SECOND PHYSICIAN. Worfe and worfe! I find I must give him a larger dofe than I thought on; and it may kill him, for I told you it works with great violence. CRITICK. Faith give it him all. Though it should kill him, there's no harm done. This fellow, if let alone, will poifon the fpeech of the whole nation. JN. 1 beseech you, gentlemen, to relax the mufcles of your difciplinarian moroseness. I perceive that you are invidious of the high feat which my gigantick and stupen. duous intelligence, that grafps a fyftem by intuition, has obtained on the pinnacles of art, and lofty towers of ferene learning; that you are betrayed by paffion into a thousand ridiculous and mifchievous acts. of fupplantation and detraction; that you would gladly lure me into drowsy equilibrations of undetermined councils; and congealing my intellectual powers in perpetual inactivity, by the fatal influence of frigorifick wifdom, would deprive me of the stamp of literary fanction, which my works have received from the diffemination of a rapid fale, and above all, from the annual emanation of royal munificence, the very mention of which muft drive competition into the caverns of envy, and make difcontent tremble at her own murmurs.* CRITICK. What can the folemn fop mean by the annual emanation of royal munificence? SECOND PHYSICIAN. What! don't you know he has a penfion of three hundred a year from the privy purfe? *Ramb. No. 190. CRITICK Befides being Lexicographer, Grammarian, Poet, Critick, Play-wright, Effayift and Novellift, all which Lexiphanes is to a very eminent degree, it feems he is alfo a fort of prophet. At least, I cannot help thinking, when he wrote his definitions of the word Penfion, that he must have been under the influence of a prophetical spirit, if not the fecond fight, for which, a witty but unfortunate man has ridiculed the Scotch nation, as being a fuperftition peculiar to them, though 'tis, in truth, a very ancient and univerfal fuperftition, many traces of it CRITICK. Where is the merit that entitles him to that rare favour and distinction *? When you fay he is not altogether void of fenfe and meaning, though frequently an odd fort it being found in Homer, and fome even in Shakefpear. In the first place, Lexiphanes defines a penfion to be an allowance given without any equivalent; and fecondly, the pay of a state-hireling for treafon against his country. Now I can hardly think that either of thefe definitions ever became entirely juft, till Lexiphanes himself became a penfioner. For if his merit in authorfhip is the equivalent for his allowance, I make bold to fay, that merit, if not negative, is at least, to use a word of his own, entirely evanefcent, and of course, no equivalent at all. In the next place, though it cannot be alleged he was ever guilty of treafon against the constitution of his country, yet there are, in his writings, numberless treasonable practices against its language, the purity of which, next to the prefervation of our conftitution, our glory abroad and happiness at home, is, methinks, the most important, and ought to be the most universal concern. I have heard it whifpered, that the real cause which procured Lexiphanes his penfion, was the contempt and averfion he is well known to entertain for the Scotch nation and their innocent country. It seems, the great man at that time was afraid he might conjoin his powers of altercation and detractation, to two very witty and ingenious men, who, through caprice or faction, were then abufing a people very grofsly, whom, 'tis faid, they were far from difliking in their hearts. But this anecdote is, methinks, extremely improbable; for I can never imagine that a mini fort of one, and always more oddly expreffed, you have faid all you can with justice fay in his behalf. SECOND PHYSICIAN. Why, he tells you himself, his works have been diffeminated by a rapid fale, and bis gigantick and ftupenduous intelligence bas obtained a feat on the pinnacle of arts and lofty towers of ferene learning. CRITICK. Three hundred a year! Sdeath, 'tis impoffible. It must be a lie, by all that's good, and I won't believe it. a minifter, who relying, it may be prefumed, on the rectitude of his meafures, and confcious uprightnefs of his heart, fo nobly, I will not fay politically, neglected fuch men as Wilkes and Churchill, would ever stoop to purchase the filence only of a Lexiphanes at fo high a price: for I have not heard he hath ever employed his powers of celebration in the cause of his patron, at least I do not remember to have feen his very remarkable cloven foot in the party wranglings of that period. Be this, however, as it will, it implies, at any rate, a very fevere fatyr against the taste of the publick, which, 'twas fuppofed, could be influenced by any thing faid on either fide of the question, by that heavy affected pedant, who has not the least notion of eloquence, poffeffes not the smalleft talents for wit, humour, or ridicule, but when he makes an attempt that way, as do him juftice, is but feldom, appears as cluify and awkward as a dancing bear. SECOND SECOND PHYSICIAN. So! not fatisfied with giving me the lie downright, you fwear to it. Look ye, friend, 'tis nothing to me whether you believe it or no. But I tell you once more, he has a penfion of three hundred a year fettled on him for life; and I am not a perfon that like to have my word called in question, when I affirm any thing in fo ferious a manner. CRITICK.. Dear Sir, I ask you ten thousand pardons. But let us have no quarrel about that. No, let us rather join in lamenting the melancholy condition tafte and writing are reduced to in our native country. Fall'n to the ground, they can no lower fall. 'Tis really amazing our great menYet, perhaps, I wrong them, they might give him this by way of hufh-money, to hinder his writing any more.-That can't be true neither; he writes on, and what is worse, they imitate him.-Tafte, genius, eloquence, even language are now loft among |