from my natural politeness I should be tempted to deal out any ill-timed compliments. However I gained my chair in perfect safety, and having seated myself began, as I had previously determined, to contemplate the manners and countenances of the different persons who composed this august assembly. I had sufficient leisure to pursue this determination, as each individual was so entirely wrapped up in the admiration, and display of his own eloquence and sentiments, that I remained silent and unnoticed amid the tumult which assailed me from all corners of the room. For no one, as might easily have been foreseen, was contented with talking to himself in any moderation; but each endeavoured to out-bawl his neighbour, and by putting forth the whole strength and eloquence of his oratorical powers, to arrest the attention of his companions.

The first object that caught my eye, was a tall, slim, meagre personage, who had placed himself exactly opposite to me, and was sitting with his legs stretched out, his arms hanging by the sides of his chair, and his eyes fixed upon the floor, as if he was there reading the amorous rhapsodies, which he was drawling out in a tremulous, despairing tone of voice, and which he enforced by frequently shaking his head to and

fro like the peudulum of a clock. Whilst I was smiling at the words and gestures of this ludicrous figure, whom I conjectured to be in love, a loud consequential voice thundered from behind.-"Was I born to be treated thus? Shall Jeremiah Bragg tamely suffer his nose to be pulled by Major D ? No! nor by any Major in Great Britain! By Heaven! he shall answer for his insolence! nor will I quit the field until one of us fall. I was not a little astonished upon discovering the author of this spirited Philippic to be a pale, squat, broad-mouthed animal, whom I had seen publicly corrected by an officer for imper tinence on the preceding evening: the noise I made in turning my chair round, recalled him to his recollection; when perceiving that he was considerably disconcerted by my appearance, I directed my attention towards another part of the room, and left him to enjoy his dreams of glory and revenge unmolested.

"Now when I've finished the preface, and published the Panegyric Ode," exclaimed a happy self-important, little parson, rubbing his hands together, and looking very arch with his left eye, "why then, I think his Lordship cannot fail to give me a handsome donation at least; perhaps the vicarage" He was continuing to

feast upon these luscious ideas, when his voice was drowned in the deeper bass of a stern, athletic man, who had risen from his chair, and was violently thumping his fist upon a neighbouring table, and pouring forth a deluge of unintelligible arguments; the words." defendant-plaintiff -my lords-witness-the case is-gentlemen of the jury-as clear as day;" vehemently repeated, at once convinced me that he could be nothing else but a lawyer. Not far from this oratorical hero I observed a person attentively leaning over the table, and drawing some mechanical figures upon it with his finger, which he continually dipped into a pot of Porter that stood at his elbow: having at length finished his plan, he cried out in an extacy-" If the minister would order a hundred boats to be made on this admirable principle, we might land fifty thousand men at Calais-France would be ours in a month, and then I" At this minute of exultation, the lawyer by one furious blow overthrew the porter pot, and completely effaced every tittle of the unfortunate Projector's design.

The confusion of voices momentarily increased, and the uproar now became universal. In vain the president hinted order; in vain the members turned their backs upon each other. and made

1

observations,

Each endeavoured to be heard

above the rest; while the different persons were alternately distinguished amid the tumult proclaiming their favourite topics. "Can I bear to be used thus?"-" My Lord Littleton speaking of this clause."" The more I try to please her, the more." Might we bid de"Alas! my au

fiance to Gallic to Gallic

tyranny."

thority is gone."-" I'd turn the field into a garden, and as for the parsonage"""Malice prepense." My nose indeed!"-Peace, gentlemen, I beseech you."-" And when Tommy is breeched."

66

Revenge."—" Glory." "IIId. of King

The Rules of the club were now transgressed in a thousand instances, and there was scarcely a member who did not deserve expulsion. Nor did the uproar cease here; words brought on blows; and chairs, stools, porter-pots, and every sort of utensil flew about the room in all directions. I therefore thought it high time to regain the door, which, by creeping under several tables, and after many hair-breadth escapes, I at length accomplished, and sneaked home with a full determination never again to enter a society, where all are talkers, and none hearers.

E.

THE

MINIATURE.

NUMB. X.

MONDAY, June 25, 1804.

-λάβροι

Παγγλωσσία, κόρακες ὡς

ακρανία γαρύειον

PINDAR, Olym. 2,

They who with loquacious learning stored Like Crows and chattering Jays."

WEST.

AMONG the tribe of my acquaintances I have the misfortune to be connected with a gentleman, who among his literary brethren may pass perhaps for a profound scholar, but among the lower and less enlightened race of mortals is distinguished by the vulgar appellation of a pedant. With this person I am occasionally invited to spend the day, or as he more classically terms it συνδειπνεῖν. Being for various reasons bound to