undergo this species of purgatory, I shall lay before my readers a short account of my entertainment, which together with the philosophic manners of my host is invariably the same, and remains unaltered either by time, season or cir

cumstances.

Dr. Metaphrastus is one of those who affect to know more than they have read, and have read more than they can digest or understand. In short his ostentation outweighs his industry in the same proportion as his industry does his wit. As to the common occurrences of life, it may be a matter of doubt, whether his real or pretended ignorance prevails. Society, pleasure, and conviviality are below him; with him moroseness evinces scholarship, and profound learning is increased by brutality, and to be once guilty of good manners would in his opinion be equivalent to high treason. The Doctor is a professed enemy to a connubial life, many circumstances therefore in his dress, appearance and manners occur, which might be considerably meliorated by the marriage state but at present, being so profoundly wrapped up in himself, and the contemplation of his own learning are, by him at least, totally unobserved. If indeed the question were to be asked, how the Doctor's nails became

so dirty? it might be rejoined with Stella, "by scratching himself." But to omit personalities of which it is not my intention to complain, I am on my arrival received with all that haughty condescension, which but too often accompanies the great and learned towards their more ignorant inferiors. In a very short time I perceive the usual swarm of quotations issuing from the neverfailing source of his "oral rotundity," by which name he is pleased to dignify the simple mouth. To the utterance of which the extended curls of his enormous periwig, add no small portion of dignity. After various preambles, the first grand attack made upon me is an interrogation with regard to my studies, not for the sake either of satisfying his own curiosity, applauding or blaming my pursuits, or pointing out more worthy objects: the ostentation of his own superiority is his only motive. Upon my answer, I am instantly assailed with a shower of unintelligible criticisms, wandering from one author to another, innumerable observations and comments; so that after several attempts to follow him through the mazes of his scholastic labyrinth in search of a glimpse of light, I am forced to sit contented amidst total darkness. But these are not my only difficulties; for his opinions, sufficiently impenetrable in their own nature, are

covered, or rather concealed under so thick a cloak of patched and pyeballed languages, that he might be supposed like Hudibras

"When he did gabble

To've heard three labourers of Babel,
Or Cerberus himself pronounce

A leash of languages at once.”

Immediately after this a fire of metaphysics, paradoxes, abstract ideas, entities, non entities, vented with equal volubility, and in equally unintelligible jargon, fills up the interval till dinner. Upon my first visit I conceived that I should be now, in some measure at least, released from my torments, but sad experience has convinced me of the contrary. What pedant indeed, with weaker passions than those of Metaphrastus, could resist so fruitful a theme for a learned tongue? The table is the subject of an essay, the chair of a comment, and every dish is productive of a discussion in proportion to its size and merits. Athenæus, Grævius, and Gronovius are quoted without cessation or mercy. After a long dissertation on the digo, the Who and the triclinia, we at last sit down. But the soup grows cold during a description of the genuine Lacedæmonian broth, and a whole boat

of sauce was overturned by an aukward attempt to set out the dishes in the true Roman style.

I believe indeed, that had not the trouble and expence luckily stood in the way; I should have been treated with an entertainment in the manner of the ancients; for the ideas of my worthy host; and the physician of Smollet, seemed in that respect perfectly to coincide. After dinner having partaken of a very large portion of imaginary Falernian, but a very small share of simple port, we retire. The evening passes in the same manner as the morning, though with a greater share of troubles attending the unfortunate sufferer. Folios are heaped on folios, quartos, octavos, and duodecimos are opened and consulted one after the other, and I have been occasionally tempted to doubt which was in the greatest confusion, the doctor's room or his head. In vain have I sought amidst this torrent of learning to gain the smallest information. I have attempted to ask him questions on literary subjects, but find this no surer method. To one simple query so many objections are raised, so many disputes on the subject recapitulated, so many opinions quoted and refuted, that a simple answer can by no means be extracted. I have attempted to return the

fire, and to give him a quotation in his own way, but either am instantly over-awed by a solemn frown, knocked down by a direct contradiction, or honoured with a dissertation on the unlucky passage for half an hour. During which time it is immpossible to put in a word, as he claims to himself the exclusive right of being disagreeable.

At night I am shewn to my bed chamber, which Metaphrastus dignifies (not without a long expla nation) with the name of Tegov, but in my opinion is no better than a common garret. During my last visit, just as I was in the act of departure, an enormous Plato was taken down, and a long-winded comment immediately entered upon, first the author in question, then after an easy transition to Homer and Virgil, the discourse was turned on Aristotle and Longinus; in short he rang a peal upon the several classics in Hebrew, Greek, and Latin, intermixing a fair proportion of his native tongue. In the middle of which discussion, with a hasty, or rather with no leave at all I quitted the house, leaving the Doctor and his Plato with as much trepidation and speed, as if in the shape of a Gorgon or Eury he was following close at my heels to add new torments to my disturbed imagination.

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