fchemes of general utility which are neither folicited nor adopted. I can alfo make fome allowance for the tafte of the publick in regard to the fubjects which have hitherto employed my pen, and am very willing to confefs that I may not, perhaps, have hit upon the fchemes and improvements that are moft in demand in these times. I have no modifications of political taxes, or mechanical engines and filtering machines to propofe; and I have faid nothing pertaining to that extenfive philofophy which has been fo fuccefsfully employed to give an edge to razors, and a glofs to boots. Inattentive, however, as I may be in fuch matters, I am unwilling to let the year depart without fome fpecimen of my skill on familiar fubjects; and as Mr. Urban informs me that, by fome fecret compact between him and Time, his year always confifts of 13 months, I fhall take this opportunity of impart ing a fcheme, in the projection of which, I flatter myself, I fhall have a great proportion of the publick on my fide, I mean no lefs than a grand plan for the improvement of thefe ufeful aftronomical and chronological treatifes, intituled ALMANACKS. Thefe productions, I am forry to fay it, and I with to fpeak with deference to my worthy friends the worshipful Company of Stationers, the only Company who give bread to conjurors, and encourage that infpection into future events which is all that remains of antient prophecy. Thefe productions, I beg leave to repeat, have too long perfifted in the obftinacy of an antiquated, and, I hope I may fay it without offence, a jog-trot plan, without any compliance with the changes that have taken place within a century in our manners and habits, and without once confidering, or indeed appearing to be in the leaft degree feuible, that there exifts a WORLD of FASHION, whofe times and feafons are not to be regulated by the heavenly bodies, but by other bodies duly conftituted for the purpofe, and which move in eccentric orbs, and defcribe circles of which the great Mafter Lilly, or his fucceffor Merlin, could have no idea. I was led to confider this important fubject a few nights ago, when I received the annual prefent of Rider's British Merlin from my ftationer, a man who, I will do him the juftice to fav, knows the value of a prefent to GENT. MAG. Supplement, 1802. a poor Projector, although he has lately dropt fome hints about the advanced price of the article, and the propriety of abolishing vails. On looking over this new edition of my old friend Mr. Cardanus Rider, I faw, as it were in a moment, the inutility of going on in the old way, and giving a great deal of information to the publick on matters in which they are now little concerned, while a profound filence is preferved refpecting the many important fubjects which engage universal attention. The principal error, I foon difcovered, of thofe gentlemen, Mr. Rider, Mr. Moore, Mr. Wing, and others, who " compile for their country's benefit," has been their taking the word country in a fenfe too limited for modern times, and confequently underftanding thereby that part of his Majetty's dominions only which is "cff the ftones," to the utter exclufion of that other and more important diftrict which lies within the Bills of Mortality, or, to fpeak with more precifion, between Hyde-park Corner and White chapel church. In a word, they have neglected to make the proper diftinction between town and country, and have devoted their attronomical labours entirely to the latter, as if the town had any thing in common with the country. Of this mistake, and its fatal confe quences, it may be neceffary to offer a few proofs before I proceed to lay open my plan of improvement. And here I' fhall firft obferve a very prominent fource of error. While they continue to divide the year into four quarters, or, as fome call them, feafons, they do not feem to have the leaft idea of the proper beginning or ending of any of thele feafons. For example, that antient gentleman, Mr. Cardanus Rider, fiates, with more gravity than we can preferve in reading it, that the winterquarter begins December 22, at 36 miHutes paft 5 o'clock. I fhall not quarrel with him about minutes; but I fhould be glad to know if any perfon living in the WORLD, properly fo called, ever heard of winter beginning before the Queen's birth-day; that is to fay, before the town is full? And I leave it to my readers to determine, whether it be not extremely abfurd to compute winter by a certain quantity of fnow or froft, the price of coals, the appearance of mince-pies, or the death of turkies., This This error, however, being once eftablished, let us contemplate the feries of blunders which are in its train. The Spring is faid to begin on March 21, which is the very middle of the Winter feafon; and the Summer is faid to begin at June 22, whereas every child knows that the Summer is a moveable feason, and depends entirely on the prorogation of parliament, and the vifitation of the watering-places, Autumn, by the fame mistake, is made to begin Sept. 23; but this may be pardoned as harmless at leaft, fince no fuch feafon is known in the metropolis, it being a place which is difcovered at that time to be very unwholefome to every person that can afford to leave it. Thefe are fome of the fources of error, which our Almanack-makers have increased, from a want of attention and conformity to the manners of modern times and