my besetting sin, but found myself a new creature. My soul was not even ruffled. I took not much notice of it at first; but having withstood two or three temptations, and feeling peace in my soul, through the whole of them, I began to think it was the Lord's doing. Afterwards it was suggested to me that it was great presumption for such a sinner to hope for so great a mercy. However, I prayed I might not be permitted to fall into a delusion; but the more I prayed, the more I saw it was real. For though sin stirred all the day long, I always overcame it in the name of the Lord.

"In the evening, I read the experiences of some of God's children, and found my case agreed with their's and suited the sermon I had heard on justifying faith; so that my hope increased. I entreated the Lord to do to his servant according to his mercy, and take all the glory to himself. I prayed earnestly and with an humble assurance, though without great emotions of joy, that I might have dominion over sin, and peace with God; not doubting but that joy and a full assurance of faith would be imparted to me in God's good time. I continued calling upon the Lord for an increase of faith; for still I felt some fear of being in a delusion: and having continued my supplication till near one in the morning, I then opened my Bible on these words, Psa. lv. 22. "Cast thy burden on the Lord, and he

shall sustain thee; he will not suffer the righteous to be moved" Filled with joy, I fell again on my knees to beg of God, that I might always cast my burden upon him. I took up my Bible again, and opened it on these words, Deut. xxxi. "I will be with thee, I will not fail thee, neither forsake thee; fear not, neither be dismayed." My hope was now greatly increased, I thought I saw myself conqueror over sin, hell, and all manner of affliction.

"With this comfortable promise I shut up my Bible, being now perfectly satisfied. As I shut it, I cast my eye on that word, "Whatsoever you shall ask in my name, I will do it." So having asked grace of God to serve him till death, I went cheerfully to take my rest.”

So far we have Mr. Fletcher's account written with his own hand. To this I add what Mrs. Fletcher says she heard him speak concerning his experience at this time, viz. that he still continued to plead with the Lord to take more full possession of his heart, and sought with unwea ried assiduity to receive a brighter manifestation of God's love to his soul: till one day, as he was in earnest prayer, lying prostrate on his face before the Lord, he had a view, by faith, of our Saviour hanging and bleeding on the cross, and at the same time, these words were applied with power to his heart:

"Seiz'd by the rage of sinful men,

I see Christ bound, and bruis'd and slain :
"Tis done, the martyr dies!

His life to ransom our's, is given,
And lo! the fiercest fire of heaven

Consumes the sacrifice.

He suffers both from men and God,
He bears the universal load

Of guilt and misery!
He suffers to reverse our doom,
And lo, my Lord is here become

The Bread of Life to me!

Now all his bonds were broken: he breathed a purer air, and was able to say with confidence, The life I now

live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.' By means of this faith his soul was freed, and sin was put under his feet. Knowing in whom he had believed he could triumph in the Lord, and praise the God of his salvation.

FROM HIS CONVERSION TO HIS TAKING ORDERS, AND ENTERING UPON THE WORK OF THE MINISTRY.

It was not long after he had himself felt the powers of the world to come, that he was pressed in spirit, to exhort others to seek after the same blessing. And he was the more strongly excited to this, by seeing the world all around him lying in wickedness. Being deeply sensible of the goodness of God on the one hand, and of the misery of mankind on the other, he found an earnest longing

"To pluck poor brands out of the fire,

To snatch them from the verge of hell."

This he began to do a considerable time before he was admitted into holy orders. And even his first labours of love were far from being in vain. For though he was by no means perfect in the English tongue, particularly with regard to the pronunciation of it; yet the earnestness with which he spoke, (seldom to be found in English preachers) and the unspeakably tender affection to poor, undone sinners, which breathed in every word and gesture, drew multitudes of people to hear him: and by the blessing of God, his word made so deep an impression on their hearts, that very few went empty away.

About this time his father died, as appears by the following letter, addressed to Mr. Richard Edwards, of London, to whose care, as a leader, he was committed, when he was first received into the Methodist Society in London. It was dated Tern, October 19, 1756.