A POACHER, who was lately carried before a magistrate, upen a charge of unlawfully killing game in a nobleman's park, where he was caught in the fact, being asked what he had to say in his defence, and what proof he could bring to support it? replied, "An please your worship, I know and confess that I was found in his lordship's park, as the witness has told you; but I can bring the whole rish to prove that for these thirty years it has been my manner."

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EMERY, in the character of Robert Grange, a Country Bumpkin, in the New Play of Delays and Blunders, tells the audience, that he was once examined in court at the assizes, when, on a little blackfaced man in a wig and a gown asking him a question, he answered, "Why look'e Mr. Councillor, you are paid for giving your opinion, and I am not such a fool as to give you mine for nothing."-On being questioned, if he was not called or known by the name of the thieving poacher? "Yes," says he, "I am, by such chups as you, but not by gentlemen."

Mr. CHERRY, the new Comedian at Drury-Lane Theatre, whose christian name is Andrew, is called by his intimate friends the Little Merry Andrew: he was written to a few years ago, with an offer of a very capital engagement, by a manager who had not acted altogether

A PERSON a few days since having met with an acquaintance, a printer, asked him if it was true that a Mr. F. had put a period to his existence? "No," said Mr. Typo, "he only put a comma to it, for he is in a fair way of recovery."

SUETT meeting Bannister a few mornings since, said, "I intend dining with you soon, on eggs and bacon. What day shall I come Jack?" To which the other replied, "Why, if you will have that dish, you must come on a Fry-day.❞

A MAN of Dover, going out in a merchant vessel, and rather suspicious of his wife's conduct, delivered her up to a bachelor friend of his, with this remark, "You want a housekeeper, Tom, to manage your prize money, of which I got none. I am going to sea, take my Bessy she is a notable sober body, though a little given to lose her helm; she is heartily at your service, because you are an old messmate; and I know, if you take her in tow, you will keep a sharp look out, both on my account and your own."

had played off upon his companions "If you make a Butt of me," said a fellow in the corner, "I shall take the liberty of giving you a Punch-con."

A LADY of sixty, and a young woman of seventeen, lately presented themselves with their paramours at Gretna Green. "Hold, hold," said the Matrimonial Vulcan to the Virgin, "you are young, and can wait a little; I see your Grandmother is impatient, let me put on her fetters first.”

A MAN of Ramsgate, very much addicted to drinking, of the name of Glass, having had several times the misfortune to tumble down and break his head, observed, that he really believed his whole frame was as brittle as glass itself;" you are right," said a fellow, standing on the pier, " for you resemble that commodity in more respects than one, being made for the same honourable purposes, to be filled by a sot, and then broken."

FATHER LIFITAN, the Jesuit, in his History of South America, says, that there is a country in that quarter in which are to be found hares who have four legs on their back, as well as the same number on their belly, and when tired of running on one set, they turn and run on the other!

pleasure, Sir," replied the auctioneer, bowing, and instantly presented to him a cork-screw.

ASSES MILK. Two brothers, not much distinguished for brilliancy, observed to Charles Bannister, that, on account of their health, they were going into the country to drink Asses milk.- "Save yourselves the expence," said Charles, "and suck one another."

A SINGULAR advertisement taken a short time since, from a Pennsylvania Paper." A complete coachman to be disposed of, who has three years and a half to serve. He is an excellent driver either postilion or on the box, is perfectly acquainted with the office of an hostler, huntsman, or waiter. He is healthy, strong, and honest. The only reason for his being sold is, because he will get drunk now and then, though not frequently. Inquire of the Printer.”

THE following curious instructions for a sign-board were sent to a painter in Shrewsbury, under date August 13, 1802: You are to draw the Shrawsbury coach with. six men on the roov, and two on the box-and chaise with two horses after the coach-also my namespirits, porter and ale-also I intend entertain a man an a horsealso my buissness wch as followthat is farring (farriery)-please to draw the flaims and lanchetts, and that I shall nick and crop-and water for horses-I beg you'd do it as you think proper yourself-and do it as I mentioned above."

A facetious farmer, of Yorkshire, who had a mind to be witty, at the expence of decorum, lately received a rebuff, which was taken with as much good humour as it was given:

A lady had been walking with him over her farm, and shewing him her sheep and other stock; on their return, just as they were entering the house, the lady exclaimed"Dear me, you have not seen my calf, Sir,"" No, Ma'am," said the farmer, "I never saw higher than your ancle." The lady of course, felt herself rather confused at this unexpected sally, but soon recollecting herself, observed"that she should never see a calf again without thinking of him."

A FASHIONABLE SPORTSMAN
AND HIS FRIEND.

Dick. Lend me a horse, my friend Bob,

for to-morrow

We'd a d-mn-ble run the last day.
Dick. The Black—

Bob. He's blister'd.
Dick. The Brown-
Bob. He is fir'd.
Dick. The Bay-

Bob. She's a stumbling bitch;

You should not have her, Dick, unless
I desir'd

To see you laid dead in a ditch.
Dick. Pray, which shall I have, then---
Brown, Muzzle, or Crop?
Bob. I lend none, if truth I must tell:
I've no licence, I own, but my stable's
a shop-

I ride all my horses-to sell.

SPORTING