feafons. It is notorious that thefe are as different from what our anceftors were used to, as the climate of England is from that of Lapland, and indeed much more fo, fince the length of night in Lapland feems calculated for a much more genteel and refined clafs of fociety than thofe which inhabit that country. Why our aftrologers fhould fill up their lucubrations with fo much information about the fun is truly aftonishing, at leaft it is a proof that they facrifice the interefts of the town to thofe of the country. What purpose can their information respect ing fun-rifing anfwer, except it be a hint to break up company? The progrefs of the fun, it is well known, is a matter of no confequence in London, the inhabitants of which (I mean thofe who live in the WORLD) have the leaft perfonal acquaintance of all people on earth with that luminary, and are in a great measure independent of either his light or heat. The age of the moon, indeed, may fill be retained; it may be occafionally useful in vifits round the metropolis; and fome players are faid to fix their benefits when it is at the full, from a notion that all the world does not travel by torch-light. I would alfo retain fame flight mention of this luminary, from the influence it is fuppofed to have in many of the arrange ments of fashionable life—at leaft fuch is the opinion of Dr. Willis, and other gentlemen of the faculty with whom I have had the honour of converfing on this fubject. My new plan then is, briefly, to mit all thofe calculations which re fpect the fun, and infert in their room In lieu of all fuch advice, I would propofe the following, or fomething like it, which might be varied every year, and which will be found to fuit the WORLD much better than any anx iety about the roots of trees, or the fetting of kernels. JANUARY. In this month, finish your Chrifimas vifits: take an account of card money, and prepare to return to London : draw from your steward as much as he can ferape together, and give orders about the birth-day dreffes. FEBRUARY. Begin to leave cards at the houfes of three or four hundred friends: inquire where they have been "this age paft:" keep an account of the names of lap-dogs, and a lift of colds and fprained ankles: fubfcribe to the gaming-loufes and concerts, and get acquainted with the names and qualifications of the new opera performers. Avoid coming too early to the theatre, and dine as foon as the play is over. MARCH. Begin your rous, and let the world know when you are at home: vifit Covent-garden market, and learn what fruits are moft out of feafon: lay in a flock of cherries and green peafe: befpeak glaffes and china from the shops upon return: employ See a trial in the Court of King's Bench, CAPE V. VAUGHAN, reported in the papers July 9. the the lamplighter to decorate the rooms, and invite about twice the number of friends they will contain. Sow paragraphs in the news-papers, and difturb the neighbourhood till day-time. APRIL. In this month give public breakfasts in the afternoon, and go to dinner about an hour after fun-fet. Vifit other peoples routs, wonder how they can do fuch things with an eftate fo dipt and be very prolix in the account of your efcapes from the poles of coaches. Reckon up the number of broken limbs and axle-trees, and walk home in the face of day through a violent fhower. Count the colds caught; and read with aftonishment in the news-papers the brilliancy of the rout, the hofpitality of the miftrefs of the houfe, the plenty of all fcarcities, and the amazing convenience of accommodation, and conviviality of the company. MAY. This is a good month to marry let the old folks make up matches, and the young ones accept them without farther delay. Plant Crim. Cons. and rail at the judges as a parcel of monkifh ignoramufes who know nothing of the world. Enquire of Chriftie what can be raised on the Effex cftate. Take tickets for benefits, and give them to diftant coufins, and your people in the housekeeper's room, Fill the parks on Sunday, and place blood-horfes in curricles, that there may be no dearth of accidents. JUNE. Prepare for the birth-day; confult often with milliners, and mantuamakers; continue publick break fafts, and midnight dinners; think of leaving town; it begins to be horrible; wonder at the impertinence of tradef men fending in bills of four, five and fix years old; and confider the pro priety of another trip to Paris. JULY. The parliament ftill obftinate; give feles champetre, and push on the breakfafts to evening; give balls before dinner, and go to bed next day. Begin to think in earnest of leaving town, but be not hafty in determining where to go; and laft of all, to go to your own manfion in the country. Give hints of a new equipage, to dazzle the eleguntes of Paris." AUGUST. Vifit Brighthelmftone, Cheltenham, Tunbridge, &c; make fmall routs fit for villages; get new acquaintances, and erect columns in the newfpapers, to the memory of your walks, and rides, dinners, and dances, dejeunes, and petits foupers. Plant crim. cons. for the winter, and prepare to astonish the publick with fome wonderful faux pas. SEPTEMBER. Vifit Paris, and find every thing fuperior to Old England. Squeeze to fee Bonaparte, and write home his height, and breadth, and the form of his mouth, nofe, chin, and forehead: take particular notice of his eyes, and if he fay nothing, make a neat reply for him. Vifit