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for it shortly after. On the 9th, Mr. Delamotte having come to him, they took boat for Charles-town : but the wind being contrary, and provisions falling short, they were obliged on the 11th, to land at a plantation to get some refreshment. The people were unwilling to let them have any : at length, however, they gave
them some bad potatoes, “ Of which, says Mr. Wesley, they plainly told us we robbed the swine.”- The wind continued contrary, and they in want of every thing, till about
noon, on the 12th, having reached John's Island, they desired a Mr.G.to let them have a little meat or drink of any sort, either with or without price. With much difficulty, he tells us, they obtained some potatoes, and liberty to roast them, in a fire his Negroes had made at a distance from the house.
Mr. Wesley proceeds. “ Early on Tuesday, December 13, we came to Charlestown, where I expected trials of a quite different nature, and more dangerous ; contempt and hunger being casy to be borne ; but who can bear respect and fulness of bread !"-On the 16th, he parted from his faithful friend Mr. Delamotte, from whom he had been but a few days separate since their departure from England. On the 22d he took his leave of America, after having preached the gospel, as he observes, in Savannah, not as he ought, but as he was able, for one year and near nine months.
In the beginning of the following May, Mr. Whitefield arrived at Savannah, where he found some serious persons, the fruits of Mr. Wesley's ministry, glad to receive him. He had now an opportunity of inquiring upon the spot, into the circumstances of the late disputes, and bears testimony to the ill usage Mr. Wesley had received ; but adds, he thought it most prudent not to repeat grievances.*
When he was
town * Robert's Narrative of the of Mr. George Whitefield, page 56.
town, Mr. Garden acquainted him with the ill treatment Mr. Wesley had met with, and assured him, that were the same arbitrary proceedings to commence against him, he would defend him with life and fortune.* These testimonies, of persons so respectable, and capable of knowing all the circumstances of the affair, coincide with the general tendency of the statement above given ; and with candid persons must do away all suspicions, with regard to the integrity of Mr. Wesley's conduct.
During his voyage to England, Mr. Wesley entered into a close and severe examination of himself, and recorded the result with the greatest openness. January 8, 1738, in the fulness of bis heart he writes thus : “ By the most infallible of proofs, inward feeling I am convinced, 1. Of unbelief; having no such faith in Christ, as will prevent my heart from being troubled. -2. Of pride, throughout my life past; inasmuch as I thought I had what I find I have not. 3. Of gross irrecol. lection ; inasmuch as, in a storm I cry to God every moment; in a calın not. 4. Of levity and luxuriancy of spirit-appearing by my speaking words not tending to edify ; but most, by my manner of speaking of my enemies-Lord save, or I perish! Save me, 1. By such a faith as implies peace in life and death. 2. By such humility, as may fill my heart from this hour for ever, with a piercing uninterrupted sense, Nihil est quod hactenus faci, that hitherto I have done nothing. 3. By such a recollection as may enable me to cry to thee every moment. 4. By steadiness, seriousnes, appevorati, sobriety of spirit, avoiding as fire, every word that tendeth not to edifying, and never speaking of any who oppose me, or sin against God, without all my own sins set in array before my face.”
January Ibid. page 58.
January 13. They had a thorough storm.--On the 24th, being about 160 leagues from the Land's-end, he observes, his mind was full of thought, and he wrote as follows: "I went to America to convert the Indians; but oh! who shall convert me! Who is he that will deliver me from this evil heart of unbelief ; I have a fair summer religion ; I can talk well, nay, and believe myself while no danger is near: but let death look me in the face, and my spirit is troubled. Nor can I say, To die is gain!
“ I have a sin of fear, that when I've spun
My last thread, I shall perish on the shore !”
“ I think verily if the gospel be true, I am safe-I now believe the gospel is true. I shew my faith by my works, by staking my all upon it. I would do so again and again a thousand times, if the choice were still to make. Whoever sees me, sees I would be a Christian. Therefore are my ways not like other men's ways. Therefore I have been, I am, I am content to be, a byeword a proverb of reproach. But in a storm I think, what if the gospel be not true; then thou art of all men the most foolish-0 who will deliver me from this fear of death! What shall I do? Where shall I fly from it? &c." These reflections on his own state, evince the deepest consciousness that he had not attained the privileges of a true believer in Christ; though he diligently sought them in the practice of every moral and religious duty according to the best of his knowledge. This would naturally suggest some defect in the principle on which he performed these duties. The next day, therefore, Jan. 25, he took a review of his religious principles on a few important points ; and in a private paper wrote as follows
“ For many years I have been tossed about by various winds of doctrine. I asked long ago, What must I do to be saved ?' The Scripture answered, keep the commandments, believe, hope, love ; follow after these tempers till thou hast fully attained, that is till death; by all those outward works and means which God hath appointed, by walking as Christ walked.
2“I was early warned against laying, as the Papists do, too much stress on outward works, or on a faith without works; which, as it does not include, so it will never lead to true hope or charity. Nor am I sensi- .' ble, that to this hour I have laid too much stress on either; having from the very beginning valued both faith, and the means of grace, and good works, not on their own account, but, as believing God who had . appointed them, would by them bring me in due time to the mind that was in Christ.
3. “ But before God's time was come, I fell among some Lutheran and Calvinist authors, whose confused and indigested accounts, magnified faith to such an amazing size, that it quite hid all the rest of the commandments. I did not then see, that this was the natural effect of their overgrown fear of Popery: being so terrified with the cry of merit and good works, that they plunged at once into the other extreme. In this labyrinth I was utterly lost: not being able to find out what the error was; nor yet to reconcile this uncouth hypothesis, either with Scripture or common sense.
4. “ The English writers, such as Bishop Beveridge, Bishop Taylor, and Mr. Nelson, a little relieved me from these well-meaning, wrong-headed Germans. Their accounts of Christianity, I could easily see to be, in the main, consistent both with reason and Scripture. Only when they interpreted Scripture in
different ways, I was often much at a loss. And again, there was one thing much insisted on in Scripture, The unity of the church, which none of them, I thought, clearly explained, or strongly inculcated,
5. “ But it was not long before Providence brought me to those, who shewed me a sure rule of interpreting Scripture ; viz. Consensus Veterum : Quod ab omnibus, quod ubique, quod semper creditum.' At the same time they sufficiently insisted upon a due regard to the one church, at all times, and in all places. Nor was it long before I bent the bow too far the other way: 1. By making Antiquity a coordinate, rather than sub-ordinate, rule with Scripture, 2. By admitting several doubtful writings, as undoubted evidences of Antiquity. 3. By extending Antiquity too far, even to the middle or end of the fourth century. 4. By believing more practices to have been universal in the ancient church, than ever were so. 5. By not considering that the Deerees of one Provincial Synod, could bind only that province; and that the Decrees of a general Synod, only those provinces whose representatives met therein. 6. By not considering, that the most of those Decrees were adapted to particular times and occasions ; and consequently when those occasions ceased, must cease to bind even those Provinces.
6. “ These considerations insensibly stole upon me, as I grew acquainted with the mystic writers : whose doble descriptions of union with God, and internal religion, made every thing else appear mean, flat, and insipid. But in truth they made good works appear so too ; yea, and faith itself, and what not? These gave me an entire new view of religion ; nothing like any I had before,
I had before. But alas ! it was nothing like that religion which Christ and his apostles lived