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deficient abilities, but he did not sufficiently encourage the use of the lamp for their improvement. The attention of a youth designed for the ministry, was too much diverted from the main object, and devoted too much to objects, comparatively trifling. I was considered as much the steward of his house as his assistant in the ministry. While I was kept in bay and at anchor, many piloted by him, set sail, and I at last knew not whether I were to indulge a hope for America or not. My fidelity being proved, I became one of the family, slept in the room of my honored patron, and had the privilege to sit at his table. I judged I was where I should be; and was determined never to finch from the path of duty, nor intentionally to grieve the man whom I knew had
many burdens upon him, and for whom I could have laid down my life. But I was unequal to my sphere, and sunk under my burden. It pleased the Lord thrice in the year to lay me upon a bed of sickness. In a letter from Mr. Whitefield to Mr. Adams, dated October 12, 1767, stands this sentence, “ Heaven is the believer's only resting place. There we shall not be distórbed, I do not know but Mr. Winter will get there soon, at present he is very ill.” The faculty who attended me, said my life was precarious, and advised my being sent into the country. Their advice opened a way for my first journey to Bristol, where I was eight months preaching and meeting the society every night in the week, and preaching three times on à sabbath-day, except now and then, when a minister came through the city. At my first going, few could hear me speak, but the Lord strengthened body and voice together, and attended his word with his blessing.
On my return, I found Mr. Whitefield had been busy and successful in getting one, and another ordained for the Colonies, but he -made no motion for me; this I thought hard, though I concealed the feeling of my disappointment. I now and then signified to Mr. -Whitefield, that my inclination for America was as strong as ever. Imprudences in some of the missionaries, and the unbecoming manner in which others applied to the society for propagating the gospel, for admission into their service, made my application for orders, much more difficult than it would formerly have been. While on a second visit to Bristol, which held four months, Mr. Whitefield wrote me a letter, informing me that a Mr. Wright who was a very principal person with him, had agreed with his relations, to go to Georgia, to
put the Orphan-house upon a new plan, and
from some gentlemen,* requesting him to send them over a proper person for such a charge, and observed, that after entering upon it, and being recommended home for ordination for the service, there was no doubt but I should succeed. This had great weight with me, and though I thought it a tedious method, I was in hopes it would answer a good end at last. I told Mr. Whitefield I would give myself to his disposal, and hoped by him to discover the will of God. Several months past after this, no farther notice was taken of the business, though letters had passed between him and the gentlemen upon it. The reason appeared plain to me: Mr. Whitefield had made me very useful to himself, could repose confidence in me, and was unwilling to part with me. He had so delayed the business, that by the time I had arrived at Georgia, the gentlemen had given over all thoughts of my coming. He at last came to a determination that if I would go, I should
go with him, and when the time of my departure was at hand, I went out not knowing whither I went, nor upon what condition. I only knew that I was bound for Georgia, and that I was going to teach the negroes the way of salvation. The necessary preparations for the voyage so engrossed my attention that I had little time to take a formal leave of my friends, nor did I want it, but for the sake of a select few. I had no inclination to preach a farewel sermon, but get off as quietly as I could on Friday, September 2d. 1769, with a party of friends in a Gravesend boat, to go to our vessel laying at Gravesend. Mr. Whitefield came the next day with a very large party, in coaches and chaisęs, and the next day preached two sermons, one in the morning in the little place called the tabernacle, for the use of the church was denied him, and in the evening in the Market-place. I preached in the afternoon. Several of the company breakfasted with us on board the vessel, on Monday morning, previous to the final leave, which they took immediately after.
* These were the executors of Mr. Zububuhler, late rector of Savannah: who by his will had provided for the support of a minister to instruct his negroes, but enjoining that the person employed should be a clergyman.