the national mufeum and galleries, and admire every thing beyond all power of expreffion-but don't ask how any thing came there. OCTOBER. As the weather becomes colder, throw off fome part of the fummer drefs; vifit Margate about the time the cits leave it; attempt public breakfasts, and balloons, fpeculate on afs-races, and men jumping in facks. Be out late at night, as colds caught now are more durable than at any other feafon. A few duels may be practifed this month with great eclat, and it is a good time to elope. NOVEMBER. Retire for a few weeks to the family manfion, to recruit; in fpect the accompts, and ways and means for the winter; fell the oaks, and plant mortgages for Brookes's. See what can be raifed upon the stud, and write to Tatterfal. The weather being now very cold and bleak, finish the fummer at Brighton. DECEMBER. Come to town for a few days, if parliament fhould meet: be prefent at court, and at the divifion of the Houfe; go directly into the country to spend Christmas with some friend, but as diftant as poffible from your own tenants. Plant causes, and fee counfel for next term. I may fafely appeal to my readers whether advice of this nature, varied according to circumftances, would not be more appropriate to the generality of the WORLD, than that perpetual care which Mr. Cardanus Rider advifes us to take of our cabbages, and our health; or thofe anxious precepts he delivers on the fowing of turnips, and the eating of falt mea. Yet let it not be thought that I would wish to refirict our Aftrologers entirely to the affairs of this lower world. They may fill confult the ftars, although for dif ferent purpoles. They may fill amufe the world by calculating a divorce upon the fame principles they calculate an eclipfe; for the tranfit of Mercury, they may predict the fate of an embally, and and instead of comets, threatening deftruction, let them fortell the confequences of French theatres erected in an English metropolis. As to terms, they may omit that article altogether, fince the pleasurable world is refolved, to keep no terms; but furely, infiead of Saints' days, it would be a great improvement to decorate the kalender with ladies nights. THE PURSUITS OF ARCHITECTURAL INNOVATION. No. LVI. WAVERLEY, Continued. IT T was now near the clofe of day, when, being oppreffed with fatigue and unpleafant thoughts, I re-entered the cave before defcribed, to reft a while. I reclined on one of the feats; the fun had funk below the horizon, whofe fading beams caft a fhort-lived gloom, fufficient to fhew in doubtful fort each crag, jutt, or fiffure, and thofe initials cut in upon the bofom of the rock to commemorate the vifit of each explorator; all ferved to amufe in fome degree my half attentive mind. Thus engaged, the day departed, and the obfcurity of twilight betrayed me into a flumber; when methought I faw the cavern elevate its diftant arches equal to thofe at the entrance: the fides were extended, the length Eaft and Weft driven out to three times their ufual diftance, and changed by an inftantaneous transition into a vaulted aile, gorgeously enriched with fcreens, windows, doorways, columns, receffes, an altar, and all those other particulars appertaining to fuch a scene of fplendour. And now the harmony of fweettoned voices broke upon my ear; when lo! I beheld advancing in folemn fhew a long train of holy perfonages. Prof trate I awaited their approach. The principal of this reverend throng feemed in deep conference with one who held in his hands the ichnography of a fumptuous pile, with compafles and pencil. The initial E, in a large character, was embroidered with gold on his breaft; there were three numerals alfo attached, but their meaning was wholly unintelligible to my fight. This pious company, on encountering me, food for fome moments wondering at the appearance of a ftranger, whofe garb was fo entirely different from the raiment which dignified them. The fuperior thus bepoke me: "What is thy purpose here? Is it to view our flate with aw ful refpect, or by rancorous malice feek to betray our religious establishment? Do these coftly decorations raife your devotion, or your avarice?" Unable to answer, I with the moft profound veneration pointed to the delineated roll in the hands of the perfon who ftood by his fide; who infiantly underfood my meaning, and thus expreffed himself in my behalf. "This vifitant, whom I know by the penciled reprefentations lying by him to be of an useful and laudable employ, I doubt not, comes with honeft ardour, to imitate by lineal means the embellishments of thefe lofty walls, and the niemorials of the palt great. I will be anfwerable that he fpeaks well on his return of all he fees; and not, by foul contumely or bafe fcurrility, feek to contaminate thofe glories which are but as harbingers to more refulgent brightnefs." Finding it till impoffible to utter the fentiments which pressed upon my heart for fuch benevolent affurances, I clafped my hands together in token of truth and gratitude, when my kind advocate thus proceeded : "As I am about to conftruct a new pile, in honour of Him who governs all things, within a diftant vale, where roams the Thames' fair flood, as fhewn in thefe my plans and elevations, I will find this ftranger an office congenial to his mind; he fhall be my coadjutor in the undertaking." Here confuted and appalling founds broke in on our folemu