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admonition befits not only the fiercely persecuted to whom it was first addressed, but likewise others in every age, and with the rest, those who are in such a state of preponderation as to be uncertain which way the balance will turn; whose path is so intricate that they know not which way to go; the prospect of whose duty is so obscured, as that they know not what to do. This was really the case with me, when I returned from my Chatham excursion. I earnestly sought employ in the business to which I had been brought up, but could obtain none. I did not on any

I did not on any consideration intend to see Mr. Winter; I very studiously avoided his house and person, nor did I see him for some months after. My absence from London alarmed many of my christian friends, some of whom censured me. While I was conscious to myself, I did not wish to eat the bread of idleness, my present circumstances were attributed to indolence of disposition. This made my burden the heavier. Mr. Elliot whom I frequently called upon, encouraged me to preach, but I one day told him such were the surmises of my friends, that it became necessary. I should convince them they were under a mistake, by turning my thoughts to service; and I begged him to use his endeavors to procure me a place. He warmly remonstrated against such a step, pressed me with questions, respecting my call to preach the gospel, submitted to my consideration, 1 Cor. ix. 16. and requested me patiently to wait for the opening of Providence. He had taken upon him the superintendency of the congregation on Portsmouth common at their particular desire, in which he had been made very useful, by the repeated visits he had made. This congregation had been raised by Mr. Whitefield and his assistants, but had been in a long state of neglect, or visited very seldom. Mr. Elliot introduced me to this people, and the Lord was pleased to bless my efforts among them. I twice repeated my visit. But whatever pleasure the people gained, they were seasons of humiliation to me. I began to see the importance of the work in a stronger light than ever, my insufficiency for it likewise affected me much. I strove to 'meditate but could not, and often went into the pulpit' unprepared. It must be observed all this time, I was wholly illiterate. My unsettled state was unfavorable to improvement, and I had no one to give me the least instruction. Unfortunately, I adopted the Hebrew instead of the English grammar, by which my idea of the subject of grammar

was too 'superficial, and I was a considerable time before I could understand the doctrine of the eight parts of speech. I now also entered upon

the Latin and Greek grammar. By read. ing good authors, I saw my own defects in their excellences, and endeavored to correct them. My poverty and want of retirement, were great obstructions to my progress. The gratuities I received for my service, merely defrayed my journies. My clerical friends gave me neither hints nor helps. I frequently pored over subjects, and left them as I found them. I had not resolution to ask questions of those who might have helped me. My modesty has in this been a disadvantage to me, and it may be, pride has attached itself to modesty. Men of understanding and of some literature, have usually made a part of the congregations, I preached to at my first coming out, and when I have suspected them to be present, it was a yast embarrassment to me. I fell under one mistake, against which young preachers should be guarded, especially they who come out under deficiency of knowledge, and that was being devoted to letter writing. How much time have I employed in that way, which should have been devoted to the preparation for the pulpit. The motive for so doing was pure,

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though the thing itself was wrong. I should have recollected that pnlpit exercises and literary pursuits required my time. I did indeed recollect, but fainted and sunk under discouragement. I visited too often, and made my visits too long.. One circumstance I cannot omit to take notice of sometimes was in a state of doubt respecting the propriety of the constructions I put upon texts of scripture, which I had selected for my use in the pulpit; I had not met with expository helps; : when being asked to dine with a respectable tradesman, and going some time before dinner, I was introduced into a parlor, where was a large hook-case, which contained Dr. Gill's exposition. I amused myself by referring to particular texts I had preached from, at different times, on which I gained no information, but relied on my own meditation, and in every one I found a coincidence of thought with the Doctor. This was a comfort to me,

Whatever deficiency I was under, the Lord conveyed a blessing by the use of such a degre of ability as I possessed. Au innovation being made upon the calvinistic cause at Sheerness by Mr. Wesley's people, occasioned the leading people in that place, who had contented themselves with reading sermons, rather than

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countenance men of inferior talents, to make exertion for immediate help, while I was spend. ing my time between Canterbury and Chatham. I was therefore invited over in haste. I walked over from Sittingbourn on a severe winter's day, and in the evening, addressed the people from Judges vi. 14. It had an amazing effect. I became a frequent and an acceptable visitor, and cannot easily forget the times of refreshing the Lord youchsafed us from his presence.' Mr. Shrubsole who till then had contented himself with being a reader, from that time became a preacher, and the cause, till then cramped, became under his ministry very flourishing. There lived an eminent old saint by the name of Wadsworth, who had been separated from the society by disgust, who from that time became reconciled and re-united, and as the testimony of his affection to me, when he died, left me half-a-crown and his bible. The first legacy I ever received.

At this period, which was 1766, I was wandering in the parts mentioned already, and waiting for farther intimations of the will of God. I had frequently heard Mr. Whitefield làment the want of ministers in America. I knew he had sent some who were equally deficient in point of learning with myself, and I

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