intercourfe; when inftantly I faw the countenance of each character turn pale, and their attitudes to full of devotion betray evident figns of terror and afright. The uproar increasing, I turned round to the Weltward, whence the noife proceeded; and I beheld (confufion to my eyes!) a terrific band of men coming forward, each bearing in their uplifted hands fome intrument or other appertaining to the different branches of that profeflion in which all their labours centered. They were, indeed, my brethren in Architectural Purfuits; but, ah! how different our interefts! Their determinations were to deftroy, mine to fave! Their leader, who fecmed to have a determined foul and powerful arm to qua• lify him to this command, cried out, "Follow me, and renew the affault which has been delayed for more than a century paft. Cut out the feveral divifions from pier to pier of thefe windows; down with thofe entablatures, thofe paintings paintings of knights, fhields of arms, effigies of faints, inferiptons! Away with this altar, as a pafs is wanted through the Eastern wall. Convert the fcreen at the Weft porch into a room for entertainment. Some fly and overthrow the fquare and lofty tower, which fuftains the Eaft flank of you court of juftice. Let others tear out thofe window traceries, whieh are above the fretted roof on the Eaft fide of the adjoining ambulatory of four fides. Undermine-Here my zeal for the protection of thefe devoted objects getting the maftery of my prudence, I fprung forward to plead their caufe; when two of the advanced perpetrators of all thefe threatened evils aimed their mattocks (on which were engraved "1809") at my defenceles breaft. I retreated to feek refuge in the fanctuary of my holy patrons; when (dreadful to relate) I perceived them recede, with all their pomp, into thin air. The innovations now began; and, from one mercilefs and direful fweep made by the havock-mafter-general of this treinendous force, all was leveled with the earth, and not one ftone was left upon another. A dreary wafte became manifeft, even from a muddy bank, bear ing at the Southern point to a Northern interfecting pafs leading over a mighty river. A vacuum now took place alfo in my farther view of this frange fpectacle; and I fuddenly acquired the return of my true vifion, to gaze by help of the glow-worm's light once more around Ludlam's difmal cave, to recall my disturbed phantafy, and to cry farewell! MIDHURST, Sussex. COWDRY HOUSE. Twenty-eight years have elapfed fince I first vifited this antient mansion, then eminent for a long race of illuftrious poffeffors; rich in every fpecies of adornment, both of the tatie of the age of its conftruction and of the fafhions of modern times. I remember well the noble gate of entrance, its elevated towers; and, when I entered into the great court, noted the lodgings on either hand, the great hall before me, particularized each turret, battlement, window, and doorway. In the porch of the hall I found groins fweetly turned, and charged with delicate tracery. Paffing into the interior of the edifice, the hall difplayed as of yore the finoaking board, and on the walls were hung the trophies of the chace. The parlour exhibited the celebrated paintings of the exploits of our eighth Henry, even as fresh as when first placed there in his day. The chapel told each original arrangement, although bearing a fhew, in point of carvings, gildings, and religious drettes, to the handy-work of modern times.. Through every chamber, clofet, bower, I took my admiring way; ftili fome varied fubject, either of fculpture or painting, bearing on my notice. How much of the line of anceftry was then in prefervation! The mafters of the imitative art had done their utmost to perpetuate the memory of each renowned name there put forth for juft emulation. With me, a hope remained that I might alfo at fome future period contribute my mite in handing down to futurity the "fhadows" of objects pre-eminent and glorious, even the antient ftructures of this land. Quick fly the hours, years pafs away: the imperfections of human nature fubject man to change in fentiment, leave the fair path which flood before him, and turn afide into wilds and thorny ways. Philofophy drags him from Chriftianity; new phantafies of right and wrong make him quit the old opinions of good and evil. Fashion, intereft, and worldly gratification, indeed, take a turn with us all; hood-winked thus, we hurry on, we fall, and are no more. My mind, like yon threatening cloud, is fraught with trouble and anxiety, fhocked as I am at beholding a fecond time Cowdry, and in her prefent deplored condition. O fad reverfe of fate! how has all the once-bright profpects of this feat been blafted! A ra ging unrefifted fire has ravaged through every part; a fire not wholly accidental, but—I cannot denounce, my judgment is at fault. Let thofe who brood on crimes cry out, "We are the men who did the deed!" With much reluctance I approached the remains of poor departing Cowdry; when, exclaiming, "Devoted manfion, thou art without a protector! no one to come forward in claim, to call thee forth by due repair and hofpitable refidence to a renovation of thy late honours! Thy ills began even on the very hour when thy laft mafter fell a victim to his provoked deftiny! Miferable coincidence of circumstances; thou becamest a prey to wasting fire; he, to a watery grave! To |